Aspie-B wrote:
So I just wonder if people think, accuse, or indicate, that you are on drugs?
Parents seemed to think I was once and a while. I'd be questioned and my answer was always a no. I didn't actually understand what "drugs," were beyond something I had swallowed or smoked that was not from the fridge
Lying was a concept that didn't make sense to me for quite a while, and there was some magic moment born from numerous times of accusation and in fact was not responsible or aware of what they were interrogating me about.
Whoa, you just helped me trigger some clarity on some s**t from the past (this happens times to time, especially with LSD as it's always with such intent and set and setting all geared in that direction)! I had some of these pieces, a few more just manifested and fell in like puzzle pieces.
So, here's what I think is close enough to your topic and question:
I know there were other times from middle school that teachers/staff/etc did that accusation that I was on somethin, which to note was not true. My father was a boozer at times and surely that assisted to have me conclude it's yucky and no want to be like what didn't seem very nice (trying to pull the description from then btw) or even fun. I do recall refusing to even take vitamins up till a point and it was obviously a side effect of all that being accused of being high or a touch drunk. Yet again, not sure when exactly, perhaps 19-20, my little brain had processed some information or had some mini-epiphany that slowly broke that repulsive and world ending "
just say no to drugs" mentality. That's a possible example of the Aspergery literal/absolute taking that slogan to a logical conclusion, once "drugs," is understood to overall mean near everything out there
The one specific memory that remains (god damn s**t memory when it comes to recall of most child-teen bits) fairly clear was coming home and being accused of stealing some item (can't remember what) from my sisters room. I stated that I didn't do it - Them unaware I was absent from the house for however long it was kids play kickball for a couple games (haha no idea how to even play now or if there were teams or what!) worth.
What I have is a kind of recall on a few of these times not visually or anything except my body language/emotions during my responses. It turned into where I already could detect they were about to accuse me of something... I would start to feel odd, perhaps a very slight tingle (I'd wager anxiety/stress type crap) and this realization nothing I could say would make any difference - That started to become the formula passing through my mind and it caused me to become very giggly and uneasy, which then made any eye contact utterly overwhelming and it'd work to trigger more laughing fits while in the head having the child mind then take the sense of SELF/I, trapped it in the head so to speak and then whammo --- Whatever oddity that brought me to find it odd that one would lie to parents or pretty much anyone was being drained of the dominance to become just another voice of self and controllable and silenced.
If the above seems to hold continuity for a day or two, it should be accurate enough that it's not false memory creation (they tend to go blurry and not hold enough mental imagery to connect to other parts). weee.
Kitten POWER!
P.S. LSD (correct dose range in mind) does many things, and one of them is take my already near visual only thinking, amp the resolution, bring visual thoughts at least 70% closer to what is experienced within the mind as sight within (i.e. activating another stream of conscious thought to be experienced rather close to what we are experiencing now and this is where those who freak out and fight against their own brain can run into issues. I felt the need to add this just to clarify that those LSD experiences first are: Crystal clear and most remember it all, and sometimes even with more accuracy than in the ordinary state experience they experience
Hmm. It's rare that people take the time to read up on this, yet, just in case an easy to digest book:
LSD, Spirituality, and the Creative Process: Based on the Groundbreaking Research of Oscar Janiger, M.D
Fck spirituality to be frank, perhaps the nonmetaphysical version or something... anyways