Women who have aspergers: A non-issue for them

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Ferdinand
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02 Aug 2010, 1:37 pm

That was a penis joke. Just great.


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TeaEarlGreyHot
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02 Aug 2010, 1:42 pm

Oh god...


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Quatermass
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03 Aug 2010, 12:09 am

I think we've had enough fun taking the piss out of each other.


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sunshower
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03 Aug 2010, 12:23 am

I haven't read the whole thread because it's way too long, and I'm sure dozens of women have already put in their piece, but I feel I want to too.

Haven't you realized that just because you can get approached, doesn't mean you are able to successfully be in a relationship?? You said yourself that you initially get approached by women all the time!!

Have you ever considered that many of the aspie women who also, like yourself, get approached by the opposite sex all the time, still never or rarely made it to the "relationship" phase.

Being attractive and approachable does not equal a relationship. It is merely the first step.

I'm so sick of hearing all the male posts about how females with AS have it easy in relationships. We have no solid stats to tell us either way whether females with AS are more likely to be in relationships or not, so stop assuming it's easier for us simply because of the around 8 or so regular female aspie posters here who do happen to be in relationships.

We don't make light of your difficulties, so stop making light of ours.


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Surfman
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03 Aug 2010, 4:34 am

Everyone should throw in a dollar and gift a prostitute for the guy.



Blindspot149
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03 Aug 2010, 5:01 am

Surfman wrote:
Everyone should throw in a dollar and gift a prostitute for the guy.


why


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Surfman
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03 Aug 2010, 5:10 am

He might relax and not be such an intimidating dick?



CockneyRebel
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03 Aug 2010, 6:53 am

I'm not married, and nor do I wish to be. Marriage isn't really my thing, not to mention intimacy that comes along, with it. I was hurt very badly in college, by a guy in college, who I thought was my type, until he turned, and started treating me, like I was mentally ret*d. I've never fallen in love with a man, since than. Besides, I'd rather enjoy an evening, listening to The Kinks, than be forced to engage in an evening, of hot sex.


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Blindspot149
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03 Aug 2010, 11:02 am

Surfman wrote:
He might relax and not be such an intimidating dick?


What makes you think that would relax him :?:

You find him intimidating :? :arrow:


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tttnjfttt
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03 Aug 2010, 11:18 am

Blindspot149 wrote:
Surfman wrote:
He might relax and not be such an intimidating dick?


What makes you think that would relax him :?:

You find him intimidating :? :arrow:

If he is that desperate, y not take matters into his own two hands? I'm sure there are plenty of web sites that will help with the how to if he needs directions.



TeaEarlGreyHot
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03 Aug 2010, 11:30 am

tttnjfttt wrote:
Blindspot149 wrote:
Surfman wrote:
He might relax and not be such an intimidating dick?


What makes you think that would relax him :?:

You find him intimidating :? :arrow:

If he is that desperate, y not take matters into his own two hands? I'm sure there are plenty of web sites that will help with the how to if he needs directions.


I would be willing to shell out some cash so he can purchase some toys. *nod*


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loko
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03 Aug 2010, 5:46 pm

johnnydangerous wrote:
Aspie women dont need to know any rules of flirting. You go out, look pretty, and men want to get to know you. Done.




at the risk of feeding the trolls i felt compelled to comment on this solely because people tell me this all the f****n time, even those who know i have aspergers.
its so annoying to hear because there is so much more to it than that.
im no model of course, but i could probably go to the bar and put out a line and get some bites if i so desired, however i'd rather go to the dentist and have a cavity filled than go to a place and interact with a bunch of strangers, not knowing what to say, or how to look at them or "pick up on social cues" or feel extremely uncomfortable for the duration... not to mention the intolerable noise levels that one would encounter at a bar...



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03 Aug 2010, 6:25 pm

KaiG wrote:
You need counselling. Odds are it's not just your Asperger's that's causing the problem, but some other issues such as poor self-esteem or extreme social anxiety. These are not inherent to the Syndrome, and can be dealt with.

I'd watch out, in your post I'm seeing similarities with the attitude that the guy who shot up that gym had. Blaming women and the world for his own problems. I'd look into dealing with the situation in a more constructive manner than blame.



I agree with you . Theirs probably some co morbid conditions at play here, from my experience I can say get that dealt with and you may realise finding a significant other is not so important . I think this "chase"/ snowball (anxiety/depressive rejection ) goes back to high school "chasing" the friend or potential GF was all part of surviving the jungle. Now that I'm older and I like to think wiser (and finally correctly medicated :D ) I'm quite happy to go either way which is an ideal place to be for an aspie to be !

Though I think his right I think it's easier for women , quiet and introverted drives many men wild, I'm supposed to be smooth and put on the machismo , which for an aspie male is like speaking a foreign language that has not been learned.


Also I don't think aspie women being married at an early age is such a good thing , have you seen the hard data ? their seems to be a disproportionately large number of them in abusive relationships.



Last edited by aussiebloke on 03 Aug 2010, 9:02 pm, edited 2 times in total.

TeaEarlGreyHot
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03 Aug 2010, 7:17 pm

Also I don't think aspie women being married at an early age is such a good thing , have you seen the hard data ? their seems to be a disproportionately large number of them in abusive relationships.

This is one of the exact reasons why it's no easier for women than for men.

Also, it's a little known fact that women like sensitive men. Being macho tends to attract the wrong sort of women.


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04 Aug 2010, 2:42 am

TeaEarlGreyHot wrote:
Also I don't think aspie women being married at an early age is such a good thing , have you seen the hard data ? their seems to be a disproportionately large number of them in abusive relationships.

This is one of the exact reasons why it's no easier for women than for men.

Also, it's a little known fact that women like sensitive men. Being macho tends to attract the wrong sort of women.


I agree. I don't believe any of that "they have it easier because they're female" crap.


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04 Aug 2010, 3:01 am

Wuffles wrote:
To add a positive note: I'm female, 30, aspie, and I far prefer dating aspie guys (assuming that you don't have the kind of additional issues that this guy seems to have). Anyone else prefer aspie/aspie relationships or am I alone here?


I prefer AS-AS as well!


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