Ways Girls May Mask ASD

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Yes. The statement I bolded applies so well to me as well (though I still haven't figured out what's happened....) and yet I appear to be perfectly ordinary.

When I first heard about the proposed changes in the DSM, I was hoping the new criteria would actually be more inclusive, recognisizing that autism is a spectrum. I hoped they would then include the whole spectrum, but no, it's just the opposite.

You may not be undiagnosable, though. I was able to get an assesment from an AS expert. (What good it will do me is another story, since I can't find a therapist I can afford who knows anything about AS.)

To someone who doesn't have a clue how to get a date at all, "easier" means "easy". A 0.5% chance of success still feels like a great chance if you don't get beyond 0% yourself.



I find tomboyishness and weirdness quite attractive in a woman and I'm sure many other men out there do. I wouldn't care too much about that if I were you. Just avoid coming off as selfish or boring. For me, those are the biggest turn-offs when it comes to Aspie women.



Almost all women are naturally drawn to so-called "bad boys" and will inevitably end up being physically or emotionally abused if they follow their instincts. Proper education can help reduce the naivity and make the girl more aware of the dangers all semi-decent to pretty women inevitably face... not just for girls with AS but girls in general. To make this an AS problem is to overlook a bigger more general problem that bothers both naieve women and decent guys (who - if they're lucky - end up with very insecure women who lost their confidence in men because of so-called "bad boys").

I have basically spent my life stumbling along. I can't say I'm successful as my preferred profession, is not what I'm doing to get by with a regular paycheck (customer service rep). Never really understanding social implications or what's expected of me. Also, people think just because I can carry on a conversation one on one, that I'm perfectly functional-this includes my husband. They haven't observed how things rapidly deteriorate when I am in a social group. I'm on my best behavior when I keep my mouth shut & just listen. I also do my best not to stim in front of others, though it's something I do when I'm tense. It's when I start talking that things go very wrong. It's not a new phenomenon, I've been like this forever. Unfortunately, shrinks & doctors don't observe me in social situations or at work, & don't know the anxieties & stress that I endure on a daily basis. Would that they'd follow subjects like some wildlife observers...then they'd get a really clear picture of the daily struggles.

I tend to take my camera everywhere. It's more than my security blanket, it;s also a way for me to stay functional. Besides I see photo ops pretty much every place I go. It's also what my dream job would be.

Hi Tomboy..

That's exactly why I started this petition.. so many of us can appear normal in some situations and fall apart in others. I don't think the professionals will do the work to see through the guise of competence unless they are prodded towards more awareness for the plight of girls with ASD.

i was (thankfully) in therapy when i self-diagnosed, and my therapist had already suspected it. although she hadn't treated anyone with AS before (let alone a woman) she was comfortable with me being very direct saying things like "this doesn't work," "that's an unanswerable question," and "what you just said is dismissive and not helpful" etc. i had meltdowns in her office and she said it was like walking around in a field of landmines. i was frustrated beyond belief and thought maybe i couldn't tolerate talk therapy at all but didn't know how else to get help. she adapted to my different style of communication and we are starting to work well together. also without even getting a diagnosis i am effectively getting treatment that addresses management of sensory issues, miscommunications and other related topics. (i don't know what else someone who is trained to work with Asperger patients would do?)

this is at a sliding scale clinic and my sessions are very cheap. i did not have to educate her about AS but we did have to figure out together how to communicate, and we are still figuring it out. the one thing that still frustrates me is she refuses the concept of "normal" so i can't just ask what a neurotypical would expect in a situation. she tries too hard to relate and sometimes misses the magnitude of what i am experiencing, which makes me angry. for example she'll say something like "everyone might get butterflies in their stomach before having to ask a question of someone they don't know" when i discuss anxieties about talking to other people. that's not even the same planet. it makes me angry.

but mostly it is a good thing and it's all i can afford. i'm lucky to have any help dealing with this at all.

yeah, people told me similar s**t when I was growing up; of course none of it ever worked....and I honestly believe they knew it wouldn't.

Call me cynical but...well, I am

I actually did a paper for a Women and Gender Studies course (I just graduated with a minor in such things) on how the current ASD diagnostic processes (how the criteria is evaluated and differentiated from other disorders) are inherently androcentric (male-oriented). I admittedly wish I had this thread when writing my relatively dry report. I only had 10 pages to work with when explaining ASDs to a NT that wanted to see more feminist rhetoric than a rant about the pseudo-scientific processes...but, all the same, this would have been fun stuff to share as part of a presentation.

On the personal experience dimensions...as a male, I won't pretend to know what it is like for females by using a female-vs-male comparison. To presume what I cannot experience or accurately observe is...dumb. Epically dumb.

However, I offer forth my sympathies all the same.

I have signed the petition.

Yes, it's a long time ago but that's exactly it. Only it doesn't stop at high school or ever, that I can see. Only by avoiding relationships entirely (maybe).

The problem with the new criteria is:

1. They require a person to have every social criterion instead of just some.

2. The communication criteria are gone. This means that people who qualify for a diagnosis now because of primarily communication issues, is going to lose out.

3. The diagnosis is moving even further away from the perceptual abd cognitive (rather than social) roots of autism than it already is. And is exalting the furthest outward signs over the reality underneath them (that can exist without every criterion being met).

4. In order to determine severity they use things like how often a person stims or how social they are. Things that can vary as much based on environment as on innate traits. Meanwhile they are totally ignoring things like how it affects life skills, understanding surroundings, movement difficulties (by which I mean apraxia-like ones rather than clumsiness or poor coordination although those things can be affected too).

5. It discounts people who can mask themselves socially but still have all the cognitive and perceptual and movement differences that lead many people to qualify by those criteria. And the social criteria have been based on misunderstandings since the time if Kanner.

I don't understand why some people are going "the criteria fit me so I don't see a problem". The criteria fit me too but they don't fit every autistic person and that is a problem.

i have never understood the focus on such specific social manifestations.
isn't autism at root a perceptual and cognitive difference?

whenever i read the social impairments section of DMV diagnostic criteria (old or new) i always think of Carly Fleischmann going to the mall and picking out lip gloss, or giggling when she types out to an interviewer (re: his son) "is he cute?"

are doctors unaware that people with autism are human beings?



right. exactly.

also electric_sheep:

if you have any interest in sharing the paper you mentioned, i would like to read it.

Same. I've never been on a date. And I'm almost 23. I don't have horrible social deficits, but I am naturally quirky/eccentric, and this doesn't make most guys want to romance you.

And I'm all for petitioning the DSM-V for this reason. And for many other reasons. The new DSM-V criteria is terrible, if you ask me. Girl Aspies like myself who fell through the cracks their whole life are just going to keep falling through the cracks...
-OddDuckNash99-

Thanks everyone for your support with this petition. It's up to 70 now!

Hopefully, this will help us fall through the cracks less.

My BF listened to a radio show last night on the DSM and autism, and the speaker basically said that the taskforce is still very open to amending the criteria, which surpised me and gave me hope.

I try to cover up my social awkwardness by being funny and laughing at myself. I often appear goofy/quirky and I notice this seems to attract guys at first because they say I am "fun". I also try to cover it by being super nice, that way people won't be so mad at me for being so weird.

However, when these guys (and other people) get to know me better and begin to see I'm not such a "fun" person and I have problems, they leave and forget all about me.

naw