Acting as an intermediary between AS and NT

Page 1 of 1 [ 5 posts ] 

homo_aspien
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 18 Oct 2009
Age: 72
Gender: Male
Posts: 34
Location: ?over the rainbow

04 Apr 2010, 3:02 am

Alright, I’m nearly 60 so I’ve had plenty of time to get my head around how Neurotypicals work (possibly because for a long time I thought that was the norm I was supposed to aspire to).
But since being diagnosed five years ago, and more recently through interacting with other Aspies through support groups and social outings, I’ve come to realise that I’m able to act as a bridge between the two groups.
Basically I ask each party what they want and then ask the other party how they interpret that request. Then I try to point out to each how they can refine the request so that it is more easily understood. Often I find that I already know where the misunderstanding will be before asking the questions but I ask them anyway.
Recently a work colleague who has a 13-year old son with Aspergers complained that when he tells his son to have a shower the boy just turns on the water and stands under it with no attempt to wash, lather, or shampoo.
It took me a while to get him to understand that a shower was a physical object that sprays out water when you turn a tap and performing that action could constitute taking a shower.
I suggested that the next time he told his son to take a shower he should also suggest that he wash himself with a flannel and soap, as well as shampooing his hair while he was under the water. Guess what happened?
Does anyone else here have the ability to act as an intermediary between Aspies and NTs?


_________________
Gee each owe tea eye smells fish.


Willard
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Mar 2008
Age: 65
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,647

04 Apr 2010, 2:33 pm

homo_aspien wrote:
Recently a work colleague who has a 13-year old son with Aspergers complained that when he tells his son to have a shower the boy just turns on the water and stands under it with no attempt to wash, lather, or shampoo.
It took me a while to get him to understand that a shower was a physical object that sprays out water when you turn a tap and performing that action could constitute taking a shower.
I suggested that the next time he told his son to take a shower he should also suggest that he wash himself with a flannel and soap, as well as shampooing his hair while he was under the water. Guess what happened?


:lmao:

Quote:
March Hare: …Then you should say what you mean.
Alice: I do; at least - at least I mean what I say -- that's the same thing, you know.
Hatter: Not the same thing a bit! Why, you might just as well say that, 'I see what I eat' is the same as 'I eat what I see'!
March Hare: You might just as well say, that "I like what I get" is the same thing as "I get what I like"!
The Dormouse: You might just as well say, that "I breathe when I sleep" is the same thing as "I sleep when I breathe"!


I swear, sometimes I think neurotypicals never read anything other than what they're forced to read for class. If they do, it doesn't sink in. I read this Alice scene when I was a second-grader and It was seared into my memory forever after - probably because it was just the sort of situation that, as an Aspie kid, I ran into every day of my life - people never say what they actually mean. And yet we're the ones they call 'impaired'. Nonverbal cues, my @ss - that's just an excuse for overgeneralizing, which is lazy thinking. :roll:

But yes, at my age, I've learned this lesson the hard way over many years, so I can generally intuit what the NTs intend, even when that's not precisely what they said.



millie
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 25 Oct 2008
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,154

04 Apr 2010, 3:20 pm

I can act as an intermediary for others...but I cannot act as my own intermediary.........in the same way Dr.House does...and doesn't.



CockneyRebel
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Jul 2004
Age: 50
Gender: Male
Posts: 116,877
Location: In my little Olympic World of peace and love

04 Apr 2010, 5:50 pm

I did that for years, and I crashed and couldn't do it, anymore.


_________________
The Family Enigma


ursaminor
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Nov 2009
Age: 158
Gender: Male
Posts: 936
Location: Leiden, Netherlands

04 Apr 2010, 7:21 pm

If I do not inhibit myself, my posts will be ridden with metaphors that make sense to me and lots of slang and internet language.