Dr's appt on Monday... I have some questions

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Last week I was browsing You Tube videos while looking up mental illnesses (multiple personalities, etc --not to learn about myself but just as an interest) and I came across one on Asperger's that was just questions. A friend of a friend's son has Aspergers so I thought I would watch it just to see what it says and what this boy is like because I don't really know him to find out personally. Soooo.. I"m watching and I'm seeing these questions and I'm thinking... good god this sounds like me!!?? I watched more videos (this one in particular is the one that REALLY hit home you tube com /watch?v=e-iTLaN5nUM&feature=related The forum won't let me post a proper link until I've had 5 posts. sorry!)
I did a bunch more 'research' into it and starting making a list of things that I do or feel that aggervates me about myself and I compared myself to a bunch of different personality disorders that I came across and I feel like Aspergers fits me the best even though I do have traits of a bunch of other PD. (I kinda think that they are all a little intertwined with each other). I teared up with relief when I saw the similarities. I think if I have it it would be considered mild.
I'm rambling, I know. It's one of my faults. LOL
So getting to my point... I just have some questions I'm hoping you guys can answer for me before I start this whole diagnosis thing (and yes, I DO want a diagnosis because it will just explain soooo much about myself and what i've done in my life. I need to be able to make the "non-believers" in my family believers.) Rambling again...

-I should probably bring my list of 'ugly traits' with me to the appt. yes?
-Do I go to him and state that I think I have Aspergers?or that I am realizing that there's more than just clinical depression now and want to know what it is? I've ALWAYS blamed my problems on my Clinical depression (diagnosed 1996) but even on meds I still feel these things that are different about me. I blamed it on being the youngest of 5 and being coddled also and also just having my Dad's personality. He's passed away 2 years ago but after reading up on Aspergers I can almost bet he had it and was never diagnosed.)
-Do I tell him everything that I've found out and that I've compared my traits with a bunch of other PD's and that I fit best into Aspergers and that I am convinced it's this? Or should I just come across as knowing nothing and letting him figure it out. I have a good feeling he'll just tell me that there's no way I could diagnose myself so unless he finds something else that fits better than Aspergers I'm always going to believe that Aspergers is what I have. I"m stubborn that way.
-What do I do if he hears my symptoms and just says Nah, you're just exaggerating or over analyzing or over reacting? What if he won't even refer me to a psychiatrist.
-If that's the case, what type of mental health Dr can do the tests and would know the most about AS? Psychiatrist? therapist? Psychologist?
(I'm in Ontario, Canada)

I've been so completely absorbed (obsessed?) in this now that I have a name for 'myself' that I just want to know NOW!!

thanks so much for taking the time to read my rambling. I appreciate any light you can shed on this!

I'm SO glad I found this forum. I do feel like I belong.... although it takes me some time to feel comfy enough to really get into posting (that whole sucking at social things and small talk thing, ya know?) [b]

The same things can be positive too - for instance, obsessive attention to detail is useful in a lot of the work I do, and a pain socially. But yes, do take a list.

If you feel like some more data, you could try some of the diagnostic tests at http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt113459.html to learn more about yourself, and how your results compare. The AQ and EQ are particularly useful. The AspieQuiz isn't a diagnostic test, but does compare your results with the population results in a neat graphic.

One of the first places I went in this forum was there.

ALL of them tell me that I definately lean towards Asperger's.
Should I tell my Dr that? I'm just a little .... hmm.. embarassed maybe.... that he'll think I'm an idiot. I think because alot of people (family) make me feel that way when I'm in a situation somewhat like this. I have only told my mom that I'm even thinking I have it for fear of everyone saying "you're being stupid. there's no way you have AUTISM". My family has no experience with autism. They don't know.

I first went to see a therapist for depression and told her immediately that I also thought I might have AS, but didn't want to be a self-diagnosing Mental Health hypochondriac, and asked her to just put a note on my file and keep it in mind. When I brought it up again after a couple of months and asked what she thought she agreed that I fit the criteria to a tee and scheduled me to be tested by a psychologist. She did say that if I hadn't brought it up, she probably would not have thought to look for it.

I will tell you that 'mild' is kind of a relative term where AS is concerned, and that if you're right, and if this is something that you feel has set you apart all your life, it may be affecting you in more ways than you even currently realize. Wait until you've got that diagnosis in hand and have had a year or more to fully understand what Autism is and you may find the term 'mild' ironically amusing.

"Wait until you've got that diagnosis in hand and have had a year or more to fully understand what Autism is and you may find the term 'mild' ironically amusing. "

Very good point. But to the question, I was in probably a VERY similar situation to you pre-diagnosis. I read something somebody said on here which made me feel a lot better about myself whilst self diagnosing as it were, that the older you are, the more you'll feel inclined to prove yourself to your doctor whilst seeking [and wanting] diagnosis, which makes sense as the older you get, the less severe or hidden your symptoms become [the ease of overcoming symptoms varying greatly amongst aspies]. I'd say definately suggest aspergers to the Doctor.

