"fake aspies" and self diagnosis. DISLIKE, sorry.

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I've never seen someone pretending to be autistic. Some here claim they have. But, how do I know whether those people have really seen that, or if it's a case of "they aren't like me, so they aren't autistic". I really have no basis to believe the "not autistic" judgment that some people here are making on others.

And, yeah, self diagnosis and pretending to be aspie are two different things. I guess I can see why the original poster conflated the two. Both are people who say they have it, but don't have an official diagnosis. Similar from the outside. But, from the inside, one is someone who honestly thinks they have it, the other is a person BS saying it for kicks, or whatever. Which, personally, I find hart to imagine. I can imagine a person joking around about it. But, not a person doing it, expecting to be believed, but at the same time being so definitely, definitively, not aspie that we know they are bullshitting.

Until we have failsafe systems in place that correctly identify all persons with autism from an early age, we have to accept that there are many, many genuine cases out there that do not have a diagnosis.

My daughter was officially diagnosed at 16. Does that mean that she wasn't autistic at 10? What about my nephew? He is also 16. He goes to a special school because he is the same as my daughter except much worse., yet he has still has no diagnosis.

And what about me? The reason my daughter got her diagnosis is because I could explain so well what difficulties she was experiencing and how she thought and processed stuff. I could do this because she is a mini-me. When I was her age I was EXACTLY the same as her but I've had 40 years to find ways to overcome the difficulties.

E.G. Nobody thinks I have Asperger's because I have backwards and forwards conversations with them, something my daughter can't do very well. What they don't realise is that this is because I have taught myself to do it and that the whole time I am speaking to them I am coaching myself in my head. "Look at their face and nod occassionally to look like you're listening." "Now ask them something about what they just said." "Say something related. Not too much. Stop. Take a breath. STOP!! ! Let them speak." And so on, it's exhausting.

Or because I have a few friends, whereas my daughter doesn't. Again, at her age I didn't either as I didn't have the skills. Now I have a desk diary and I have to write down a 'to-do' list for making friends. As soon as I've had coffee with a friend I write in my diary the day I need to make contact with them again, otherwise I wouldn't bother, and I write down everything important that they have said that I need to remember for next time. "Ask how the hospital appointment went." "See if the project is still fun." etc. If it isn't written down it doesn't exist.

And in all my years I have never, ever rung anyone just to chat. Not even my mother.

Surely the real issue here is not whether people are self-diagnosing, but what they are actually doing with their self-proclaimed Aspergers. If people are going round being rude and then saying 'Gee, I can't help it - I have Aspergers', then that is annoying and wrong regardless of whether or not they have a diagnosis.

I have a diagnosis, but I still take responsibility for my actions. If I am being rude, albeit unintentionally, I want people to tell me, so that I can learn and adjust my behaviour. Having Aspergers makes social interaction harder, but it doesn't mean that I'm incapable of learning from my mistakes, or adapting to make social interaction easier. I just learn in a different way - through intellect and observation rather than natural instinct.

If people are self-diagnosed and are using this self-understanding to learn about Aspergers and how to adjust their behaviour to make life easier for themselves and for those around them, and to find strategies to succeed in whatever they are doing, then that is a great thing.

To me, understanding that I have Aspergers means that I can read specific books, articles and research about Aspergers to understand myself better, to learn about strategies that others have used successfully. Self understanding (whether through official diagnosis or self diagnosis) can lead to finding appropriate resources to better take responsibility for one's life, and to succeed in what one is doing. For me this has been the case both when I was self diagnosed and now that I have an official diagnosis.

I was talking more about in school where you learn subjects like reading and math. Even learning different than everyone else is also considered a learning disability because you need extra help in school so you can learn and do your school work and you need work accommodations.

But learning disabilities can also mean anger issues, social issues, cognitive issues, attention problems, communication issues.

So technically autism is a learning disability and so is ADHD, and mental retardation. But autism doesn't cause spelling issues unless they have a condition that causes it or the are just illiterate because they never learned to read or write well.

I've noticed how "I can't help it" is a cop out for not working on their behavior or taking responsibility. Even parents say it on their kids because they don't want to do their job as a parent or be the bad guys. Even people say it about special need kids and they don't want to bother controlling them or trying to teach them.

Ah

Thanks for clearing that up for me.

Wow, that was very helpful to me. It's never occurred to me to do that. Thanks!

Awww, it's ok, SilverWolf. I think I know what you mean.

ConspirASy topic

You just never know...AS DXs might be managed by some high finance syndicate, which offers under-the-table kickbacks to medical professionals who can provide proof of having diagnosed a certain number of AS "cases" within a specific time frame.

You never hear about this, as people might find out they are fake aspies, despite having a verifiable paper diagnosis. This is certainly more lucrative than the populace going aroound diagnosing itself.

Last edited by sartresue on 13 Jun 2010, 10:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

I find terminology differs depending on your country. In the UK, 'learning disabilities' specifically means having a significantly low IQ so that you can't function independently without support. In the US, I believe 'learning disabilities' means what we call specific learning disabilities - things like dyslexia (and AS) which can affect your ability to access the school curriculum. In the UK, AS is classed as a 'developmental disorder' as the general term, but specifically with regard to school/university, it would be a specific learning difficulty.

i just know that people were worried about me from when i was a baby, and they wanted to know if i had a nervous system problem,
i fell through peoples arms like a dead weight and they thought i may be paralyzed in some way.

my eyes could not stay still and i could not look at people in a level gaze and so it was a worry for my parents.

i was assessed and they said i had autism when i was very young.

you can not live a life where no one notices a problem with you if you are autistic, and it seems unbelievable to me that someone can read a pamphlet that resolves their life's questions at 20 something years of age.

all through my youngest years i posed a major problem to the main stream school system, and it is impossible that i would never have been noticed as someone who needed to be placed in an alternative situation,

You say you were a worry to your parents. This implies that your parents cared about you and took responsible action. From what you say, it seems also that the health authorities paid attention, and were aware of autism as a condition.

