WP members GF ill with cancer

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Sorry to hear about your husband. That's a difficult cancer to cure (rarely happens). I'm sure it was miserable.

But read the Yahoo post again:

YahooSean2

Based on the evidence that we have so far the best case scenario is that he genuinely believed that he had a girlfriend who had cancer, and for whatever reason, ( either because he realised it wasn't true, or because, as Stellar has suggested, he has spent the money on other things ), he is afraid to come on here and explain the situation, is hoping to put it behind him, forget about it by cutting off his connections here, decided to deal with the mess/muddle/disappointment by "moving on", writing off WP friends and enjoyable ( honest/open ) WP membership as an unavoidable cost of doing so.

For several years, ( mainly during a period of hypomania/mood disorder and breakdown, but also on a smaller scale at other times ), I did this sort of thing repeatedly, moving away/cutting off connections/abandoning people and places and belongings in order to escape a mess I'd got myself into, to "start fresh"/with clean slate, telling myself that so and so and such and such a job or project started wasn't that important to me anyway.

On one occasion, the most memorable and the worst, aged 26, I told myself that an old friend was stupid to have lent me a couple of hundred pounds for travelling when she knew that I was so unstable/unemployed etc ... it took me a couple of years to pay her back, after she wrote to my parents about it, and they, ( having confirmed the story with me ), sent her the money and then collected it in instalments from me, and another 4 to feel remorse and write a letter of apology to her. We are now, after several years, friends again, but during those years between the loan and the remorse I dealt with my guilt ( at having taken the money and my failure to repay it on my own initiative ), by writing off a very old and precious friendship, denigrating her in my head.

That really is the best case scenario, that seanmw genuinely believed the hypothetical gf's story, discovered that it wasn't true, and/or has spent the money on other things; eg. was unable to resist "checking out new menu items in obscure restaurants", "seeing new films at the IMAX", etc that he describes so nostalgically ( about living near Seattle ) in the post I quoted several pages back, ( a tendency I recognise, of suddenly having lots of money and thinking that it'll be ok if "just" buy this or that, because firmly intend to pay it back with money expect to get later, or because won't need all of it for the original purpose ), and spending so much that, as Stellar suggests, there isn't enough anymore, and he can't face admitting to it on here ( that the gf's story wasn't true, and/or that he's misspent the money ) .

The worst case scenario is that he never believed the sick girlfriend story, but Dilbert ( and others ) may be right when they say that seanmw doesn't come over as sufficiently sophisticated etc to have set this up from scratch. I disagreed with Dilbert yesterday about it but it's true that he has left such a huge trail, and made such a muddle of the details at several points, that it's difficult to believe this is the work of an experienced or even inexperienced but deliberate scammer. Most of seanmw's posts ( and def those from 2009 ), sound perfectly genuine, and his naivety, "childlike" enthusiasm, failure to understand dangers involved in online relationships with under-age girls for example, etc, actually sound like me, aged 19, failing ( disastrously ) to understand that sex without contraception may actually lead to pregnancy.

I don't know; the evidence so far does not totally rule out this "least worst" scenario, ... but it is the "least worst", ie. he has still collected money from people intended for a certain use, and I think we can all agree that it is clear that he has not been to visit any sick girlfriend ... so what do we do? Write it off, or do we "write to his parents" as my friend did, ( after a year had gone by and I showed no sign of paying her back )?

Edit. PS. The one thing though that inclines me to think that he was scamming, however ineptly, ( but still very effectively ), from early July onwards, is that he seems to have gone ( back? ) to college, and yet he said that after he "moved to his dad's place" at the end of August he would have no more babysitting duties and would be freer to take a week to visit Adrienne. And also ... he said his mom and little sister were being evicted ... I see no signs of this on his mom's FB page. And there are a couple of other things like that.
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Well I think people treating him like a criminal is a lot worse than saying "I told you so" to him.

He's old enough to know better quite frankly.

I have been following this thread since the beginning when my initial reaction to it was that this was a scam. I've tried not to get involved but now feel like perhaps my older persons view point may be helpful to those caught up in this situation. As the thread progressed I changed my opinion on it being a scam and thought it was more likely a fools errand. I believe this situation has come about because of the naivity and lack of judgement of all parties. We can talk and argue about the whys and such like but it doesn't help anything. What people need to decide is where to go from here. I have devised a question and yes or no answer process to help people focus on the end result of resolving this situation.

Q1. Are you SeanMW?
Yes - go to Q6.
No - go to Q2.

Q2. Did you send any money to SeanMW?
Yes - go to Q3.
No - Count yourself lucky and don't get further involved in this situation. It has reached a point beyond forum discussion and you should now leave it to those directly affected.

Q3. Do you now believe that SeanMW delibrately set out to defraud you of money?
Yes - go to Q4.
No - go to Q5.

Q4. Do you wish to take the matter further?
Yes - You need to stop posting about here and report it to the police.
No - Chalk it up to experience and move on.

Q5. Do you wish to take the matter further?
Yes - Stop posting about it here. Write to SeanMW directly asking for return of the money. Give him a set time to return it and advise him that if is isn't returned in this time period, you will be taking the matter further. Send this letter by a method that requires a signature upon receipt and keep copies of it. If you do not receive a satisfactory result file a claim against him in the civil court. Do not, as has been suggested, contact his family/friends via other sources and try to involve them. That is a very immature way to proceed.
No . Chalk it up to experience and move on.

Q6. Do you still have the money that was sent to you?
Yes - Return it to the people who sent it to you and apologise for not keeping them informed. You should do this privately.
No - Contact the people who sent you money privately. Apologise to them for messing up and come to an agreement with them about how you are going to repay them.

I have just sent seanmw the following message by pm, and hope very much that I get a reply:

UPDATE:
I just received a pm from sean, apparently his girlfriend is now stuck down a well in Kenya. She desperately needs 2,000,000 Kenyan dollars to be rescued. The upside is that she's found a fortune in gold down there estimated to be worth $3,000,000. So anyone who donates will be treated to a share!

yes ouinon maybe you should relax and let time take it's course.
i do not need oodles of information that repeatedly cover the same territory.

maybe he is scared to come back because you are keeping the war alive.

his absence is the only thing that interests me. you have been a very good investigator, but i will just wait for him to come back and say what he will, and if he never does, then i will conclude my association with this matter.

i do not need to read agonized investigative reports to ausage my sense that he has absconded.
i come to my conclusions in an easy way and i do not spend too many calories along the way.

i know you gave him 25 bucks, but you seem to be using this thread to display your own personality.
i never saw you to be so active in any other thread other than this where you have your teeth firmly anchored on what is obvious to anyone without your continuous reaffirmation.

good work but i already would have known as much as i do without your input.