List one NT thing you do not understand.

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jpfudgeworth
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30 Sep 2010, 8:13 pm

I dont understand when I use synonyms for words and ideas that people have said to me, and they act like Ive misunderstood them.



yellowLedbetter
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01 Oct 2010, 10:47 am

I'm sure this has been mentioned before but I'll say it anyway
I really don't understand small talk - or talking for the sake of talking. Like when I go to get my hair cut - it's such a laborious task for me because I'm under pressure to talk the whole time.



Flyingladder
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01 Oct 2010, 1:48 pm

I do not see the point of small talk,

I will never understand how people wear clothes that are uncomfortable looking.

I will never understand why it isn't ok to sit on the ground where-ever.



jpfudgeworth
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01 Oct 2010, 3:38 pm

yellowLedbetter wrote:
I'm sure this has been mentioned before but I'll say it anyway
I really don't understand small talk - or talking for the sake of talking. Like when I go to get my hair cut - it's such a laborious task for me because I'm under pressure to talk the whole time.


I actually started cutting my own hair, partly to avoid the torment of small talk.



willmark
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01 Oct 2010, 4:22 pm

TheDoctor82 wrote:
willmark wrote:
TheDoctor82 wrote:
CockneyRebel wrote:
How they show very little empathy for us, yet they expect us to have empathy for them.


this, completely

For me to empathize with you, I must find something in me that is like you, or similar enough that I can create a mental image of what it is like to be you and then mentally run this created image in various circumstances and try to figure out how you probably think, and how it feels to experience from your point of view. Of course discovering how it feels to be other people is a hobby of mine. That's one reason why I visit here.

One reason for this 'we / they' mentality that goes on here, I expect, is because most NTs have little in their own experience to relate to what you experience, and visa versa. NT's empathize easily with other's experiences that they recognize in themselves. That doesn't take any effort.


yet you're still expecting it from us? :roll:

I don't expect anything from you, except what you already are.



willmark
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01 Oct 2010, 8:59 pm

jpfudgeworth wrote:
I dont understand when I use synonyms for words and ideas that people have said to me, and they act like Ive misunderstood them.

Can you give me any examples?



willmark
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01 Oct 2010, 9:12 pm

Flyingladder wrote:
I do not see the point of small talk,

There are people who are made to feel comfortable when hearing it, or by being involved in it. I don't see much use in it either, but I have learned to use it as a tool to put others at ease who are around me, and sometimes I can use it to put a smile on their face and on rare occasions get them think lovingly about me. People's thoughts are energy, and if they are thinking about me gratefully, I feel it in them, and it can be a huge energy boost for me, believe it or not.



jpfudgeworth
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01 Oct 2010, 9:50 pm

willmark wrote:
jpfudgeworth wrote:
I dont understand when I use synonyms for words and ideas that people have said to me, and they act like Ive misunderstood them.

Can you give me any examples?


Sure. Recently, someone was talking to me about being aggressive, and berating people to get what he wants, using those specific words. I told him that being hostile isnt a good idea and he said, "I never said hostile."

I find myself in situations like that all the time. Part of understanding someone, to me, is putting what they say into my own words and hopefully achieving a deeper understanding because of it. Some people really dont see it that way.



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01 Oct 2010, 9:56 pm

jpfudgeworth wrote:
willmark wrote:
jpfudgeworth wrote:
I dont understand when I use synonyms for words and ideas that people have said to me, and they act like Ive misunderstood them.

Can you give me any examples?


Sure. Recently, someone was talking to me about being aggressive, and berating people to get what he wants, using those specific words. I told him that being hostile isnt a good idea and he said, "I never said hostile."

I find myself in situations like that all the time. Part of understanding someone, to me, is putting what they say into my own words and hopefully achieving a deeper understanding because of it. Some people really dont see it that way.


aggressive/berating and hostile are two different things? Really?

No, I usually hear this argument from people who can't give me a clear example because they have no really decent answers...I usually wind up resenting them too.



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06 Oct 2010, 11:20 am

They always seem to fall in love with someone every time they go on holidays abroad, but whenever I go away on any holiday there never even seems to be a chance I'll ever meet someone to fall in love with.
Even my auntie went on holiday single, and came back claiming she's in love (and she shows lots of AS symptoms).

