How do you deal with Obsessive Anxiety?

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Whenever someone says something to me that makes me angry or depressed I always suffer a lot of heavy anxiety, especially if the situation continues to stay awkward or is never resolved. I constantly wonder what that other person is doing and if I should do something, and it just sucks. I really can't explain it all that well other than a lot of needless stress.

Typing my feelings out helps alleviate the anxiety a little, but not enough for comfort. How do you deal with things like this?

Go for a walk in the sun?

Understanding and forgiveness?

Learn to 'let things go'...

I've never had something with a friend that stayed unresolved, I always finish talking/arguing about it until we come to some sort of understanding.

But if something that's been said in the past is getting to me, I'll do something that relaxes me to calm down..for me that's writing in a journal, watching a TV show I really like, or listening to music.

If I say the wrong thing in a conversation, even something insignificant that no one else even notices, I think about it and dread the next time I see this person or people. My stomach gets sick and I think about tit for days. When something does happen that is bad, like an arguement, It is even worse. If I get the nerve to appoligise and make it right then it eventually subsides. Facing it head on seems to be the best bet.

I meant to say "I think about it for days"

I keep my mind busy, so that I don't dwell on the thing that is bothering me. I do chores, go to my clubhouse, post on WP and listen to my music. I also work a few days a week and volunteer once a week, as well.

I have no advice to give...but willing to take any advice someone else might have.

I just had this happen with a friend about a month ago. Still can't stop thinking about what I did wrong, how I was wronged and wondering if we'll ever be friends again. He and I have mutual FB friends, so I see some stuff he posts--which makes the problem worse because I am obsessing a lot about how to effect a change and try and talk it out...sent him a message about an event he might enjoy but he never responded.

Have other friends that stopped talking to me years ago and I avoid places intentionally to avoid seeing them. Can't stop feeling wronged and knowing that I was in the wrong too. Want to apologize but then think that might be weird after all this time. One lady I still see at a mutual friend's house quite often. SO AWKWARD that I can't even say...she keeps trying to be nice and friendly. Is she trying to pretend nothing ever happened or just trying to make things less weird? I have no social radar--so I have no idea.

Blah.

Human relationships aren't logical...that's one thing I've come to realize. There is no predefined "timeframe" or method for working out conflict...it just flows (for NTs). For us, it's harder, because we don't have that intuitive sense for how these things should unfold, so we're a bit like blind people in a dark room. Eventually, we can learn our way around it by feeling objects, but we'll bump into various things along the way--often quite painfully--and will continue to do so on occasion for our entire lives. Sad analogy, but probably truer than not.

From my perspective, regarding your second paragraph, it really depends on exactly how she's acting. If she's just being cordial and greeting you or asking incredibly superficial questions when greeting you ("how are you?" "how's your wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend?" etc.), she may just be social-feigning for the sake of convenience/propriety. But, particularly if she's asking more detailed questions about your life, it's entirely possible, even likely, she's making an attempt to rekindle that friendship and is gauging whether you've gotten over your conflict and are willing to move on, as well. If you're still hurting about it, it's perfectly reasonable to bring that up, but only after exchanging niceties.

How do you deal with Obsessive Anxiety?


I obsess over anything but anxiety.

I am going through a scenario very similar to yours:

http://www.wrongplanet.net/postp3045480.html#3045480

Any advice for both of us would be appreciated!

I know how that feels. I notice that a lot of smaller things upset me. It can bother me for the whole day or even longer. This is also why I can't stand watching horror movies. It triggers anxiety and I end up worrying about it for days and staying up late too. I even cry because I'm so scared but even when I know those things aren't real they still bother me.

I'm not sure if what I do would really be much help since most people are often different. I often try to listen to music because music is like my life compared to anime. If I have music then I found it most essential when wanting to drown out unwanted stimuli or other things that bother me.

I also write alot too. Writing is not only a way of my expression but when I even write fanfiction... it becomes away for me to get more feel for characters I write and I forget what was troubling me. Often times if that don't help then I end up crying.

But one thing that really helps, if I do cry is having one look at the pictures of my favorite Japanese rockstar on my wall and I stop crying instantly. I also take medication for my anxiety sdo I take that and it helps and sometimes it won't.

I tend to get anxious and obsessive thoughts quite a bit, and the four things that have helped for me are:

1) being on an anti depressive/anti-anxiety medication that helps regulate my mood
2) talking things out with my mom or a close friend
3) physical exercise: it really gets the stress out
4) good music: gets you into your own world and helps you loosen up

Of course, these tips may not necessarily apply to you as different things work for different people: but these are ones you can certainly try out.

Last edited by anneurysm on 12 Sep 2010, 12:13 am, edited 1 time in total.

I struggle with these same obsessions. it's funny u posted this because i've just started to understand how my mind is constantly barraged with thoughts of these kind. It's like a paranoia about if people are judging me negatively, and for some reason it just tears me up emotionally that people are looking at me in a negative way, and i just can't help but look for indications through their behavior that they are doing so (and worst of all, i think i "invent" some of those cases too).

Anyway, diet and exercise come highly recommended for anyone who suffers from depression or anxiety, so I would work on getting that in order, and most important of all is THAT YOU REMOVE COFFEE AND CAFFIENE FROM YOUR DIET. It's like fuel for anxiety.

I just recently started going to college and have a meal plan, so I eat extremely healthy -- no processed sugars, vegetables, salads, meats, and also i supplement with fish oil capsules. This coupled with exercise (i go to the gym here just about everyday, and lift as heavy as possible) has gotten me to the point where I still have the obsessive thoughts, but the negative emotions that result are very slight, to the point where I can acknowledge that they are "just" obsessive thoughts, and then I move on to thinking about something else.

I think I'm begginning to ramble, so i'll cut this short. good luck.

The issues happen to me right before sleep, so I make up a story and go along with it until I KO myself. It helps keep your mind off stuff like that.