Constantly being ignored.

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I constantly get the impression that there is something about me that other people find very repulsive. Like there's something everyone knows that I don't. I've had someone meet me once and be all friendly and nice, but later on they moved and suddenly blocked all contact with me.

Additionally, I have joined this group on Facebook called "Autism, Asperger's and More, Oh my!" and on the website, there was the poem "I am Autism" up, which is the narrative of the dreaded Autism Speaks video. I have 6 friends on Facebook who are part of the group. I was part of that group, until someone sent me a message about that page, and I sent it out to all of my Facebook friends who were fans of that page. Only one of my friends left the page, and another one said "thanks for telling me that, and I'll reconsider". A month later, I checked the page again and she was still part of the group.

Another time, I was looking around the Asperger's Society of Ontario page on Facebook and found this discussion thread where someone I know asked if there were any groups in Toronto and a woman replied with the location of an event that took place the same day I saw that post (when I discovered it, I immediately went there because it was nearby, but it was in the evening when I found the information so I was already too late). In her message in that discussion thread, she sounded very willing to help, having replied very quickly, and I think that she even said that if he needed any help he could just message her. Anyway, I messaged her first and asked her if she actually attends the groups, and she told me that she doesn't but she is on the mailing list for the invites. I then asked her to do me a favour, to send me the information about the next outing, and she did not reply back.

There was also this woman on Wrongplanet who is from Toronto with whom I started talking last summer over private messages. I randomly found her and messaged her, and she seemed really nice at first. We decided to meet up, and she offered a coffee shop. I was scared of coffee shops at that time, because I've never been in one before, and thought that they are too noisy. She then suggested the beach, and I said that would be fine. At that point, I don't know what I did wrong. Maybe it was the rashness of my suggestion to meet up, maybe it was the oddness of the fact that I didn't want to meet in a coffee shop, but she suddenly began ignoring my messages. I tried to add her on Twitter, and she blocked me from following her! At that point, though, I've never met another Asperger's person, so that's why I was so eager to meet her. I thought that maybe because she's older, she would be able to give me some coping advice, because I was really struggling back then.

There were several other things like that happening to me over the years. Today, I've been trying to message someone else about talking on the phone again. We haven't talked in about half a year, and when I saw him last week, he seemed happy about talking to me. He sent me a message on Facebook, I replied saying that he could call me at a certain time and gave him my phone number. He hasn't called, and I tried contacting him again today, but it seems like he's completely ignoring me, because I can see that he is online in the chat feature.

Yes, I'm obsessive, and yes, I'm highly sensitive. I like to meet people face-to-face instead of e-mails because that way, I am more likely to find out what they think about my behaviour without all the weird ignoring and blocking. I really don't know what I am missing, though. I can't help but feel that it's my extraversion that people find highly annoying. I am genuinely interested in people, though, and that's why I've become so social. Things like this really, REALLY hurt me, though.

I need help figuring out what's wrong with me, because I can't stand going through life like this anymore. I want to solve this problem once and for all.

For now, I've had to close down my Facebook because it's become too stressful and has started to take up a lot of my valuable time in my obsessive checking cycles.

Last edited by MathGirl on 12 Oct 2010, 1:08 am, edited 1 time in total.

Maybe a bit overbearing? You yourself said 'extroversion' and thats often a clue.

Whats your birthdate? I'm aries and I can be forceful

It's on my profile. I'm an Aquarius, so I don't really see a lot of myself in the sign.

Aquarius Goats

Aquarius weds the Goat. Clarity and sensitivity, knowledge and whimsy. This solid marriage of complementary signs is rich with possibilities. Aquarius brings a dowry of independence to the inconsistent Goat, whose byword is dependency. Goat carries emotional depth with him to the wedding. This Aquarius can feel more profoundly than most. And his Goat identity benefits from an electrical charge of true Aquarian autonomy. This person will be gifted for futuristic planning, oblivious to social criticism, and capable of maddening individuality. Invention belongs to this person. He or she can imagine novel solutions to common problems and work through weeks night and day getting the concept on its feet. And Love? The poor Aquarius/Goat never seems to get enough of it. He gobbles sex. He is known to be fickle and further not to understand why his mate is jealous. He's not jealous. He's openhearted and free thinking. Marriage for this person is "iffy" at best.

