I ACCEPTED and gave up

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I was out for a night on the town, hit up the club scene with a few childhood friends, just looking around at all the people socializing like there was no tomarrow, so much hapiness they had, so much social power, i gave up and give up, I cant compare, putting together words and sentences and body language to a stranger is harder then calculus to me.

Last edited by Corp900 on 10 Oct 2010, 2:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Wow, you have freinds that will go clubbing with you - perhaps you have more social power than you know.

I have 3 freinds in the whole world - there are some others that know of my existance but by friend I mean someone who may return a phone call if you leave a message. 2 of these poeple live in other provinces. Technically I know 1 person in this province who is my friend, and he works so hard to take care of me that there is no time or money to ever go do something like that.

no buddy, i gaveup

I used to go out with buddies too, but I was never on the same wavelength as they. I never felt like I truly belonged or was accepted. I was just there to experience, 'nose pressed against the window pane looking at people sitting around the cozy, warm fireplace inside' sort of thing. I knew it was impossible for me to truly fit in and belong, so it was always halfway and never complete. Too much went against me and I was never outgoing enough to try my darndest to change the situtation. I never thought it would do any good. When I tried before, it never did. So, I would just go, not expecting much. I knew years later I would have the memory of actually going instead of pagefuls of staring at the walls of my bedroom or the television, or singing at the top of my lungs to my fave songs.
Sometimes the experience is all that matters.
The best thing about going was all the dancing I did. I lost about twenty pounds doing that. The worst thing was the cigarette smoke in my hair. The clubs were full of heavy smokers.

Yeah, I give in to despair every day

Everyday I compare myself to NT's- thats foolish! Its like a black person wanting to be white, pointless.

I accepted you too BTW

Last edited by Surfman on 10 Oct 2010, 5:00 pm, edited 1 time in total.

The acceptance is the key. Not to compare social difficulties with alcoholism, but I remember someone saying " OK, you've admitted that you're an alcoholic, now do you accept it"? It was a good point.

I have accepted there may not be anyone out there for me and I'll probably never achieve what society expects me to. Once I realized this and was OK with it, I was free to settle in with a good book.

Why would you want to be able to go clubbing? It's a stupid thing NTs do anyway. It's good you've given up pretending to be something you aren't, maybe you can focus on making the most of your Aspie powers now, eh?

And, P.S.: clubbing is something a lot of NTs think is stupid, too.

It depends on what kind of club you go to. I was into alternative music and "dressing weird" so I thought certain clubs would be full of people "like me" because society, I thought, was full of boring, mundane types whom I felt especially alienated from. So clubbing became this way to find people 'like me' or so I thought, only nobody truly clicked with what I thought I was. I was on a quest for the perfect ones who were exactly like me and who be devoted to me or something like that. I kept expecting to find a conjoined twin seperated at birth, I guess. I was a bit too idealistic. What I found were people I perceived as more mundanity only this time, in weirder clothes. It was like looking for the fountain of youth. I never found what I was looking for. I went to the clubs hoping to find something that didn't exist.

Damnit, no YouTube video for Clubland. That's nee good. Ah well. *makes vague gesturing motions to rank title* Clubs. I'm with Morrissey.

I used to go out clubbing with friends to try and be "normal", until I realised I absolutely hated it and would much rather be at home playing wow.

I'd much rather be resting up for the next day, than go out clubbing.

Do you want to be like them and have the interest for pub life, or is it simply peer pressure to be in a certain way that makes you feel down? When I feel that powerful energy of peer pressure around me, I feel an urge to say something crazy or hurtful, something which I know would rattle the cages around me, just because I want to move against the tide. Usually, I hold it off today, since it tend to have boomerang-like effects.

If you want to train your social skills, join a political or social group in your vicinity and meet at a calmer place, one without any sounds so you have to [b]SHOOOOUUUUT/b] to make yourself heard.

Yeah, it's a BIG mistake to assume you should be wanting and doing the same things NTs are. You're not NT; why are you judging yourself by their standards? Just because they tell you something is desirable, you believe it must be true? I can't really blame you for doing that, of course, because most people simply don't think that any other possibility exists or that any other standard matters; that the things that "everybody knows" are "common sense" must be true... but think. What assumptions are you making about yourself and what you should want, that are based on little more than the majority's opinion?

I used to go clubbing with people but now I'm focused on other things in life.

I work, so I can't go clubbing every night.