Who has it easier in your opinion...women or men.

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About him not being mature enough, he was 30 at the time, he had had plenty of time to develop some maturity.

Also you say that maybe he was taken by surprise at me showing overt interest. well all i said was "yes, we could have lunch on Saturday." It is not like i started sending pictures of wedding colours to him, so how is that overt?

About my interest not being reciprocated, well it was reciprocated, but clearly only on his terms. And it is not like the guy was strange, as I have had this happen to me a few times, and I have seen a number of female friends have crappy dating experiences happen to them too.

The fact is, the dating world is a jungle for both genders. Even many people who are married find themselves back in it if their marriage breaks up.

I think that AS men in particular have it hard though for specific reasons, related to their difficulties in communication.
Then again I have had some relationships fail with men who were very empathetic and thought i was some sort of terrible robotic being.


So, to sum it up, the dating world can be fun, or it can really suck, depending on whether you are in a dry patch or not.

People of both genders can behave well, or badly, depending on how plentiful their options are.

One can look pretty, dressed in a Kinks Tshirt.

How is this topic related to autism anyway?


I love it how everything I post in this forum is related to ASD/AS/NVLD and neurological disorders in general and I usually receive no more than 20 replies.

OTOH... "fluff" like this which belongs on the Cosmo magazine forum, or at least, on the adult forum, random forum, etc...gets hundreds of posts sometimes.


We also have threads with titles like "do you blink your eyes alot?"

Then ten people reply "yes" and seems like there's a collective implication that people with AS blink their eyes alot.


In any case....why bother asking a question like this? There is no meaningful answer as each one will be wholly subjective no matter what and a few will be bias+subjective.

The fact that he was 30 just makes him even stranger, and if this exact phenomenon is a common experience for you then (assuming you don't live in a country with a radically different culture to mine) I suggest that you've been around some strange guys. The other points in my post were about the possibility of being rejected by men who are not particularly strange, perhaps to account for other experiences that you refer to.

None of this is particularly disagreeable, but I don't see what relevance it has.

Judging from my observations, Aspies and auties of both genders have an equally cruddy time when it comes to dating and relationships of all kinds.

He was not strange at all, he was good looking, well educated, successful. Perhaps you find this behaviour strange because you are a very straightforward person, and you would behave in a straightforward way. But many people live in a complicated social and emotional world which we dont understand. Many games are played. People are not straight with each other and noone really knows what is happening in someone's head, so as a result people act in incredibly weird ways while dating. It is something I have seen happening quite a bit.

I have both AS and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and I am not able to support myself. At 46. my parents support me. I think that if I was a man that would feel even more shameful. Yes, I know it's not my fault, but I feel very sheepish about it nevertheless. I think a man in my position would be made to feel even more like a loser.

I know that we live in a sexist society where men have quite a few advantages, but I guess I feel like some things are not judged as harshly in women.

HAHA you think those are the only pressures on women?

How is the last one (get to make 1st move) a pro? Especially for a person with Aspergers?

And I have to disagree with you on attractiveness, just my opinion. I know many men (including myself) who will take what they can get. If I was a women, my only worry would be staying in shape and wearing make-up. As a man, I've yet to find a woman who is into fat men. They might SETTLE, but I've never met one who prefers it. I know plenty of men, who like heavier women.

No.

Most of these things have nothing to do with being a women. You are not forced to wear make-up or dress fashionable. any more than men. Women seem to think men care about these things. You should admire...that people admire your breasts. I wish people were as attracted to me as they obviously are to you. Seriously, you consider men finding you attractive a bad thing? I'm more than an obese man, with a beard, but that's all women seem to seem to notice about me. Talk about a double-standard. People asking you why you are not married yet is also a compliment, that is not a con. Nobody thinks that about women, who aren't married, that's just what women like to think. How is any of this fair?

Neither.

Women by far. As much as the media criticizes the "war on women" in real world conditions women have more power than men. Lets do a couple of examples.
Job interview.
Man goes in dressed up for an office position, talks about why he should have the job blah blah. Woman goes to do the same thing and can if she so wishes to gain an advantage by being flirty to the guy interviewing her while having the same credentials as the man. She is more likely to get the job and theyll call it "being more sociable"

dating.
Last i checked men are usually the ones to get rejected and there are always chubby chasers out there. Again women can use the power of sexual apeal to get things from the men be it a beer or a dinner maybe a movie, again not always the case but it does happen quite a lot.

Orange.

i'm sorry....( especially for bumping this thread lol) , but: since when being a woman equates being pretty? never met any ugly woman?
ok, then my opinion: it's easier for men because they all look like brad pitt. all they have to do is wear sunglasses and a white shirt, and a crowd of horny girl gathers. if i was a man, my only concern would be to wear sunglasses. whereas as a woman, i have to raise kids 24/7 and not have a life if i want society to accept me . how is that fair?

QFT by the way, i just loved this