With any hope the Doctor would refer you immediately to [in my case] a developmental psychology specialist. My GP, when I brought up aspergers with him simply said that everyone can carry aspergic traits of low to high severity and that it's not necessarily aspergers syndrome. GP's [general practitioners......same in Canada?] may lack knowledge on the subject so hold your ground if you believe there to be a lot more to it, as I did. So, in the case of him/her suggesting exaggeration, stand your ground and argue until they refer you.

People can be pig-ignorant towards aspergers. I have a mild version myself but pre diagnosis I had to handle flak from people telling me I definately didn't have aspergers because they've met people with it and I'm not at all like them blah blah blah blah blah... I also had a lot of people who were curious and open minded towards how it affected me, so bare in mind that these people exist aswell and do not be disheartened by the naysayers.

Good luck with it all, I hope you get referred, and to someone capable. You know yourself better than anyone else so If you've done the research and it still fits, you've got a great shot at it. I hope I've covered your questions as this has taken me bloody long enough. If you want to ask me anything feel free.

Hallelujah brother!


I think nearly all adults who are diagnosed later in life get the same sort of response from someone in their life. For me my Mom accepted it right away and sees traits in not only herself but she knows that my Grandfather was definitely an Aspie. I also have one child with Kanner Autism (first to be DX) and two with Asperger's and it was my husband who first pointed out that I may have it. I had one friend who told me that I needed to stop diagnosing myself and then was still against it when I did get a diagnosis. She is now more accepting of the idea and can see traits now that she just ignored before. I always knew there was something that separated me from everyone else and I was always searching for that answer or at least trying to find a way to jump over all these hurdles.
People may see us on the outside as mild but it is not so mild on the inside!

I would not tell my doctor that I found anything on the internet, because she absolutely hates self-diagnosers and hypochondriacs, who (in her opinion) are invariably wrong and mostly neurotic.

But I would do as much research as possible to get the issues and the right language clear in my mind. I sometimes take in a short checklist in pencil, because it is expensive to see the doctor and a waste to not get everything covered.

I've been obsessing about this whole thing so much that I can't sleep and my kids have ended up missing the bus 3x's this week because I slept in. When I obsess like that I HAVE to do something or I won't stop until I do so I called the dr's office today to see if I could get in today. Luckily they said I could. WHEW!! He asked me why I thought I had it ...thankfully I took my notes... and he just listened and then said I can 'let it go now' and to leave the rest up to him. I didn't get to tell him ALL my reasons I thought I have AS because it was a 'squeeze in' visit but at least he took me seriously. He said he would find me a psychiatrist. I asked him if it would be someone familiar with AS in adult/females and he said yes. He said it may take some time to find the right one though but I'm willing to wait!! He did say it could still be some kind of anxiety disorder too. So I'm off to do a little research on anxiety disorders now.

The wait begins... I'm nervous and hopeful to be able to put a name to whatever it is I have! Although I still firmly believe it's AS from the information I've found and from what others say in this forum.

If financially an option, the asperger's society of Ontario (link) has a good list of private practitioners specializing in diagnosing ASDs. The number who diagnose adults is low, there are a couple more I found in Ontario but not many.

even for private practice the soonest appointment you can get is about a month.

I went through a diagnostic test with one of the practitioners they suggested a couple of days ago and am waiting for a report, and would recommend it. It seemed like a thorough test, and it was their only speciality.

I got a tip from another member here. It's really a great to idea to read the experts. I found "The Complete Guide to Asperger's syndrome" by Tony Attwood to be incredibly enlightening and fascinating. The only way to really be objective about your own traits is to try to stick by the experts' perspective.


I found that really satisfying while I'm waiting to be able to see a specialist next month to see if my diagnosis should or can be updated.

Thanks Huntedman! I appreciate the info. I figure I'll wait and see what kind of diagnosis I get and if it suits me then that's fine, maybe I don't have AS but if they give me some kind of BS that really doesn't fit me then I would look into something like that. I"m thankful for the info on how to find a specialist because I really wasn't sure how to go about it.

For me a diagnosis is important just for my state of mind to know that it's really SOMETHING wrong with me not just me being me and there's not really a reason for any of it other than "having my Dad's personality" or from "being coddled as the youngest of 5 kids" or blaming it on my clinical depression. Apparently there's ALOT of undiagnosed mental illnesses on my Dad's side but I'll never be able to talk to them because the only one left is my aunt. My dad passed away 2 years ago. I need to know especially for my children so they aren't sitting there at 38 years old wondering wth is wrong with them like I am. I can at least diagnose myself to give them a head start if they or any of nieces and nephews kids show signs of whatever it is I have. It's only fair to arm them with valuable information instead of trudging through the rest or my life just getting by. If I understood why I am the way I am then I can help them to understand why I do the things I do. I'm not just a mean miserable 'ol mom. I just have some problems! If only my relatives and my Dad had done that then I'd at least have a clue right now.

That's a smart idea, Eon. I think I'll do the same!

I think that you should do what you think is right, for you.