Why is talking on the phone so difficult for us?

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Possibilities - central auditory processing disorder (CAPD)? Some persons with CAPD do better face to face because they can partially lip read which is not possible over the phone.

The thing with me is that it's not just on the phone, but talking in general I hate. I'm a visual thinker, and I absolutely hate the way my voice sounds, so communicating vocally is like hell for me. I stutter, say one thing when I mean the other, forget the right wording, etc.

On the phone, there's a compressed frequency range--the midrange is really all you get, and sounds lose their distinctiveness. And if you already don't process things all that well just by hearing, it's not going to do you any favors being on a phone. And cell phones are even worse.

I hear you about the lag time it takes to process. It helps me to have a script, or know the subject of the call beforehand. When I get calls where I don't know the subject ahead of time, it can take me FOREVER to "lock on."

In person, I'm actually pretty decent with accents and things people find difficult--I think it's because a) I have the full frequency range and I catch onto intonation patterns quickly and b) I can partially lipread. (I think I may fit pgd's description for CAPD in that regard.)

I always get worked up about phone calls, but only if I am the one making the call. When I worked at the deli I had no problems at all making a call.

At work, I didn't have a problem calling the customer to review over a change in order or to answer previously unanswered questions. I knew what info I had to provide.
However at home, it's different since I don't do business there, and I become very hesitant making calls over financial matters, chatting with people, etc. I cannot expect or predict how people react since I haven't done it previously.

I despise phone calls...it's even hard to talk to my wife on the phone. When I was young, my dad had a home business and when he wasn't home I would be forced to answer the business phone and take absolutely perfect messages or I'd be in trouble. I don't process speech very well so written communications have always been my preferred mode.

I also get distracted, both from non-verbal sounds from the other caller's end, as well as my environment. I really hate talking on the phone!! !

Why Do We Have Trouble Ordering A Take Away For E.g

Because We Wouldnt Just Walk Up To The Guy In The Pizza Place And Talk To Him So Why Should The Interaction Be Any Different On The Phone.

I completely agree with above posters saying that a script beforehand is helpful. I have to have a script before I call someone.

On the other hand, I had a lovely off-topic conversation with a Netflix employee when I called their company about a billing question and ended up getting a free month of service. Go, go Netflix!

I am quite literally terrified of the phone. I get extremely stressed at the sound of a phone ringing. Its really hard for me to understand people speaking on the phone.

EDIT: Fixed grammatical error ("when at", oversight)

Last edited by Free-Hinter-System on 20 Jul 2010, 3:59 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I process what people say about ten to thirty seconds after they say it, with longer times being linked to the less often I hear someone/their accent. My immediate family is the only ones I don't have that delay with.

I find the phone makes it harder to hear clearly, which delays my reaction even longer. I also have a much harder time because I rely quite heavily upon awkward smiles and shrugs, and people can't see those through a phone. I can concentrate on a wall when I'm talking to someone in person, and the distraction helps me, but I need to pay complete attention to the phone, which messes me up.

I hate talking on the phone because it takes up my time and I can't watch TV or listen to music if I am on the phone and I can't even do anything else like the internet and sometimes it's hard to hear what they are saying. I despise the phone.

This morning I had to use about 20 minutes of my free time making four phone calls because I had to schedule three appointments and talk to Social Security.

Only time I like talking on the phone is if it's to my parents. I plan them in.

Reasons I dislike the phone and only use it when necessary:

1.) The sound quality is terrible and I have difficulty understanding what the other person is saying. It's worse if I don't know the person and their speech quality, voice and accent. The sound quality is so terrible that I often don't even recognize the voices of family members right away.

2.) The handheld speaker so close to my ear bothers me and hurts my ear.

3.) I have great difficulty with auditory comprehension through a handheld when there are other sounds in the room. It can drive me mad. I have to cover my other ear; stick my finger in my other ear; or if I plan a call I have to go into a silent room by myself with the door shut.

4.) The lack of visual cues leads to my not knowing when to speak, so there is either talking over or awkward pauses.

5.) and this:

Thank heaven for answering machines and call display. One thing that really bothers me is someone else in the house answering a call that's for me when I'm not available (ie. doing something else) and then just blithely walking up with a phone receiver in hand, sticking it at me with a, "It's for you." and I have no clue who is on the other end of the line.

While just talking on the phone doesn't bother me, remembering later what was said is a problem. This, I believe, stems from an early problem speaking in which I would try to talk and listen and think at the same time. Eventually, I figured out how to talk on the fly, without over-analyzing what was being said. The trouble now is that when I speak on the phone, I occasionally tell people things that I'm not supposed to, except nobody told me not to. Also I have trouble remembering messages if I don't write them down right away.

I can't carry a social phone call, but I am great on the phone if it has a specific purpose.

I don't really hold genuine conversations over the phone, but I can usually get things done over the phone without a problem. I am really reluctant to call house phones though, I just find it awkward talking to family members of my friends...

Also apparently I sound really angry whenever I have to call a company (like the phone company or a pizza place). I'm not usually angry, I just tend to speak loudly and over-enunciate so I don't have repeat things.

Text messages are a godsend. I was so resistant to them at first, but they are so much better than talking on the phone.

One thing no one's mentioned yet is that many NT introverts hate talking on the phone. So for many of us, it could be only partially related to the AS.