Found my bully........

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what he said or let down the air in his tyres

Life is strange and catches up with the bullies in odd ways sometimes, if one is patient enough, as it does to us all eventually.

"The Hill"

Where are Elmer, Herman, Bert, Tom and Charley,
The weak of will, the strong of arm, the clown, the boozer, the fighter?
All, all are sleeping on the hill.
One passed in a fever,
One was burned in a mine,
One was killed in a brawl,
One died in a jail,
One fell from a bridge toiling for children and wife—
All, all are sleeping, sleeping, sleeping on the hill.
Where are Ella, Kate, Mag, Lizzie and Edith,
The tender heart, the simple soul, the loud, the proud, the happy one?—
All, all are sleeping on the hill.
One died in shameful child-birth,
One of a thwarted love,
One at the hands of a brute in a brothel,
One of a broken pride, in the search for heart’s desire;
One after life in far-away London and Paris
Was brought to her little space by Ella and Kate and Mag—
All, all are sleeping, sleeping, sleeping on the hill.
Where are Uncle Isaac and Aunt Emily,
And old Towny Kincaid and Sevigne Houghton,
And Major Walker who had talked
With venerable men of the revolution?—
All, all are sleeping on the hill.
They brought them dead sons from the war,
And daughters whom life had crushed,
And their children fatherless, crying—
All, all are sleeping, sleeping, sleeping on the hill.
Where is Old Fiddler Jones
Who played with life all his ninety years,
Braving the sleet with bared breast,
Drinking, rioting, thinking neither of wife nor kin,
Nor gold, nor love, nor heaven?
Lo! he babbles of the fish-frys of long ago,
Of the horse-races of long ago at Clary’s Grove,
Of what Abe Lincoln said
One time at Springfield.

--Edgar Lee Masters, from "Spoon River Anthology" (1915)

Let it go. Also, I hope you didn't bulk up/do martial arts as some form of compensation after being bullied! I have friends who did that, and I always thought it... unfortunate that their lives became shaped in this way by their negative stimulus.

dont they teach you martial arts are only for defensiveness purposes? I had a friend who was a black belt in tae-kwon-do(sp*) and he told me he would be in trouble with his master if he started a fight.

In the long run it's better to focus on ways you can improve your life instead of ways to disrupt someone else's.

Because of the way this guy treated you when you were younger, you trained and became stronger. It's best to look at that as a good thing, instead of a bad thing. If you think about it, how would your bully prefer your life to have turned out? Would he prefer you to experience great personal growth because of what he did, or would he prefer you to end up rotting in a cell? In which scenario does he win or lose?

You already beat him, man. Enjoy it, be happy that you're better than him. Be smug and arrogant, you earned it. Usually when people say things like this, it's hollow and empty, just words that don't make up for your suffering, but in this case it's actually true. You underwent personal growth because of something he did to try and keep you down, and now you are literally better than him as a result. You should actually find that pretty damn funny, not enraging.

As much as the past bullying stings, it will hurt even worse if you get prosecuted for assault and/or the guy sues you in civil court and takes you to the cleaners, the OP sort of constitutes motive and intent for a DA or private attorney to run wild with. Also, someone doesn't have to be all that good a shape to stab someone or pull a trigger, just to put a worst case scenario on the table.

In my kung fu school they always said a beginning kung fu student will get in a fight and probably lose, an intermediate student will get in a fight and probably win, but the advanced student would never get in a fight in the first place. I don't know what style of martial arts you study, but if it's a martial art as opposed to simply a martial skill, there should be some wisdom somewhere in there that will lead you in the right direction. Besides, that guy's not the same person he was when you were in high school. People change. You don't know, maybe he's had some realizations and actually regrets some of the things he did. Even bullies have hearts, even if we can't see them. And people only bully when they're somehow screwed up and having self esteem problems themselves anyway.

He's probably got enough problems as it is - and really, do you need another problem in your own life like an assault charge? Right now he's "that jerk". If you were to do what you've considered, then you'd be the jerk, effectively taking upon yourself all those things you begrudge him. Honestly, seven years of martial arts study should have you at a higher level than that. How would that kind of behavior reflect on your martial arts teacher or school?

