My Mom hates my Aspergers

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My mother thinks of my Aspergers as an anomaly, and she knew I had it ever since I was born. She scolds me when I display symptoms, whether in public or in the privacy of my own home. Sometimes she mocks my actions and makes herself look as mentally unbalanced as possible, in some vain attempt to teach me not to do it. She does not understand me and believes that I can control it. One time, she referred to it as though it were a separate being. "What is it doing?" she said. How can I show her that it cannot be controlled or suppressed? The doctors told her everything to know about it, but she pretends to not know a thing about it, and asks the same questions over and over. Personally, I believe that I cannot bring her to realize that it is inborn. If she keeps denying what I am in her mind, then that is her problem, not mine!
Anyone have any thoughts, comments, or suggestions?

i would try and find a problem with her(your mom). maybe you could relate your asperger's with the problem your mom has. That's what i would do, but maybe it depends on the mom. Is your mom ignorant of other things? (i'm going to bed, so i won't respond until tommorow.)

When I was growing up...no one knew what AS was....my mom was pretty much the same but she at least had the excuse of "not knowing"....I dont know if I can offer any advice...Except that your mom acting like a "moron" is doing so because she doesnt want you to go through life dealing with being AS and she thinks she can change that....um...it's called denial,but a lot of moms have it....usually it is out of love,even if it feels the opposite.I think your mom should consider getting some counseling for herself...as you said...it is her problem,but she is making it your problem,not very helpful,given that you have enough issues of your own to deal with.

One thing I would disagree with,to some extent.....you can make some changes...with time,love,patience and support...you will be able to make more improvements then with constant criticism.A lot of adults with AS have learned to make positive changes,can even pass for NT for periods of time,some work and have familys....it is individual,so dont stop challenging yourself.

It sounds like she needs counseling.

Yeah, she needs counseling.

Id tell her "sure Ill stop having aspergers syndrom when you show me how easy it is to change your own brains physical structure by making yourself have schizophrenic hallucinations on demand then change back to normal.. go ahead Im waiting".

But thats just me and Im notorious for being direct and blunt

I always find it amazing how when anyone has some kind of problem, particularly one that isn't easy to define, unlike, say, paralysis, they assume that the person is "choosing" to be that way. My Dad always told me to be normal as well. Turned out he felt bad for me, and he couldn't bear to accept that I had this problem. I also knew a girl who’s parents felt the solution to her anorexia was to start eating normally again (it's too late, that's why people die from it), and I've also been advised that the best way to cure my insomnia is to lie down and go to sleep. I think the most common reason people get like this is because they don't have the brainpower to empathize properly. THEY don't have that problem, and therefore, neither do you.

Anyone remember that quote mocking this attitude in the first X-Men movie? I believe it was something to the effect of "Have you tried, you know, NOT being a mutant?"

At any rate, whatever in her thought process has lead her to the belief you don't have any problem, it obviously isn't a logical one, given that doctors had told her otherwise. Exploit this. Explain to her you've been diagnosed with this. Print out info from reliable web sites describing the symptoms she makes fun of. Just be sure to be friendly about it. No need to get nasty. If you get nasty, you're making it harder for her to admit she's wrong. The idea is to make it easier to admit it, rather than simply convince her. She already knows you're right.

My father denies my Asperger's. He flatters me for my intelligence instead. Don't know if that's any better. At the same time he's overprotective and I'm 35 years old...

By making "it" separate she feels she can simply cut it out, kill it, or cage it away from you, or more directly, away from her. She is seriously in denial and needs to have some counseling. It could also be an early sign that her denial is weakening, by admitting that "there IS something", but that may just be wishful thinking on my part.

I feel for you, growing up without support. One of your best possible sources of compasson and aid has turned her back on you. I might be able to understand her if you were still two or three, but you're old enough to use keyboard and she STILL has a problem with reality.

I hate to give up on people, but YOU are the one who needs (deserves?) help, not so much her. I think you can be "saved". I hope you can learn to laugh at how ridiculous she has been treating you. Your courage is admirable.

You are definitely not alone. There's a little boy in a group I belong to who's mother is a jewel, but his dad is a total jerk. He says, everytime I see him, that this is an invented disease and we didn't have any of this crap when he was younger. I just want to deck him, but then I would be the "Bad Guy".

Hang in there the best you can. It will get better.

Begin developing plans now for your independence. Putting some distance between you and your mother will help. While you're here, visit problem with parent.

I think that's horrible.. to be treated like that by your own mother.. .if it was me I would get out, never talk to her again, the stupid b***h might then realise how much she's lost.

This is exactly it. If people can't see a particular illness or condition, then to them, it therefore can't really exist, and the person in question must be doing it deliberately, or, at the very least, not trying hard enough to combat it. Think how many people you hear about who have suffered with even temporary mental conditions, and had trouble with their employers or their insurance because the organization basically refused to believe that there was anything wrong (as they would have done if the person was, say, in a wheelchair).

Gwenfloor, I hope this doesn't come over as insulting to your family in any way, but your mom sounds awful.

your mom is an anti as
you have as and as is you as well as me and every one else here
ingnor it
yet more pros to my anti nt movement
nts are ignorent and counterprducktive
so down with them
so up with the as
pm me if you have something to say or to help me in my plit

I'm sorry to hear that!

How can your mother be mocking your AS?

Why is she calling it a separate being?

It is part of you, and it is what makes you unusual.

I really dislike people like your mother.. you didnt ask to be the way you are its the result of the choices your mother made before you were born and yet she'd rather blame you than take responsibility for the consequences of her actions.

Exactly.

I'm kinda lucky and have a mother who loves me along with my 1 brother and 2 sisters equally as much.

She understands and me and her have a special bond. I have my mother's traits and she says we are tuned on the same frequency as each other.