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SheDevil
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01 Oct 2006, 11:19 am

Where do you draw the line between denial and hope? How do you distinguish the two? What is the difference?

I could really use some opinions and insights.....from the Aspie point of view.

(My sanity may depend upon it :) )

Thanks,
SheDevil
(who is either an NT in denial, or an NT full of hope)



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01 Oct 2006, 11:33 am

"The hope is a confusion of the wish for something to happen with the likelieness that it would happen." Schopenhauer


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superfantastic
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01 Oct 2006, 11:44 am

I don't know much about it, but I'd say that hope is acknowledging that there is a problem, but thinking that everthing might turn out fine anyway.

Or at least recognizing that there might be a problem, but thinking that there's a chance that the problem might not exist.

With denial you deny the idea of a problem altogether.



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01 Oct 2006, 11:50 am

you know, honestly i think it depends on what you allow to define reality. i was trying to think of examples, i.e. denial = nothing's wrong and hope = i hope mom isn't sick - but then, it depends on "sez who?"

who/what do you accept as the authority over reality? i hope it's not the dsm-iv.



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01 Oct 2006, 1:13 pm

SheDevil wrote:
Where do you draw the line between denial and hope?



Denial is fairly easy. It's clinging to an unlikely hope, and not being able to contemplate the consequences of the positive outcome not happening.

Hope comes in many flavours , from assured to forlorn and desperate.

A desperate hope may not be irrational. If it's the "only chance", for example of survival, then playing the majority odds and quietly waiting to die would not be automatically considered as acting in denial.



Snakeasp
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01 Oct 2006, 1:40 pm

I think the difference is that denial stems from fear of what's actually true, whereas Hope stems from not being afraid because you can depend on something(i.e., If I said "I don't sin" I'm in denial, but I say "Jesus has forgiven my sins" therefore I have hope, yet I do not deny that I sin). Either way I wouldn't worry about it to much. I'm twenty years old and have had Aspergers since birth(duh :P ) in those twenty years I've struggled in some things, excelled in others. My brain isn't broken, it simply works differently. As I look back on my life, I wouldn't trade my mind for anything. If at this moment someone was extending me a pill and saying "take this and you'll be an NT" I'd say "No thanks, I'll remain as God made me". So you see their is no need for denial. Either way, you aren't sick, or have a syndrome. You are just a different kind of human. It just means that your unique, so their is no need to be afraid of AS. It means that you'll have some difficulties with others(particularly with NTs) but that will happen wether or not you accept your Aspiehood(woot for inventing a new word! :jester: ) And if it turns out your an NT then I hope this experience teaches you about us and is one step closer to a world in which NTs accept our differences and accept us for what we are rather than continuously trying to "cure" us by eradicating us.

I would highly suggest looking into something called "Neurodiversity". You may learn to look at asperger's, not as a syndrome, but more like being a different kind of person.


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MrMark
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01 Oct 2006, 1:42 pm

In such situations, I think it's a good idea to check your thinking out with one or two trusted confidants. I know I sometimes have difficulty judging what's reasonable and realistic.


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superfantastic
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01 Oct 2006, 1:47 pm

Erm, if I'm correct, SheDevil is not an aspie but the nice NT friend of an aspie.



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01 Oct 2006, 2:09 pm

She'd better - or else! :skull:


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superfantastic
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01 Oct 2006, 2:17 pm

Hey, come on, she's probably already uncomfortable enough posting here. Remember what you feel like as an aspie in the NT world.



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01 Oct 2006, 2:31 pm

I guess the difference would depend on the circumstances



krex
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01 Oct 2006, 2:56 pm

Denial...."not just a river in Egypt"....similar to definition of "insanity"....."repeatedly doing the same thing but expecting different results"...those are my contributions from AA....

Denial....playing the lotto and expecting to win this week
Hope......playing the Lotto and "hoping" you will win someday


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renaeden
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02 Oct 2006, 1:20 am

krex wrote:
Hope......playing the Lotto and "hoping" you will win someday

Denial.......Not playing Lotto and pretending that it doesn't exist.



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02 Oct 2006, 11:16 am

Denial....Not playing the Lotto but thinking you are going to win(I also use this approach when looking for a boyfriend or a job)


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SilentBedlam
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04 Oct 2006, 4:05 pm

Litigious wrote:
"The hope is a confusion of the wish for something to happen with the likelieness that it would happen." Schopenhauer


I always found Schopenhauer to be an interesting sort of man, having read some of the non-philisophical stories of his existence. Unfortunately, I also found him to be monumentally depressing, but I suspect he had some leave to be so, given his unfortunate famillial situation.


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04 Oct 2006, 4:50 pm

Hmmm, denial and hope, I would say that probably it is best to face things as they really are. i.e. if something has happened which makes you nervous or worried, for example, you can't deal with it if you pretend it hasn't happened. That is where hope comes in, to accept something, and move on with hope. You can often find hope, or at least something positive, in tough situations, once you've had time to think things through. Talking to people you trust can often help you get a different perspective on things.