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Lightning88
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22 Sep 2006, 4:20 pm

Don't you just hate it when people are over-protective towards you? I mean, I know it's for my well-being, but it's extremely annoying. When I was going around my neighborhood doing a fundraiser, there was this one lady in section 1 who constantly kept asking me if my mom knew I was doing this. I'm seventeen, people! Not seven! And it's probably the safest neighborhood in the city. And then she was like, "Now don't go in anyone's houses". Ugh, she was so annoying. I also don't like it when poeple think I'm the most adorable person they've ever seen. And I mean in the little kid sense rather than the young lady sense. Does anyone else have to deal with these sorts of things?



Tim_Tex
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22 Sep 2006, 4:54 pm

My parents still treat me like I'm 15 years old.

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julieme
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22 Sep 2006, 5:01 pm

Over protection -- yep --
Unfortunately in my case I can see why it is necessary:

My brain has some areas of damage that affect balance and processing motion so I have come very close to being run over on a few business trips.

I do fall or trip more than average- several times a week.

I also have a high pain tolerance and don't notice boo-boos often until they are pointed out.

Oh well



cloverleaf
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22 Sep 2006, 5:07 pm

My best friend and my big brother are like that too. I don't notice it so much with my brother 'cause he lives in a different city. but he's always telling me to take the dog with me when I go for a walk or wait for him. and even if I go with the dog or someone else I still have to take a cell phone.
My friends the same kind of way do you have your phone with you is it on do your parents know where you are do you know where you are.
It gets annoying but I can see why they do it. I get lost easy and over peopled easy so it makes sense.


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CockneyRebel
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22 Sep 2006, 5:24 pm

My mom is over-protective of me in a very strange way. She's letting me go to Victoria with some people from my Clubhouse. She would let me take a Bus to Ft Langley, by myself, to browse the more hip Antique Shops to look for some Routemasters, if there was a Bus that would go there. However, she will not let me walk through the park that's close to our house, because Hippies squat in that park, all year round. She also wouldn't let me go to 'Love Langley', which was a Love-In that was put on by all the churches in Langley. I think that she's afraid that my "Cockney Charm" could easily be tarnished by the local Hippies. It's like she sees me as her 'Precious little Routemaster'.



Ruvil
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22 Sep 2006, 8:53 pm

I hate it when my parents are over-protective.



katt5220
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23 Sep 2006, 5:10 pm

I have a 6 yr old with aspergers and I am sooo overprotective of her. I don't know whether I am doing the right thing or the wrong thing.
She gets over loaded so easy, she has some sensory issues and people just don't understand her and it makes me angry as well as protective.

I think I have a pretty good understanding of what my daughter feels like and when she is having a "day" I want to protect her from those feelings. I don't want her to feel anxious, hurt, scared or upset so I try to keep her from it.

I want her to always feel happy, loved and secure.
Aspie's are generally non social, Morgan was like that till she was 4 but now she is beyond social. She thinks the guy at Mcdonalds loves her cuz he said hi. That scares me! Someday she may walk into somebody's house and not come back out.

Anyway just wanted to explain from a loved one's perspective.
Katt



violet_yoshi
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23 Sep 2006, 5:23 pm

lightning88, I find it annoying when NT strangers feel they can be overprotective of someone who doesn't act NT. Like, "Oh the poor little darling, they don't know what they're doing. They're not NT, they can't possibly know how to take care of themselves!" Then if you turn around and say something like, "Excuse me I'm an adult not a child. I would perfer you treat me as an adult." They act offended, or taken back. Like a dog that's been hit with a newspaper. Talk about infantile. I mean, maybe the problem is they weren't overprotected. Maybe if they were they wouldn't need to act like a child about to cry, whenever someone asked for respect from them.


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ADoyle
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23 Sep 2006, 7:11 pm

Only when I was younger were people extremely overprotective of me, and this was before Aspergers was widely known. It wasn't until I was in my 20's that people started to realize that I was an adult and capable of taking care of myself. When I started driving, people knew that I was a safe driver as I've never had an accident or even a warning from a police officer. I do have a cellphone, but it's always in my purse out of reach when I'm driving, and usually turned off.


