intellectual versus social snobs

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I'm relatively new to the diagnosis of Asperger's. Over the years, I've noticed that some people will eventually lose patience with me socially which of course stands to reason. What I've begun to notice is my own impatience with others when it comes to intellectual function. I do not mean or want to be an intellectual "snob". I do not want to exclude others on the basis of intellect any more than I want folks to exclude on the basis of my social ineptitude. Do you all know what I mean?

Yes, and the very act of attempting to be inclusive is treated as snobbery by others. Or maybe others were being social snobs in response to my attempts to be intellectually inclusive. .

I've been told that what people like, is similarity. Being too far on either side of the bell curve in any aspect is seen as a negative thing because it makes one dissimilar.

Last edited by sgrannel on 07 Apr 2010, 10:56 am, edited 1 time in total.

Yes, I know exactly what you mean. I would classify myself as an intellectual snob in that I won't try hard to talk to people who don't have the same intellect as myself. For me, it is a case of that person not being able to talk about the things I want to talk about at the level I want to discuss them and I don't really want to talk to them about things I'm not interest in like fashion or the latest celebrity gossip.
This is probably a bad thing, but honestly, I don't really care.

I feel the same. I tend to come across as a snob because I don't sprinkle what I say with slang and I pay attention to what people are actually saying. Most people don't seem to like that - they want to express their personalities not their views.

Tried acting stupid to fit in. Don't bother. They see through it and become suspicious. Best just being up front, turn it into something humorous when you can.

True, I was considered too nerdy to hang out with. But most of the people I am comfortable with are good students/ have great perception and seriousness. Even if we discuss rubbish.

i totally can relate to most of you on this one. i find it even harder to engage with people who are not on a similar intellectual level as me - that's not to say that i think i am particularly bright. perhaps this is down to the fact that i do not quite know how to enjoy doing small talks. the trouble with this is that although i prefer talking to highly intellectual and articulate people, i get a feeling that they probably think that i am not on their league.

I know what you mean all too well. I spent all my pre-kid years being an intellectual snob. Like so many other intellectual snobs, I saw it as very close to being a virtue rather than a vice. And it's hard to get rid of something you deep down believe is a virtue. You are a lot farther along towards getting rid of that snobbery than I ever was pre-kid. So good!

What changed me was having a daughter who scored very low on an IQ test. She may or may not be ret*d. It's very hard for me to tell. Through great internal struggle I have come to a point where I no longer try to tell if she is or not and see that entire concept as a damaged way to look at people. But it wasn't until she was part of my life that I was able to abandon the intellectual snobbery because suddenly it would be applied to her and that really hurt.

Seeing it as vice rather than virtue is halfway to jettisoning it. Good for you if you can jettison it without the rather dramatic wake up call of a child who may have an intellectual disability.

By the way, the posts of Callista are required reading if you really want to put intellectual snobbery in perspective. She has written many that touch on the subject and I've hungrily read them all.

i have long dreaded snobbery of any stripe, social, intellectual or whatnot. i've always admired people who were intelligent as well as "friendly to all, familiar with some and a stranger to none." everybody has something that somebody else could learn from, nobody is above this. we're all in this thing [life on earth] together, and if we make ghettos for ourselves to wall ourselves off from everybody dissimilar to us, then we are all the poorer for it.
just the same, i'm just as much of a hypocrite on this subject as the next fellow, in that i avoid mean people - that is my weakness that i haven't been able to find a bridge of common ground for these folk.

when i want to learn something i go to the internet or read books/research papers. i often find lots of my fellow phds to be very 0d or 1d people unable to envision things far from their very narrow field. i can talk to them in regard with job and details how to get a job or what is the situation with hiring and such but that is all.
people from school that i spent time with were very diverse from low iq to high iq but they were all far from a standard stereotype and strong enough to retain their individuality.

yes I do know what you mean. But what better reason is there to exclude and reject others?

ruveyn