Do other folks pander/talk down to you?

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I was recently watching one of the Nostalgia Critic's latest videos, and he talked about how the movie so badly talked down to children, with half the pandering alone.

the movie was in fact so bad that I couldn't stop thinking about it while at work; then something hit me: people used to talk to me like that all the time.

In fact, they still do overall.

Do you get pandered to a lot? I know I certainly do; it's one of many reasons I just stop trying to talk to people a lot.....they start pandering to me, and it's really insulting to my intelligence.

^^Greetings TheDoctor82.

I am very sorry as I believe I often may not detect if humans are carrying this out towards me. However, I believe my happy sister informs me that may happy humans believe I am not very clever as I often enjoy looking around when sitting. I am sure this is not of their fault however and perhaps they certainly wish to be caring and nice also.

When I went to vocational rehabilitation to see if they could help me, the psychologist was very patronizing, at least at first.

He was going to give me some tests and handed me a pencil. It was purple with iridescent planets and stars all over it. I said, "what a pretty pencil." He said, "yes, it's a magic pencil that will help you get all the right answers." He used the voice people use when they talk to four-year-olds. I mean it was majorly obviously patronizing; even I recognized it as patronizing!

Then I had to do a test section where every numeral from 0 to 9 had a matching symbol and I had to fill all the numbers in on a big grid of symbols. So he turned on his stopwatch and I filled in all the numbers and then put the pencil down on the table with a little click. He stared at the grid, then stared at me, then stared at the grid, then realized what was happening and turned off the stopwatch.

In a voice of quiet awe, he said, "I've never seen anyone finish that section before the time runs out."

And he didn't use his patronizing voice with me even once again.

I'm also very anxious and depressed, so I'm used to a negative reaction in social situations - the person simply assumes whatever they want about me (I'm rude, inconsiderate, unworthy etc.) and treats me just however they feel like, because they've realised I can't really defend myself without turning into the bad guy. This (purposefully excluding someone from the group because of their arbitrary differences) is just standard human behaviour, so I usually just tolerate it.

Once I calmly informed someone that he was being condescending by pointing out all my flaws in public, and got the reply back "Dude, do you know what condescending *means*?" Yes, actually! I mean, you can't convince them out of their condescension, or if you can, it's hard to counter that first impression.. unless you have a magic pencil, I guess.

I've been pandered by my job placement officer, in college, when my class was talking about setting up interviews. She looked at me, and said the way that a person would say to a 4 year old, "What that woman on the phone had, was an accent." I said to her, "I know what an accent is. I have one, myself! What if you both have an accent?" She said in a normal tone, "Than you both have to be patient, with each other." I really took her, by surprise.

I find that if most people are not patronising then they are abusive. If they are not abusive then they are condescending. I can't stand it and the vitriolic hatred for showing independent thought is most annoying. I find that most neurotypicals are very condescending and also very antagonistic.

I find this to be the case, especially in hospital situations.

I'd like to answer this on behalf of my kids as well as myself.

Because of my ADHD and not finding or treating it until later in life I never really pursued some of the academic options that would probably have best suited me. I find myself often being grossly underestimated because of this, and this leads to various problems. I've had bosses who were substantially less able to do their jobs than I am, and that's led to a lot of internal conflict. In my experience it's best to just let them make a mess out of their job than to try to help them do it well because they often will just resent you for understanding their work better than they do, especially if they have more letters after their name than you do.

I run into this with my kids as well. Just because they may do some odd stuff, and won't make eye contact people sometimes assume they aren't paying attention or aren't very smart. They can see they are different and equate this with having a disability, which automatically means impaired intelligence. None of my kids have impaired intelligence, except for Eldest and that's only on one subset, his overall IQ is still about 120, which is fine. The other two are exceptionally gifted (one falls into the highly giftd range and one into profoundly gifted). Despite this people will talk down to them because they percieve them as "disabled."

There are so many kinds of intelligence, and so many people who have moderate IQs but other strengths and just don't realize how smart they are because the world just ignores them. I'm on a mission to see intelligence in everyone and help them see it too.

I'm grinning so much I may sprain my face.