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sweetpraline
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24 Sep 2006, 10:18 am

I hate when my parents are overprotective of me, too. But I had to tell them that if they thought I was so helpless and and felt that I was so incapable of dealing with the big, bad world out there, then I would just quit my job, move back home and they could take care of me. They backed off when I told them that.



superfantastic
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24 Sep 2006, 10:25 am

katt5220, thanks for the perspective from the "other end". I guess it makes sense.



katt5220
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24 Sep 2006, 3:41 pm

superfantastic

Your welcome and I appreciate the other perspective too, I need to know these things so when my daughter grows up I can try and let go. actually I am working on that a bit now.

Katt



snake321
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24 Sep 2006, 4:26 pm

This is a major part of prejudice against aspies that NT society does not even understand how they are bein prejudice, it's bred into them through propaganda. Theyr taught to see us as "disabled" and theyr taught disabled people can't be independant, and to a large degree, that we're a burden on their society, lesser humans, and pity becomes theyr candy-coated way of saying this to us.
I'm 27, these services treat me like I'm about 7, period. So I stopped using those services.
Ever know how, in a household with lets say, 2 brothers, one NT and one AS, the NT can get away with alot of stuff the AS kid can't, because if your "disabled" they hold you to higher standards.... But we're seen as lesser people. I don't really understand that one myself.



sweetpraline
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25 Sep 2006, 10:18 am

snake321 wrote:
This is a major part of prejudice against aspies that NT society does not even understand how they are bein prejudice, it's bred into them through propaganda. Theyr taught to see us as "disabled" and theyr taught disabled people can't be independant, and to a large degree, that we're a burden on their society, lesser humans, and pity becomes theyr candy-coated way of saying this to us.
I'm 27, these services treat me like I'm about 7, period. So I stopped using those services.
Ever know how, in a household with lets say, 2 brothers, one NT and one AS, the NT can get away with alot of stuff the AS kid can't, because if your "disabled" they hold you to higher standards.... But we're seen as lesser people. I don't really understand that one myself.


That's not fair either. Because some of the NT's I grew up with got into got into way more trouble than I did. Because they were so influenced by their peers that they would just do any stupid thing just to fit in. Some of them ended up getting into some real deep trouble, getting into gangs, using drugs, selling drugs, etc. Where I didn't care what the other kids were doing and I didn't get inolved if it seemed like it was shady.

I remember when my niece got caught shoplifting at the mall with a group of her friends. My mother asked her why in the hell she was doing something like that. My niece said, "I did it because my friends were doing it." With my niece it's always "My friends this." or "My friends that." or "I want to be just like my friends." If her friends would say "jump, my niece would say "how high". Now if I was a parent, that's the type of child I'd worry about.



snake321
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25 Sep 2006, 11:13 am

Lets say, Dan and Dave are brothers, about 15 and 17 yrs of age. Dave being the older one, but lets even say dave was an aspie, while Dan was a NT. Dan decides to stay out late one night, past his cerfew. When he gets home, he gets grounded for a week. A few weeks later, Dave stays out past his cerfew, he gets grounded for two months. Because he's "disabled" he's held to a higher standard.



sweetpraline
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25 Sep 2006, 11:46 am

snake321 wrote:
Lets say, Dan and Dave are brothers, about 15 and 17 yrs of age. Dave being the older one, but lets even say dave was an aspie, while Dan was a NT. Dan decides to stay out late one night, past his cerfew. When he gets home, he gets grounded for a week. A few weeks later, Dave stays out past his cerfew, he gets grounded for two months. Because he's "disabled" he's held to a higher standard.


I understand what you are saying. However, I don't think its really being held to a higher standard. The way I see it, Dan can go out but when he stays out late, he gets grounded. But his parents let him go out because he is NT. With Dave, his parents might not let him go out at all because he is aspie. Or if they do let him go out, they will go with him because they don't feel he is mature enough or capable enough to handle it so they feel the need to be more protective of him.