With many of the older generation of people on the spectrum, people may have noticed a problem but lack of awareness and understanding, and sometimes lack of parental care as well, means that the problem was seen as the child being bad. Or the parents may have been ashamed, seeing the 'problem' as stigmatising, and trying to beat it out of the child, or hide the child. Values and understanding and awareness change over time, and today society is a lot more accepting and understanding of disability than it was in the past.

In my situation, I was noticed plenty of times as a problem and someone who needed to be placed in an alternative situation, but when that happened, my parents moved house to escape the situation. My mother was neglectful and abusive, with problems of her own, and as far as she was concerned, I was a problem child who was naughty. She did not want anything looked into further, because, like any abusive parent, she was afraid her own abuse would be exposed. My father worked long hours and lived in a lot of denial - he wanted to see his children as successful and 'normal' - he refused to believe it when my school advised that I needed to be put into a special school.

And then came the problematic fact that I have a very high IQ. I was sent to an educational psychologist, who tested my IQ and then declared that I was a gifted child and that my problem must simply be boredom, and a failure to understand that teachers are authority figures. Back then, if you had a high IQ, you were seen as okay!

Rather than judge others for not having had a diagnosis at an early age, an alternative perspective would be to be thankful for parents who were concerned, and health authorities who were aware of autism. An early diagnosis is a very fortunate thing to have.

Who says people didn't notice anything wrong with me? When I was in elementary school I was taken to a doctor because I had a cough that wouldn't go away. The doctor said that there was nothing physically wrong with me, but suggested that I was coughing because I had no friends. This was the 80s. We now know that a coughing tic is fairly common in people with autism, but they didn't know it then.

When I was 13 I was taken to two different psychologists because we had moved and I was having severe problems adjusting (I was suicidal at this time). This was in 1993. You think I was going to get an Asperger's diagnosis then?

Academically, I've never had any problems. The lowest grade that I ever got was a B, and that was fairly rare. I was mostly mute in school. I retreated into the world of fiction. This is very common for people with Asperger's, especially females. I just ended up being labeled shy. It was a problem for me, but I wasn't causing other people problems. My parents did their best for me, but it is impossible to get an official diagnosis when one doesn't exist.

Everyone's experiences are different. Just because they don't match yours exactly doesn't mean that they are invalid. You cannot tell just by reading a message board if they have autism.

I get what you're saying... but here's a point about the doctor diagnosing when someone is young...

I am now officially diagnosed with Aspergers, but for years I was considered OC. When I was younger my obsessive tendencies stood out more so than my social and sensory issues, though it was all there. My other problems were assumed to have stemmed from me being gifted...stupid assumptions. I grew up believing that my horrible interactions with others were my own fault, as in I just wasn't putting enough effort into making friends.

So yeah. I know from experience that possible 'fake aspies' can be overlooked by docs and such.

You're welcome.

Hello b9,
That was one of your particular expressions of autism. Not everyone will have the exact same symptoms. It's referred to as a "spectrum" for a reason.



As a baby, I stiffened when held, or pushed people away, including my mom. My tactile sensitivities were (and still are) quite strong. I had very little interest in people (things were an entirely different matter), although that wasn't strictly the case, i.e., I remember looking up to my siblings and wanting friends later on. I was mostly quiet about everything. Anyway, I'm not getting into everything about me as a child, because it could take all day and I don't want to bore. Trust me, they knew something was off. And so did I - painfully so.


Honestly, you don't know how lucky you are.



You have to try and imagine a different world entirely when speaking of older generations, including their parent's generation because that's who brought us up. Most people here will likely have Baby Boomer parents, born after WWII, or Gen X parents, raised in the 70's-80's (my gen). "The Lost Generation", born in the 1930's, is the tag given to my parents and their peers. They grew up during some really lean times and saw WWII (but were too young to fight it). They went from basic technology to what it is today. Totally different world and mindset. Their generation is made up of tough sons-a-bitches! And they expected their kids to be just as tough (and thrifty)! Their discipline style was authoritarian. As adults, they thought the younger and dominant Boomers were weak and "tsk tsk'ed" them for their "neediness". They always relied on themselves with no help from the government, and they didn't put as much faith in doctors or "disorders", and even if they did bring me to a doctor in the 70's, I might have come away with nothing or a "schizo-something" tag. "Aspies" growing up in my time were often misdiagnosed as on the schizophrenic spectrum. There was no "Asperger's".

A lot of families in Atlantic Canada (and elsewhere) at that time also took care of their own, including extended family members. If a family member wasn't, say, "marriage material" or employable, they'd just live at home until they died, and often no doctor was required to tell them what they already knew. I have an "odd" elderly 2nd cousin on my mom's side who lived with his mother until she died of old age, and as far as I know he still lives in the same house in the same tiny fishing village. It wasn't until the nuclear family structure got going that things changed, which is more or less a "Boomer" phenomenom, at least in these parts.

My mom thought I was on the schizophrenic spectrum, and told me as such. She was very blunt and "matter of fact". She isnt emotional, and was always somewhat aloof. She's intelligent, but also clueless. That's why she noticed my quirks (she had a little thing for psychology), but she didn't notice my older sister's physical deterioration over the course of a year until it was almost too late (when she slipped into a coma). So yeah, serious things can go unnoticed, not just autism.