Birthdays Alone (Am I the Only One?)

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Hi everyone,

I am very curious if any other apies celebrate their birthday without others (alone) or how they cope on their birthday, if if is a difficult time for them.

Since I now know I have asperger's, that I don't really like being around people and I spend most of my time alone and I do things alone, I don't really have any friends, don't see my mother or siblings, no boyfriend, and I stopped celebrating birthdays at work, and I have spent many a birthday alone, especially the 40th and 50th . . . I was wondering if there are other aspies who celebrate their birthday alone, or don't celebrate at all? Am I the only one?

Many years ago I had a birthday gathering at a Mexican restaurant . . . and it was fun . . . but looking back, it overly stimulating and it was exhausting.

I find that the majority of the time I am disappointed or depressed on my birthday. Are you? I accept that my expectations are too high so no matter what any does, I won't be happy.

Last year for my 50th, I went to an all womens spa. At least I did something.

This year I'm going to take the day off work, get a facial, and then use my free dinner birthday coupon at a local restaurant. My favorite dessert is banana cream pie so I might have piece of that too.

I read somewhere that our birthday is a day to reflect on our growth (which for me is learning about my aspergers and accepting me for myself and to stop trying to fit into something I'm not) and to count our blessings.

I'd like to hear from others about how they spend their birthday without others or how they cope on their birthday if it is a difficult day.

I know this may sound depressing, but I hope I hear from some of you. Thank you.

D.

Nope, you're not all that odd. Celebrating birthdays is a cultural tradition, and not all cultures have such a tradition. In many places, people don't even really keep track of how old they are, because it really doesn't matter--what matters more is whether you're a parent or a grandparent, for example, or whether you're a child or an adult or an elder. Of course, a lot of people in the Western world do insist on celebrating birthdays; but who says you have to follow them? There's nothing intrinsically important about the anniversary of your birth.

Yesterday was my birthday, and it just served to remind me that I'm getting older, that I haven't accomplished as much as I expect from myself, that my life is dreary and narrow, and that I still have no idea what I want to do with the rest of it.

Sigh. I'm going to try to get on top of this problem by the New Year, but I just don't know...

You're not the only one.

When I was a little kid, my parents would throw me birthday parties. I enjoyed getting presents, but I didn't really like the party aspect. Too many people.

These days I don't really do much more than notice my birthday, but sometimes I'll try to do something nice for myself. IMHO, that's better than a party.

I've never celebrated my birthday with more than just a couple people. And it's mainly them who insisted on the "party." To me, my birthday is just another day.

I celebrate my birthday alone - that is, with no one else besides my parents and brother. It is a stressful day for me because it makes me overexcited. I cope by keeping it as low-key as possible.

It is the exact same thing when it comes to Christmas.

It's mostly just my family who celebrates my birthday. I haven't celebrated a birthday with friends since my CDC days.

You're probably not too uncommon.

If it wasn't for my parents wanting me over, I'd have my birthday alone, just like every other day.

I have spent many birthdays alone. It does not really bother me at all. I have never really had an issue with getting older. It is just another year, and I am still physically healthy. At christmas time, I am mostly alone. I set up a christmas tree with many different colored lights. I am very sensitive to light, so the lights seem to relax me alot as They absorb my focus. It does not bother me that there are few if any presents under the tree, either!

my bday was great,

if i didn't still have family living close by, mine would likely be alone

Yeah I spent my birthday alone this year. I don't think I had any human contact taht whole weekend.

I would love to spend my birthday alone but my family never lets me.

This is what I always do.

I spend it with my bf if possible, but if one or both of us is working that day it's no big deal. To me, birthdays are very personal...kind of like this:



(see http://memory-alpha.org/wiki/Parallels_%28episode%29)

Well, minus the painstick....

I have told others that I do not want to be celebrated. It is somewhat depressing to reflect on life when the past few years have not been ideal. Generally, I have no inclination to celebrate it.