Explaing AS to those who don't know it

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I once tried explaining it to my Ex-girlfriend (we were dating at the time) that it was something similar to autism and the first thing she said was "like rainman". I had no idea what she was talking about until I saw the movie but I don't think its an accurate description of AS.

It's a bit sad (well, sad's probably going a bit far) that we have such a major problem with something they take for granted, and because it's not physical it's harder for them to relate to something such as losing your leg or going blind.

People who know about my AS treat me like I don't know anything.

When I discovered I could had AS by autodiagnosis, I investigated more about it before I told it to everyone. After I confirmed it, I told it to my mom and my sister, but my friends didn't knew.

Time passed, and one day I was with my best friend talking about the time when we met each other for first time on high school. She ask me: "Why did you be always so quiet? When I met you I tried to have a conversation with you, you only responded with few short words. I thought you didn't want to talk me. You was very different to the others"

I told her I had AS. She ask me "What's that?"

When I tried to explain her it was something similar to autism, she ask me "Did you feel alone?" It was strange, I didn't expect an answer like that. So, I continued explaining her differences between an AS person and a NT, different perceptions, social problems, and other things.

Although now we have different college schedules and we can't have a lot of time for talking, she continues talking me every moment she meets me and she treats me at the same way when she didn't know I had AS.

I think I know why she asked 'Did you feel alone?'. Usually when you're not talkative and you keep to yourself it means that you feel lonely and 'seperate', and in various ways we could all feel that way. She asked it because she cared about you. It's also why she greets and talks to you as much as she can. And because she still treats you the same means you just got the best reaction anyone, especially me, could ever ask for.

I usually explain it's a different way of seeing things, that my brain is wired differently. However, if someone says "Oh so you suffer from Asperger's?" I quickly point out it's not something one suffers from, that ignorant P.O.V. is what fuels those morons in the curebie industry and the mercy killers. I don't blame the person who thinks that because, they most likely don't know any better. It's just, they should be informed. Even if it may come across as rude, or the person might act taken aback. They have to remember they're talking about people, not at them.

First, I want to refer to the "weed" analogy a bit earlier in the discussion...I loved it, how funny and appropriate. We (NT's) are like weeds and we are common, but we come in all types, some more resilient than others, some need less, some more. that said....Rosacoke what you said above is so true. people fail so often to realize that everyone has personal difficulties they are dealing with that are not always public knowledge or obvious. To be accepting and forgiving of that is the way i try to be. I often will ask people why they are a certain way, or if they don't seem to like something etc.

I am an NT that is very open minded and nonjudgemental, I am also very accepting, however confusion causes me anxiety. If someone is reacting or responding to me in a different way than usual, unless I know they are AS, I will use what I am most familiar with to determine what their actions mean. If I had known about AS when I met the man I fell in love with, I could have avoided months of feeling rejected and even that perhaps he did not find me attractive. There were so many misunderstandings that could have been avoided. When I finally figured it out on my own thru research, some of the previous "programmming" was hard to undo, my self image really took a beating that i am still trying to recover from. Some may say, that's my problem. Yes, but it becomes everyone's problem if it is based on a misunderstanding, because as an AS, you are misinterpreted. It may be determined that you don't like sex, when in fact you may really enjoy it. None of us, AS or NT is a mind reader(not usually anyway).I needed help adjusting and understanding. I don't know if it could have worked out or not, but we could have learned a lot from one another. I liked the way he was, I could tolerate his quirkiness,but being an NT, I did have more of a need for affection, or at least I needed to be able to at least talk about the way I am and why, and to hear him talk about the way he is. I needed to understand what he is able to do and not do, and what he thinks and what he finds frustrating, BEFORE I experienced so much confusion and self doubt.

The only way to "Keep it real" is to share who and what personality type you are if you are contemplating a close relationship.

Yes, and it means she is a real friend.

^Not bad for a 16 year old, eh?