Why are people so phony? Why do people mislead you?

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Everytime I think I found someone I can trust, they prove me wrong. People whom I know, they let me down. Why do people pretend to be interested in you? Why do they pretend to like you, say great things about you, but when you ask them to get a cup of coffee as a friend after work they either make up some horrible excuse not to, or agree to go only to not show up, or otherwise blow you off?

Then these are the same people who later ask "why dont you try to get to know people a little better? Socialize more?"...Umm...did you forget the last time I tried to socialize WITH YOU you blew me off?

I guess they mean I should try to socialzie with OTHER people because they of course, are too good for me. f*****g liars. f*****g phonies. I'm sick of this s**t. I wanna put a gun in my mouth and blow the f*****g trigger. I trust noone. NOONE. They are ALL f*****g liars.

I am my only friend and I will f*****g DIE ALONE but I'm not putting my heart into anyone anymore. People ENJOY hurting me. f**k this s**t.

I agree with you dood, I've had friends who had the same thing, coming up with some lame excuses and all that.

I think that you are making the wrong kind of friends because friends are suppose to help you out and hang out whenever they're free.
But not hanging out all of the time is just wrong, meaning that those people think of their image.

For example, people who don't have Asperger's don't want to be with someone who does have it because of their "condition".

If anyone would tell me to hang out and get something, I would alright with that. People who come up with a bunch of excuses are just jerks...

And please don't think that your life should be a gunshot or anything life-threatening because of some bad friends, you still the time and the courage to make more that will be with you.

Now you are displaying behavior typical of that of people with borderline personality disorder.

I suggest you calm yourself, stop making assumptions because you could very well be wrong and could end up making a fool of yourself or acting in a manner which you might regret.

Get all of the facts. Do not invent them.

Yeh it must just be a string of incredible coincidences that anytime I wanna hang with someone, they dont show up, or make a lame excuse not to.

Look I'm very frustrated and alone right now. Im not really interested in hearing about "the other side of the coin". Let me tell you the "facts"...people think Im a freak. They pretend to like me. They really DONT like me.

THE END.

I'm talking about the specific situation with your co-worker. Not every situation you have ever been in.

Johnny, I can relate. Just know that no matter how alone others may make you feel that you're not really alone. I know how the damned if you do, damned if you don't scenerios go.

It's perfectly okay to vent your frustrations. If the people who were treating you like that were treated the same way, guess how they would respond? The same way. Upset.

Yeah, unfortunately, some people find those kinds of mind games "amusing".
But sometimes they aren't doing it on purpose, some people are flakey, and unreliable, and "spontaneous".
If you know for sure that they are doing it for their own entertainment, forget about them completely.

Why don't you just ask her what happened?

Plastic people strike again. Dam!

I hate plastics.

I have taken to "testing" people before
I get to trust them one little pinch.

If I can't scare them off, then they are
worthy otherwise stuffem.

People do this because they don't want to hurt your feelings so they start making up exuses than telling you they realize you aren't right for them and they want to not see you anymore nor go out with you again.

When you first meet someone, you don't know them well so they may seem right and perfect but once you get to know them, you find things about them you don't like or you don't feel connected to them like it's working out.

It's all about not wanting to hurt your feelings and lot of people don't like confrontations so they lie. Some do it by not answering your phone calls or your emails or IM and they claim they have been too busy to chat and talk and they may also say they are too busy to go out with you. So they are hoping you get the hint and move onto someone else thinking they are too busy for you.

People are cowards.

That reminds me of this song off of their album Among The Living in 1987 by Anthrax titled "Imitation of Life"

There's nothing I hate more, than all these plastic people
With all their plastic promises, and all their plastic deals
They just can't be themselves, and live their own lives out
They're just an imitation of what life's all about

"Because of me you are who you are
So sign your name, and you'll go far
I'm your friend, I think you should
So sign your name, it's for your own good"
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU HEARD THIS TODAY ???

Some bogus piss-on saying "Let's do lunch babe"
For them this BS, it's their whole life
Cut through their BS with a knife
IMITATION OF LIFE

[BRIDGE ONE]
OOOOOOOOH, OOOOH, OH
ANGER BURNS
Whatever happened to the guy I knew
A media creation, a monster grew
Our story had an unhappy end
But this could change, I still call him friend

"Take my advice, listen to me
A great opportunity, can't you see
I only want what's best for you
The deal of a lifetime, what more can I do"
HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU HEARD THIS TODAY ???

Some stupid sucker says "It's great, we luv ya babe"
For them this BS, it's their whole life
Cut through their BS with a knife
IMITATION OF LIFE

[BRIDGE TWO:]
OOOOOOOOH, OOOOH, OH
ANGER BURNS
Bands dress like women, with hairspray and lace
I'd pass an image law, stick it in their face
Let's see how long they keep dressing this way
Wearing this image twenty four hours a day ...

[MOSH TALK PART]
DID YOU EVER THINK FOR YOURSELF ??
JUST ONCE, DID YOU EVER THINK ??
THAT'S ALL I WANT TO KNOW

[MOSH CHORUS PART]
IMITATION OF LIFE, Living out a lie
You'll never be right, IMITATION OF LIFE
WHY ARE YOU HERE ??, YOU'RE TAKING UP MY SPACE

The new imperfect race, IMITATION OF LIFE

[LEAD BREAK]

OOOOOOOOH, OOOOH, OH
ANGER BURNS
Whatever happened to the guy I knew
A media creation, a monster grew
Our story had an unhappy end
But this could change, I still call him friend
There's nothing I hate more
Than all these plastic people
With all their plastic promises
And all their plastic deals
They just can't be themselves
And live their own lives out
They're just an imitation
Of what life's all about
IMITATION OF LIFE

Oh Im not even talking about dating, though. Im talking just hanging out and trying to make friends with people. But the same concept applies. This woman is already married. But I just thought shed make a good friend. Baically, I bought into her BS compliments, her BS assurance of how great I was. Only for her to show me how great I was by not showing up for a friendly get-together. When push came to shove her true colors were revealed.

Guess Im not even worthy of spending an hour or so with just to eat a meal and talk. She lives right near where we were to meet, yetI had to drive an hour. And she doesnt show, or even give an explanation as to why. Figures.

I daydream sometimes of just having lunch and talking to some of these people. Just talking and having friends. Can you believe this? These are my "fantasies"...I dont dream of being rich, or to date a supermodel...my dreams are to just sit down and talk to some of these people...but Im not good enough for that. So it'll have to staya dream.

. . . You 'test' them? I am interested to hear how this is done.

People are highly fallible. Forgiving them is better for you than holding onto the pain they cause. Try not to entangle your emotional well being too much into the actions of others.

From all your posts, it seems that you are very tightly wound and very anxious and angry. I think what you need to focus on to get yourself out of it is not other people and how crappy they can be (which is certainly true) but on figuring out how you can calm yourself down.

I think you need some down time. Take time for yourself. Do things that interest you that don't involve other people for right now. Maybe talk to a therapist. Only when you have been able to find some peace will you be able to start dealing with others and their flaws.

You said she's married. Did it ever occur to you that maybe she couldn't meet up with you because of her spouse? If I told my husband I was going to have coffee alone with a male co-worker he would flip out. I wouldn't blame him either - that's how most affairs start.

There are plenty of people out there who are worth your time. They're just very very hard to find sometimes. I feel for you. I have been living in a different state for nine years and have made two friends who regularly drop off the face of the earth on me. It's very depressing, but it's temporary. I often daydream about having a few female friends to have coffee with or just go see a movie or some such.

It's not that you aren't good enough either - you just haven't met the right people.