You Might be an Aspie if...

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If you are blinded/hypnotized by car lights at night.

If you can hear a butterfly flap its wings.

If you can read more than 100 pages an hour with a book you like, and still be able to sum it up months later.

If the sound of your own heart beat keeps you up at night.

The last one is rather beautiful.

Also : guilty of all!

- you might be an aspie if you would rather be with the cat than a person?

Yep. That would be me

Thought I would gather together all the "you might be an Aspie if..." that I had actually said, done or thought. So here goes

You might be an Aspie if...

....In Sunda School, you find the representations of the ark as a boat, with a keel and all, very irritating, when the Bible clearly describes the ark as a big rectangular box

(I find this especially irritating that Christians who claim to "love God above everything else" can't get basic facts right from what they say is "the Word of God": ie. The Bible )

-you think God takes it personally when you don't get the facts straight when referring to the Bible.

...you consider the pleasantries of others just a waste of time.

...you would rather have your liver pecked out by a giant crow than spend a day at the mall.

...You gave up on ever convincing people that you are not odd ages ago. You now just live your life and to hell with anyone who thinks it strange.

-The only way anyone gets you to the mall is by letting you go to the bookstore there.

-you wonder how people manage to actually survive heavy traffic without going into a nervous breakdown before they even get anywhere near where they are going....

...if you can hear the water dripping in the sink in the other room, but you don't notice the person sitting next to you is speaking to you.

-you need this sign for use in public places: ##ALERT--- SENSORY OVERLOAD COMMENCING-- ALL FUNCTIONING SYSTEMS WILL BE SHUT DOWN##

... you are perfectly content spending your Friday night in front of the computer on the internet.

-If you can survive solitary confinement (possibly).

...you don't need speed dial on the phone because you automatically memorize phone numbers the first time you dial them.

-If you are watching a movie with someone and you just have to point out problems. Example: watching the end of Braveheart and saying out loud, "Well, that's ridiculous; Wallace died in 1305 and Edward I died in 1307. And Edward II did sit on the throne for twenty years."

(my husband said to me once after seeing a movie "geez it is just a movie! You think too much")

-if, when recording your obsessionally favorite tv show, you start having a heart attack/tantrum because of the thunder storm/tornado icon at the bottom left of the screen that is RUINING your recording...

-if you actually make organizational lists of your prized possessions (i.e., books, movies) and these are all in either alphabetical or chronological order...

-if, since living on your own, you haven't dusted in over four years, vacuumed in six months, but your books are ordered and spic and span...

-If your pets require more social interaction than you do.

-if your pets HAVE more social interaction than you do... (LOL)

...If you are perfectly happy going to the movies by yourself.

-You might be an Aspie if spending time with yourself is your idea of appropriate social interaction...

-You may be one if your idea of a friday night is enjoying a book big and heavy enough to be classified as a weapon.


And finally... you might be an Aspie if you think cutting and pasting from 5 year old posts is a good use of your time !

You fail at everything.

Its also true . . . i could never tell what that "thud thud thud" was in my ear while trying to sleep at night.

YMBAA if

a pencil rolls off the end of your desk and just from the sound it makes on the carpet you know immediately which one.

you can't ever remember being bored.

people think you're thoughtful because you always look after the children at parties, but it's really because talking to their parents wears you out.

Both apply to me, I prefer to babysit than party. Kids love it when I watch them because apparently I am fun, and I love watching them because I can relate to them easier than people my age. Adults are okay, but only when I am not tired.

You have your head buried in the wonderful world of the Internet, all day.

YMBAA

...if you can instantly pick out which fluorescent light in a room needs to be adjusted or changed--so it can stop buzzing while no one else can hear it.

....if you go to the mall and head straight for the bookstore, then the video game store, then the pet store, sparing not even a glance to the 400 places in between.

...if you come home and spend 4 hours playing with, petting and talking to your cat after spending less then 30 seconds talking to the other kids in school.

I'm new to this forum, so correct me if the stuff I mention isn't Aspie-ish.

YMBAAI...

...you're just about to put toothpaste on your toothbrush, then stop when you notice the toothbrush is already wet. And after realizing that you've got the taste of toothpaste in your mouth already, you conclude that you must have already brushed your teeth a minute ago, so you stop.

...you get mildly annoyed if someone interrupts your daydreams

...while riding up the ski lift with your mom, you complain about the lactic acid in your legs.

...you're always the best in your class when it comes to memorizing stuff. The class spends weeks slowly memorizing a poem together, but you already know it by heart after like two sessions, when the others know maybe three lines. And you can still recite some poems you memorized years ago.

...you know not only your own lines, but everyone else's at a school play, and you can correct them.

Bonus points if everyone in the class is required to recite a poem, and in order to bring yourself to speak in front of everyone, you memorize the most offbeat poem you can find. (In my case, it was Michael Bishop's For the Lady of a Physicist, a love poem from the POV of a black hole; my father used to tell the story of his recitation of Robert W. Service's The Cremation of Sam McGee in third grade, concluding with the part where Dad's mother was called to the school to discuss his - er - issues.)

You've just found out that neighbor to where you are working has an eight year old autistic child.
You tell them that is brilliant news and enthusiastically explore the child's special interests with them. You wonder afterwards if they were being polite in their responses to your enthusiasm.

Oh yeah, forgot one:

...if an alien in a science fiction book or movie describes the peculiar habits of the human race, and you actually learn something from him.

YMBAAI...

...Facebook suggests that you friend your professors and department secretary, but not your peers.

...you move to another city and are more upset to leave behind your houseplants than to leave your "friends."