Um, here's the thing. I've been obsessive before but it was back in my teens so I dont know if you're older or younger. Also, if I was obsessive, I liked them. Plain and simple, they were girls I thought who were cute, or what not. Either way, thats how the world IN GENERAL views it. If you're overly friendly to someone, you like them, or you're inviting them to think that way(with cruel or no intent). You could just like their personality and want to hang out to talk or whatever, doesnt matter. You have made this scene feel like it could be amorous in intent(going for a love spark).

Also, with the facebook, its hard not to check up on your friends and sometimes you're just lookin on your wall. But you're taking this too far. You shouldnt care so much how ANOTHER person chooses to think. Now if they were in a group for murdering autistic babies, ok, rile the troops, and make sure no one joins that group. This isn't that. This is you "CRYING FOR ATTENTION", but your parents didnt teach you how. And you wonder why its happening to you, truth be told, its everything you're doing. You cant act like this in society and expect to be accepted. It wont happen. Society is majority rule and most people dont act like that.

You cant FORCE people to talk to you or like you or keep in contact. People in the "real world" have jobs and friends from those. They went to college and they made friends there. They have enough friends if you're older. If you're younger, tone it down, and be more energetic in what makes you great, not seem "stalkerish". Remember, curiosity killed the cat. If you dont know what you're looking for, dont expect to find something nice. Sorry, but the truth usually hurts, bad...

Interesting. I am sensitive, but that's all there really is to it. I'm not really creative. I prefer to stay conformist in most things except for my obsessions, where I can take my own path just because I have the knowledge necessary in order to take that path. I'm not whimsical, either. I lack any sort of "magical thinking". My own thinking is just way too rigid and unflexible.

With deepest respect, astrology is nonsense.

okay

WHY THE HELL IS THE SOCIETY SO EMOTION-DRIVEN? I don't get love and relationships. All I really seek is to be constantly mentally stimulated. And books aren't always engaging enough for me. I need more interactivity, and I don't know where to get it. And now my interest is the human mind, which even makes things worse.

I remember trying to find biology-related video games back when I was into biology. When studying languages, I always tried to make some kind of interactive quizzes/flashcards for myself. I constantly need to be engaged, not just taking things in. And when predictability backfires on me, I become obsessive.

I'm not seeking attention at all. I hate seeking attention. I'd rather just hide in the corner, but after a while of being in a passive state, I begin to feel like crap for some reason.

Last edited by MathGirl on 12 Oct 2010, 1:39 am, edited 1 time in total.

I can relate. I can obsessed with gathering information, even if nobody knows what it is. So much of my life is wasted trying to know "useless" facts, sometimes to the annoyance of others. It can drive me crazy.

If I've ever ignored anyone online it's usually because I don't have any comment to reply with, or I forget to reply, or I want to reply but I'm not sure what to say for one reason or another.

I'm currently consider whether or not to accept the friend request of a very old acquaintance. I never had a problem with this person. We got along fine in the past, but we weren't particularly close either.

same here

You sound very much like me at your age. You are coming accross as too eager likely, and that always throws people. You have to be a bit more low key and casual when you approach people. I had a lot of problems with people finding me too forward and avoiding me afterward. I'm still not sure of all the reasoning and I still do it sometimes. I know I have found that people who *really* want to be my friend set off this subliminal alarm that makes me want to run. Most people aren't going to second guess that feeling when they get it from someone, they are very much like animals in that they trust their instinct and are very difficult to win over once they've been spooked.
Sorry I don't have more/better answers for you, this is something I battle with myself.

Thanks for the responses. It's nice to see that there are people out there who can relate to me in this regard. I'm usually not very pushy with people, it's just that there are times that I decide that I'm going to, say, talk to someone on the phone and I already imagine myself talking to them, and when it doesn't happen, I get very distressed and begin to obsess.

Looking back, I think some of the things I've said in here were too extreme. At the time, I was very frustrated that my mind got out of control. I have experienced love before, it's just that I don't understand why the mainstream society is so fixated on emotions. Feelings can indeed take over, but for the most part, I think in a very rational way and always can't help but assume that other people think similarly.

Once, my mum forced me to go to this stupid summer camp thing so that her and my dad could go somewhere else alone for a week.

While I was there, everyone started talking to me, but a few days later they somehow figured out I was different and pretty much hated me for the rest of the week.

Go figure.

They didn't hate you, they were just being stupid. It's herd mentality, and it's everywhere. If they see that someone doesn't blend in, they will lose interest because they're scared of differences.