So it ain't the AS what stops me meeting people on exotic holidays - it must be my stupid luck


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06 Oct 2010, 12:17 pm

KissOfMarmaladeSky wrote:
DaWalker wrote:
I do not understand the entertainment value of bullying.


I know! What is so entertaining about destroying one's fire or will to live, anyone? If you know the answer, please tell me!


Bullies are like Dementor's from Harry Potter. The feed on the negative energy they create in others. The destruction of one's fire or will to live is what creates the negative energy.



Academaniac
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10 Oct 2010, 12:12 am

I don't offer my hand when meeting someone. Hand-shaking seems pointless.

I don't ask others how they are, unless it's someone I'm close to. I'll simply say hi. (Though I'm slowly changing this because it's soically expected to ask how one is doing.) I dislike when a stranger asks me how I am. I know they don't care, so why ask?

I dislike people calling me for absolutely no reason. I hate talking on the phone. I think I dislike it even more when someone calls me in an emotional breakdown though. At least in person, I've learned to hug others when they are upset. On the phone, I have absolutely no idea what to say except "I'm sorry for you.". I'll repeat it often.

I dislike when they ask for my advice and then ignore it.



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10 Oct 2010, 2:10 am

I don't understand why most NT's have such a short attention span. It seems like everytime I get into a topic of some depth and interest to me something happens (like the waiter coming to take people's order), then after the interruption nobody wants to go back and finish what we started. Instead, to my dismay, someone will start remarking about something mundane and trivial. I wouldn't mind having a 3-4 hour philosophical discussion but NT always seem to want to wrap things up after 20 minutes or less.

I also don't understand male NT's with a certain personality. The type that always has to make a joke or seemingly-witty retort to every single thing you say. That or you ask a serious question and they give some trite slightly pompous opinion that they clearly haven't given much thought into. Why the hell can't some people just be REAL? Are they being this way on purpose? Are they just as*holes? Then why are there so many of them?



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10 Oct 2010, 4:13 pm

How NTs can moan and whinge about anything they want to eachother and they just get listened to, but when I moan (or barely moan) about something, and they just say, ''stop moaning!'' all the time, whatever the subject is.
The other day I saw one of my colleagues go upto another one of my colleaues and start moaning about something very trivial, and they just listened - but I know full well that if that was me moaning about the same thing, they will just say, ''oh stop moaning!''

It really winds me up when people say that to me because moaning is a big part of communication. If people never used those 2 annoyed words, I think I would be a better communicater.


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10 Oct 2010, 4:29 pm

Quote:
I don't understand why most NT's have such a short attention span. It seems like everytime I get into a topic of some depth and interest to me something happens (like the waiter coming to take people's order), then after the interruption nobody wants to go back and finish what we started. Instead, to my dismay, someone will start remarking about something mundane and trivial. I wouldn't mind having a 3-4 hour philosophical discussion but NT always seem to want to wrap things up after 20 minutes or less.


Oh my god - this is exactly me aswell! :D That always happens to me. When I'm in a room with my family and we've got the telly on, they will all be talking and laughing and I would be sat there quietly, then I garentee you that when I open my mouth, an advert or something like that will come on the telly what they like, and someone will say, ''sshh a minute - I like this!'' That annoys me. I find it hard enough to join in a conversation as it is, without something always distracting them when I do manage to open my mouth.

Also I hate it when they're talking about something really interesting and I'm enjoying listening to the interesting conversation - then somebody, say for example, suddenly says, ''oh I've got an ache in my arm,'' then the subject completely changes. After the person said that, someone else would say, ''yer, my arm hurt last night,'' then someone else would say, ''yer - I tell you what I keep getting: a really bad pain in my foot.....'' and then they're talking about their aches and pains which is boring.
But if that was me who said, ''oh I have a pain in my arm,'' they'll just look at me and say, ''yer whatever'' and carry on their conversation. I've never, ever been able to change the subject before - but NTs do it all the time. Then if I complain about it, they'd get sarcastic and say, ''fine! We will all listen to you go on about your obsession then!! !''

It's like things are always timed right for when the Aspie speaks.
Or, it's like NTs always assume that we want the spotlight to be on us so we can talk about crap. They forget that if they gave us a chance they might find all we're trying to do is join in.


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10 Oct 2010, 5:34 pm

The way that they swear at people who don't like bad language.


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