The autism social rule book.

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D:

That's a little concerning if your date is asking you for those things.

130: If you want to be popular with NTz (and on ANY internet forum) keep your comments simple, trivial (and occasionally stupid)

This depends on who you're talking to. Some people like talking about those subjects.

131. Just because you want to be in a conversation, doesn't mean people want you to be there.

132. Don't make people look dumb by saying something humorous (or informative) that takes a fair amount of intelligence to comprehend.
eg. there are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary, and the rest.

Sorry if this is already posted, but being ADHD meas I don't have the attention span to read them all.

133. Usually overreacting can make a situation much worse.

134. When someone insults or offends you in public, don't bring it to everyone's attention or you'll end up looking like the bad guy. If you're really mad at the person try to find a more "creative" way to get some justice.

135. There is NO revenge quite so complete as FORGIVENESS

136. Just because somebody says hello and stops to have a 15 minute conversation doesn't mean they're your best friend.

Edit: Or has the same interests as you.

or that they have Asperger's

This can relate to a facebook scenario previously mentioned..

Don't over criticize/analyze a person over something they buy or do.

For example, one friend bought a computer, and I just said jeeze you got ripped off because I could've found you one for a lot cheaper! Which ended up making him feel bad and stupid instead of inspired on being active in fixing the situation. Which results in again, don't over analyze or they lose interest in sharing their lives with you. Just say "cool" and try enjoying their happiness or whatever.
--I had a situation with another friend, who is a mother, and her daughter. Her daughter had a boyfriend online which turned out to be a hacker/stalker. I commented that her daughter must have been pretty naive to have allowed the guy to slip in such damage. (it was bad) and she cried out her daughter was in love (stupid tho..) and other people got upset at me for that also.

Also, if you are insecure about trusting someone, don't batter them with questions because it can feel like your interrogating and not trusting the person. Don't go over things that you have gone through. ie-beating a dead horse.

Assume you know what you are doing Try controlling your perfectionist side and just do your job. If you spend too much time worrying, it will result in not being productive. For the most part, it will be much better you just do it instead of worry about the small details. See the bigger picture.

I like the reply: better than most not as good as some --for how are you doing.

--For Rule #54 Narwhal. I have a solution to imitating fashion styles of NTs. What I have recently learned to do is go to fashion websites. Neimanmarcus and Gap have complete fashion sets sold.
Mind you both are expensive stores; which have clearances and combination coupon promotions found via slickdeals website.

One thing that confuses me though.. Sometimes when I try listening and being passive, I feel like i'm the one that needs to keep the conversation going because the other person doesn't seem interested or is the one struggling. I mean, why would a person claim to have difficulty and take the responsiblity in that?

Jeeze.. controlling urges not to comment is so hard lol.

I love this thread!!


Never go to a theater/concert, or restaurant/cafeteria alone. NT's will brand you a "loser" for these things. Try to be in a group with others as much as possible in public. If you must be alone, constantly be fidgeting with your cell phone to give the appearance of text-messaging.

Know that NT's value being told what they want to hear far more than the truth.

If someone starts verbally abusing you, fire verbal abuse right back at them, even harder, or else you will look like a pushover and they will know they can get away with it. The only exception to this are authority figures such as your teacher or boss.

Know that NTs will frequently be cruel to others who have done nothing wrong to them. This is simply due to their petty and hateful nature. Always be ready to defend yourself.

To win friends or at least friendly acquaintances, pretend to be interested in the same things they are interested in.

If someone invites you to hang out with them, invite them to hang out with you a few days later. Friendships are two-way.

Know the status symbols of the NT world, such as luxury cars, athletic ability, multiple sexual partners (men only), and work to acquire them for yourself, or at least the appearance of them. This will earn you power and respect amongst NTs.

Now I've read this entire thread; what a great idea. Some of the rules seem very obvious and some are more subtle. One of the subtler ones - for some people at least - is the one which pointed out that just because people are having a conversation does not mean that your participation is wanted. I remember making a 'note to self' about that, after finding it out the hard way at a new high school.

Here's one I recently wished a certain person knew:

If you are having a good time talking to someone and the other person picks up their car keys, start wrapping up the conversation. If they move towards the door, it's time to tell them IT'S BEEN nice talking to them. And finally, if they SAY they have to be leaving now, for the love of heaven urge them to drive safely and STOP bringing up additional topics.

Reading the original post about joining a conversation where one might not be wanted, and also your sentiment about it might have sparked a new understanding of a social situation that confused me, thank you both..! !

Although, my situation in particular might have been a combination of both joining a conversation where my participation was not wanted or expected AND simply saying the wrong thing.... Nasty combination, that..



To clarify, I'll tell about the actual situation..

At the communal pool one day, after my 5 yo daughters swimming practice, all the mothers and daughters was in the showers/changing area... One of the moms was changing in to a one-piece (the latest fad here.... say no more..).

She was talking about how comfortable it was, with a couple of other mothers who also happened to live in the same street as her.

I also own a one-piece, and think it is really comfortable to wear, but while I love how comfortable it is, I don't wear it outside the house.....

At some point, I said as much, that I also had a one-piece, that it was one of the most comfortable garments I've ever owned, but that I wasn't as tough as her as to be able to wear it outside my house....

To my utter shock, confusion and horror, all of them went silent and got what I described to my mother later as "a funny expression on their faces".....

I don't really remember what happened after that, but that moment just stuck... Because I didn't understand what happened, what went wrong.

My mother couldn't really give any insight either, and she's about the most NT person in my immediate family.

But what was said about joining a conversation where one was not really wanted really gave me an eye-opener.

And I DO see, after the fact, that what I said might not have been taken the way I meant it.......

I can relate, Fluke83.

I CAN do this but sometimes I forget... It works much better than an honest response.