bipolar and AS

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Ah! Just one more Please, Please?

Yummmy --- UFO - As-BURGERS "Hold the onions please"

(LOL) Malcolm.

Couldn't help it, Ok lets get back on the subject!

Going back to answer the OP:

It is probably safe to say I AM bipolar type II. They never gave a proper diagnose for the chronic depression that I suffer from. When you are ill you don't really ask any questions. You just want the doctors to fix your problem. The disorder runs in my family on dads side so it is pretty safe to assume that I have it. How else is it possible to feel suicidal and hopeless one minute and just fine or ok the next? All within a 24 hour period.. I truly hate this condition for it pretty much makes me unable to think objectively or clearly. In fact everything I do or say is probably colored by it to some extent.

If it weren't for this illness I would be holding a job or be studying something interesting right now. But looking back at the past couple of years that is unlikely to happen anytime soon. These disorders do infact happen to ruin what could have been good and productive lifes.

If any of the above makes me sound like a real psycho, then you've probably got the right impression.

It's not made up. Its a real disorder, my brother has it.

Yeah Seasonal Affective Disorder isn't made up. My dad said a bunch of people where he works went to either drs or psychs and got diagnosed with it. So the company had to buy everyone that complained happy lights. Or that's the nickname they coined for them. Its some special light spectrum that comes in expensive bulbs or you can get a very expensive lamp. Apparently their offices are dark like caves (or dungeons).

If it doesn't freakin quit snowing here I'm going to get Seasonal Affective Disorder. Or more like Snow & Ice Defective Disorder.

Nirrr! (my mad sound) That was possibly a joke relating to climate change which is good in joking-form, but I also wondered about the amazingness of being depressed in the Winter and manic in the Summer then I found out it's like Seasonal Affective "Disorder" in bipolar or it seems like it. (I say amazingness because I love the amazing variety of lower moods except for around 3 of them and the up moods are also amazing.) I luckily do get mildly depressed around January/February(s) and luckily hypo/manic around Summers. "When you think about it" my mood went up the last few days and it was sunny lately. I'm glad it's not all covered over from medication. I'm on a good amount. I love knowing my bipolar like how I love being autie. I wouldn't want either one gone. They're both amazing in my experience.

Since this has been revived...

I've been diagnosed Bipolar I and I've been hospitalized for it. I don't doubt that diagnosis, though it's mostly under control with medication. It emerged when I was 24 and I've had both manic episodes and depressive episodes. I disagree that the up moods are amazing. They're pretty destructive, however "fun" they might be. And the depressions are hell. I'm glad it's under control for me right now.

I suspect that I also have AS, however. The bipolar didn't emerge until I was 24 and I had a lot of AS symptoms from childhood.

If I could give up the bipolar I would, as long as it didn't affect my musicality. If I have AS I'm more inclined to just accept that as part of myself.

That's good for you to be how you could probably accept being, but even though mania could be destructive that doesn't take away from the amazing part(s). I was lucky enough to find out when I was 23 when I went to the fifth floor of the hospital. There were things like anxiety and the no-memory part of psychosis in mania, but I still love hypo/mania. I'm on medicine so it's not fully there, but at least I can still tell if I'm hypo/manic or slightly/moderately depressed and enjoy it 99.999%. That's my point of view. It's like I'm the only one who likes it including the down side. It does have some "bad" and bad things, but for me not enough to outweigh the good like the amazingness of autism/Asperger's Syndrome.

I am glad you responded. I just found the forum today. To me Abilify was too stabilizing. It's like losing a part of yourself like if they made medicine "for" I mean against autism it would take away symptoms and lose that part of the self. Actually Geodon made it where I wouldn't rock or stim with fur or be excited and other bad side-affects and it wasn't even planned to relate to autism. Lithium is the best one for me. Even though we have different oppinions I hope you're on a medicine that is good for you. :-)

I can accept differing opinions and I'm glad you find enjoyment. Seems like a much better place to be in.

Seroquel, Risperdal and Wellbutrin is the combo they have me on and it seems to be effective. I haven't noticed a reduction in Aspie behaviour while on them, but for a little while I was on Ativan which helped with the anxiety. Too addicting, though.

