No desire to be socially successful

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I second this. I don't mind being an outsider but having social skills does make life much easier, and increases my confidence to a certain degree.

I do like people, I actually care deeply for them and like the IDEA of having many friends but actually doing it isn't all that fulfilling. I've had a pretty active social life in the past and I just tire of it, I also get a little overwhelmed when people seem to REALLY like me. I like them too but I don't necessarily get it. I have no real desire to climb the social ladder, but I do think it;s important to have a few close friends. I'm not sure if I'll ever feel truly natural around people but I still like to have them around sometimes.

I found that too, shame. I love people, as an abstract concept

I do have a couple of friends that I love dearly, and they are rewarding to be with. I just can't tell what the difference is between them and everyone else.

I don't really care too much. As a matter of fact, I consider it an insult to be called 'normal'. I don't care about what's popular or anything. I have other priorities I like to invest my time in.

Agreed. I have friends and a relationship with my family (well, a few members of my family) and that is alright for me. I do not care about meeting anyone and everyone, talking to those I don't konw or changing my personality to suit a friend. Anyone who I am friends with understands who I am and how I work (as I've pretty much Sat them down and told them this is how it is -- deal or don't, I'm not altering my behaviour).

I understand that sometimes people wish to change because they ight be by nature social but unable to properly express that because of the AS, but I am content where I am in life.

I feel that my current insecurities have been pummled into me by society. I'm not particularly interested in becoming a social butterfly, but I am subjected to social pressures. One of which is an intense desire to excel in an area of expertise and have a career in which I will be recognised for my hard work. This is not the worst thing to be worried about, I suppose, but it's affected my interpersonal relationships badly. I believe that I would not have been so driven to be better than other at a certain subject (or in many subjects) if I didn't feel that society has undermined my abilities and/or that people have to meet very high standards in order to be viewed by the general population as successful.

I suppose I've always had a drive to show others that I'm capable, if not more so than others. I think it's good and bad that I have this particular drive in life instead of desperately wanting a partner or offspring or to have many friends or simply to be popular, etc. In fact, having a partner is extremely low on my personal list of priorities. Having offspring is even lower on the list.

That's not to say that i am not in some part a being that seeks other people and needs to socialise. I do nexperience lonliness and I often feel safer and happier when I share my experiences with another person, but I'm not that dependent on others and I don't want to be and it won't "kill me" if I'm not with people all the time. I like solitude too. I think I like it more than most people I know.

I wonder if autistic people who do yearn for social acceptance and to socialise with others more frequently have come to want this because they've been lead to believe that having a social life automatically makes to happy (just like how sometimes I feel that having a career will somehow cure me of my problems)?

Glorious

Thanks for the replies! I have 1 friends right now that I can relate to. He is a lot like me in many ways. I find that friendships are much better if the other person is similar to you.

There is an important distinction here. Not wanting friends and wanting friends and not having the social skills to have friends are two different things. The latter is a symptom of Asperger's syndrome, the former is misanthropy.

And the definition of a friend is very vague. I have work acquaintances and I can be friendly with them, and I like to go to lunch with one or two of them. But I'd never want to see them outside of work, and I never do, and I dread and avoid work parties.

I email one or two people I knew in high school or college every few years - is that a friend?

Is a girlfriend or boyfriend a friend? In theory, I'd like one of those, but either the luck or the machinery for finding one just isn't there so I'm resigned to do without, and maybe it would be more trouble than it was worth.

It's something I've been thinking about. Do I not want friends because I've given up and lack the skills to make them? Do i not have social skills because I don't want friends? Which came first?

It seems a lot of aspies just don't want friends. Maybe we are misdiagnosed.

I agree with this, but don't really feel much attachment to my family either. When my grandmother, who I was quite "close" to died, I never even felt the slightest bit sad about it, and when people asked me about it I started laughing (possibly because of their feigned concern, which I found somewhat comical). Its really very simple: I do like lots of people, but I am not invested in them at all.

I sure don't want to be normal. No way. But having friends and a social life, yes, definitely.

Nope - I desire interaction. I tend to get depressed if I don't keep in contact with friends..

Friends <3