Why do people not understand when you explain AS

Post Reply New Topic

I don't understand why some people still think ou are "weird" even after you explain that you have AS.

For instance I knew this girl casually for a while, and one day we went out on a date (sort of). Of course I acted sort of bizzare, and I could see she was put off. I explained after that I had aspergers, why I acted the way I did, and would like to remain friends if possible. She said something along the lines of "ummm yeh sure".

Later I found out, EVEN AFTER I EXPLAINED TO HER WHY I ACTED HOW I DID, she still thought I was a "weird serial killer". Her friend let it slip to me how she really felt, after I never heard from her again.

Why would a person think of me as "weird" after I explained why I acted how I did? Can't they understand it,s something I can't help, and if a person realizes they are different, and explains why, they are NOT WEIRDOS? A weird/crazy person DOES NOT KNOW THEY ARE CRAZY OR WEIRD!! The fact that I explained that I knew I was different, and why, should have let her know I was not some nutjob!!

I just don't get it. People can be so ignorant and stupid sometimes.

How exactly did you act that might have made her feel that way?

It's because people hate us, and they want us dead.

Its best not to tell anyone that you have AS unless you are pushed into a corner. NT's, unless they are psychologists or equivalent, can't distinguish AS from schizophrenia or psychopath. If they catch me acting a bit weird, I just tell them that I am socially ret*d. Its a simple explanation and to the point.

Most people do not like things that are different. Different is uncomfortable and not safe.

To be honest, I do not understand why it is so hard for so many people with asperger's to understand that if a person thinks someone is different/weird and the someone tells them "Oh, yeah, I am different (weird) because I have this disorder called asperger's that makes me think differently (weirdly). . . " unless the first person is familiar with asperger's in a possitive way (if they were this probably would not be an issue in the first place) adding a funny sounding name and listing symptoms/pointing out the specific reasons the person probably picked up on, but did not recognize individually, that caused them to think the someone was different/weird, is very likely only going to confirm the someone is weird in the person's mind.

Also, the ability of someone to explain they are different does not make them any less different. Some people simply do not like AS traits. Think of behaviors you do not like in a person or that make you uncomfortable. If someone with those traits was able to explain the psychological and/or biological reasons they behave in that way, would you suddenly not mind or even like said traits?

Study social sciences and psychology to try to understand why people do not like other people they perceive as very different from themselves. If you are able to understand it, maybe you will be satisfied with an explanation and no longer be bothered by it. If not, then maybe you will be able to understand how the availability of an explanation for something you find unpleasant or undesirable does not necessarily make it seem any more appealing.

Last time I acted weirdly in public in front of people I respect and like was when we went out to eat and a waitress came up suddenly with our food from behind me. She scared the poop out of me. She saw that she startled me so she put her hands on my shoulders to pivot me side to side saying your so wide its hard to work around you must have been good at football. Being startled then touched without notice set me off I was sort of befuddled after she did it. I had trouble speaking properly after she did it. Everyone was quiet at the table and the waitress acted weird when she returned to the table. It ruined the night for me lucky for her the resteraunt did not have one of those cards you can rank their servers. I was not pissed off but my friends kept saying if looks could kill that girl would of dropped dead. The more I said I was not pissed off the more they did not believe me. I told them I do not like to be touched because I have Aspergers but they said more like assholeness.

Just cannot really know. I'd guess....fear of the unknown? In fact, now I virtually never mention, to anyone, that I am an Aspie/HFA, even if they *might* suspect or notice that difference. Basically because of what you've described as others can be really unreasonable and have erroneous ideas shoved into their heads.

I'd imagine too, for myself, I am intelligent and do well.....but still nevertheless Autistic. Plus, apparently I don't "look" Autistic (don't know what that's supposed to mean though). Unfortunately, some NTs still regard Autism as something 'shameful' or 'sick.'

Worse, another will read a newspaper article or watch a TV program, then think they are an expert and feel some need to advise. That's painful!! ! Advice givers are the worst, IMO. *SCHADENFREUDE ALERT*

(To note: I actually met an ignorant bossy psychologist who insisted we are (quote) "Aussies," not understanding the term "Aspie." ) ***ding ding ding...we're not Autistic, we're Australian***

I've considered this too (sort-of as CockneyRebel wrote) - - In Alaska there are porcupines (one of my favorites). Porcupines are adorable; very gentle and non-aggressive. They are also very clever little tree dwelling creatures that keep to themselves. Porcupines have quills as they have virtually no other defense mechanism; porcupines are vulnerable. BUT some people still persist in the erroneous belief that porcupines "shoot" their quills (no! not even possible) and they are therefore somehow "mean" (no! the contrary). Porcupines are often killed by people...for no reason. Since porcupines are curious/gentle, they'll often approach - then to be clobbered by ignorant humans that just don't know any better. Since porcupines live in trees (they are climbers) and are relatively slow-moving (on the ground) they are easy targets. People just 'see' those quills....and not much else.

Fear is a form of bigotry. People can be painfully illogical and very cruel. Now that's socially ret*d. Geez...and they tell us we're not empathetic - huh?

We need far better PR.