I've been diagnosed with AS since age seven but I suspect I could have bipolar as well. I've never had a truely manic spell where I thought I could jump out of a window and fly but then I've never been able to feel true happiness either.

Hi, Dots and others. I was first on Geodon (bad) and Lithium at the same time after trying out different stuff. After that I luckily went on Seroquel. I didn't like the weight gain though and it gave me weird not-even-a-half-second long fear attacks. I liked the hallucination that came with those even though one of them was a bug when I reached to put a CD in or take one out of my CD player. It really felt like it was there and it even flew twards the middle of the room. I like thinking about those after they happen, but there were other weird things. I went to Abilify which was way too stabilizing. When I was sad and I hoped the mood would lower it wouldn't and I couldn't even be hypo/manic. Seroquel didn't ruin autistic things for me either. I'm glad it didn't for you. Now I'm on just Lithium. Possibly before or when I was switching to Abilify I was on Clanazopam (not sure of spelling) which wasn't that anxiety ridding. I'm finally on Lorazopam and Lithium.

I know the feeling when manic jumping off of something only it was the bed. Since I was mentally on the astral plane (psychotic) I tried to jump-float which I usually only do out-of-body. It has a weird dreamy feeling to it and delusions and stuff. :-)

The weird thing is the hospital I went to and stayed in actually thought I wasn't autistic/aspie just because I showed love for my Mom. That's an old theory thing, to me, even in 2005. I thought they didn't think that anymore. There in 2008 I guess they actually know now. Finally! lol

Bipolar isn't just feeling up and down, there are behaviours that go along with it. For example, in the past when I've been "up" I've thought I was saving the world, spent thousands of pounds I don't have, suddenly ditched everything and gone abroad, started courses that went well to begin with, but I couldn't keep up, etc. Those were "good" highs, but I'm still dealing with the really horrid and embarrassing consequences. Because although I enjoyed them at the start, they rapidly went wrong.

When a manic phase has got even more extreme than that I've thought that I was being tracked by aliens via an implant behind my right ear (that one only lasted about a month, I've never had a recurrence of that particular delusion), on other occasions I've seen ghosts, demons, angels, that nobody else could see... I've also had an urge to stay up for days on end working on massive projects (some of which were very successful I have to say) and I've had other delusions I'm too embarrassed to share. I should also point out that if I didn't have a very strong monogamous principle, I could have got into a lot of trouble with sex. As it was, I used to occasionally wear my husband out by demanding it many times a day for days on end. I'd get aggressive and tearful when he couldn't keep up with my demands, because I felt like if I didn't have it I would die.

Depressive episodes on the other hand have left me so bad I couldn't get of the bed except to pee for days on end. Forget about eating. If someone worried enough about me to check I was eating, I'd just eat what was in front of me like a robot, even if it was far too much, but sometimes I'd be too tired to eat, and wouldn't eat for days on end. At these times I've had constant voices in my head telling me how useless I am, how the world would be better off without me, and sleep was my only escape... sometimes for almost twenty hours a day. The only reason I haven't killed myself in recent depressive episodes is that I'm afraid I'd go to hell, and things would be even worse, and I couldn't put my son through that. I've attempted suicide a few times, and fortunately it never worked, but I don't know for certain that I'll never try again.

Between mania and depression I do have long periods of "normal" when I can function reasonably well. And the medicine I'm on now seems to be working.

So while Seasonal Affective Disorder is very bad, it's not bipolarity. I certainly wouldn't wish this condition on anyone.

Another thing I should add... I've forgotten how many times I've been arrested while on a manic high, everything from shoplifting to assault pc.

I've been diagnosed Bipolar I. I suspect I have AS. I was on respiradal, abilify, and several others. Am now on Geodon for my Bipolar. The medicine doesn't affect my AS. I have trouble with a lot of things that I can't explain by my Bipolar Disorder. I had my first bout with Bipolar when I was 35 or so. Hospitalized 20 years later for Depression. (Bipolar) I had AS things when I was growing up but nobody noticed them. I have learned to make eye contact enough to get along and appear normal. I still get fooled by somethings. Most people don't deliberately do things though. I get diagnosed as AS by a lot of people.