My words sound harsh, but they are not being said with animosity. Someone having taught you a martial art is a precious gift with deep wisdom. I would encourage you to honor it by treating it that way.

I know your angrey at what happened. I have been bullied all my life and have been beaten up and nearly raped at school I wanted to go and beat up and even kill the bullies that picked on me all my life but I learnt that your putting yourself down to their level and hitting someone could land you in a police station with a record. Its best you Ignore them and dont give them the time of day.

If you want to be arrested for assault and battery, then by all means go beat him up.

Otherwise, don't do it.

MrXxx had the right answer.
(Read "The Cask of Amontillado" by Edgar Allen Poe)

As someone else mentioned, Martial Arts is not intended as an attack art, it is taught as a way of defense, and also a way to tune the body. If your dojo did not teach you that, he's a piss poor example of the art.

To be honest and open, I've often dreamed of breaking the hands of the eye surgeon who messed up my vision so that she could no longer practice her work upon others.
Fear of jail kept me from going farther than purchasing the baseball bat.

My intention was not so much because she made a mistake on the surgery as because
she refused to accept there was an mistake. She also stood in my way when I sought help from another doctor (that other doctor admitted to having been approached by her).

These are not logical ways for a professional doctor to behave - they take an oath to cure people and to do no harm. Though I understand your feelings of hate continue about this bully, I too was bullied in school..

But look at it this way: Bullies are undifferentiated persons who have not promised anyone how they are going to behave vis-a-vis the world. They are still experimenting, because they are lost. If it had been your teacher, priest, or bus driver (I'm looking back 20-some years, at you, Sergio!) who abused their position of 'promised trust' then I'd say yes, he deserves your hate.

Some big bad bully? What do you have to gain by showing him you're stronger now? Same thing he had to gain from showing you he was stronger then: That you haven't decided to play by society's nonagression pact yet.

When in fact, while learning martial arts, nonagression should have been part - if not the focus - of the program and social commitment.

I can't be the only person saying 'kick that n***a's ass'....

....but in hindsight the other points offered are salient. E.g. the whole legal system in america not being amenable to fighting/settling disputes that way [heh if people complain about sueing over 'trivial' reasons and then complaining about shanking/stabbing over those same reasons that is limiting hmm]. And there is the whole 'reputation' thing others mentioned - the honor of your sensei and art form so yeah. Fine don't do it. SWIM suggests having others work him over instead - call in a hit squad or 'SWAT' the house claiming there is drugs in the house or a hostage situation

I have a lot of respect for people who work hard to make their bodies strong and healthy. I know it's not something that just happens; it takes a lot of commitment, dedication, and hard work. Being strong is not just about beating people up, either. It's just plain useful in life when you want to get things done.

Look at it this way: You've already beaten him, because his bullying wasn't able to keep you down. It made you stronger. Bullies don't like that. They don't bully someone and say to themselves, "I hope this guy reaches his goals and achieves something he can be proud of!", do they?

What would be funny is if you saw him giving himself a hernia, struggling to help his girlfriend move some furniture or something. Then you come along and say, "Could you use a hand with that?" and just pick the thing up with no problem, and carry it up the stairs.

Just something to think about.

Well I know how you feel. I too accidentally ran onto a site of a former bully from high school...you know on the side where it says "people you might know". I wanted so bad to leave her horrible message under an annonymous name after the constant hell she put me through. Suffice to say I didn't and felt very jealous with all the friends she had.

BTW your topic reminds me so much of the move Eagle vs the Shark when Jarrod gets in touch with a bully he use to know in school and invites him for a fight. The scene was hysterical because I think there's a lot of truth to it...


[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QsQYRYTSSAw[/youtube]

You better believe there are laws against this. It's called felonious assault to simply walk up and beat the crap out of him.

Quite apart from legal repercussions and risks involved.

Ask yourself, what kind of person do you want to be. Do you want to do unto others what they have done unto you? Do you want to pepetuate the circle of hatred, keeping both of you down?

Or do you want to move on and become the change you want in the world?

Exactly. We don't need any more bullies.