STORY OF ABUSE TO ANYONE WHO LISTENS

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whats your life story ?have you ever been abused and hurt whether it sexual,mental,physical,verbal abuse or just plain bullying? i have been looking for someone who shares the pain that i do, because of the abuse they have suffered from the ingnorent people that dont understand us aspies! I am 13 years old and have never had a real friend that understood why im different! I would be honored to tell my story of life if you will tell me yours. because I dont have anyone to tell. and I want to know that somone is out there listening. it gives me hope to know!! !! !! thank you!

Though I have experienced some abuse, it's been very little. I'm sure others here have fared far worse. I am listening, however.

I don't talk about this often but I had a nanny who used to lock me in the bathroom as a time out and she did the same to my baby brother as well. Sometimes she put us both in there but she put him in there and not even bother to turn on the light. She keep him in there and hold the handle shut as he be screaming and he got afraid of the dark. It took him years to get over it after he learned why he was so scared of the dark. I bet he was happy when I told that story. My parents were actually shocked because for six years I never told them until I was 11 and it explained to them why he was so scared of the dark. They could never figure out why.

But me, I always turned on the light when she put me in there. She also used to slap me around literally and I used to hide in my parents bedroom closet when she be there. My little brother did too. I don't remember what else she did.

My uncle who lived with us at the time (my mom's brother), he knew about this too and never told her because he didn't know what she did was wrong (he knows nothing about raising kids). My dad was home when it happened because he worked at home in his office and he had no clue what went on in our house. he was hyper focused in his work. And I couldn't talk well so how could I tell her? Then when I could finally talk, it never occurred to me to say something about it. I didn't know I was supposed to.

Then there was bullying I have gotten from other kids and a day care teacher I had who didn't really like me so I had problems at daycare and she was all wishy washy. One day she be nice and the next day she be screaming at me. I don't really remember what happened between us two. Just not us getting along lol and the fact I be hurting other kids and not being able to take a nap because I hated naps so I be running around and the teachers chase after me. Then I was kicked out of daycare. All those years I thought I was a bad kid there until my mom told me it wasn't me, it was the teacher. She didn't want to work with me nor understood me. Only thing I can remember between us is me wanting to keep my shoes on during nap time and the teacher come along and start pulling on my boots and I be holding onto them but she always won because my arms would get sore from holding onto my boots. Then she put them on the top shelf.

I say the real abuse I had was my nanny. I just had a ignorant daycare teacher who was too lazy to work with me and I got bullied by other kids. I have never gotten beaten up by any, not anything you see on the news about bullies. Plus I had staff who discriminated me by treating me different than the other kids so I fought hard to be treated normal.

that is so brave of you to be fighting for normal treatment,i used to run around at naptime too sorry i know im not saying much. im just use to messing up social coversations so i avoid it by not saying anything. thank you!

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We were a pretty strange and uninvolved family. so though I stood out I stood out less than I might have. I always figured everybody else had the same discomforts I had, or at least equivalents. I did not really encounter much [unless you count my younger sisters ganging up on me] until 7th grade, when I was increasingly picked on in various ways. By that time I had evolved ways of getting out of range [long hours spent alone in the woods, for example].

But I did not meet another until I was about 32 - that was life changing. Now I have a small circle of like people to talk with.

You are not alone. We are outnumbered, but we know who we are.

The summer that I was 12, my parents decided that they hated my Cockney-like speech patterns, and every time that I opened my mouth to speak they said, "DON'T TALK THROUGH YOUR NOSE" or "YOU'RE TALKING THROUGH YOUR NOSE, AGAIN!" One time 8 months later, I proudly said to my mum, "I have a bit of a Cockney accent!" The b***h said, "We can fix that." You're not a real mother, than...thanks for loving and accepting me...NOT!

my mom and dad used to call me weird and an airhead and a stupid twit and dumbass and stuff. the worst was being called a worthless piece of s**t. one of my sisters was called a slut. my mom was worse to one of my sisters because my sister stood up to her. my mom would slap her and once punched her (chipped her tooth), and even broke her door. i tried hard to be the good one so i would not get physically hurt.

it was chaos as my sisters and my mom all tried to get my dad's attention. my sisters and i bullied and hurt each other when left to our own devices, which was most of the time. i was the youngest so maybe i was sort of vulnerable. my dad spent every night drunk and every day hung over. he hated his life, and we were part of that life.

my dad never touched us in a bad way, but my psychiatrist explained that he was sexually inappropriate to us, and he called it sexual abuse. we knew about the kinds of sexual things he liked, when he was doing them, and who he did them with. as a family we watched Restricted Adult (not porn) movies with sex scenes together from the time i was 10 or 11. my dad was always checking out hot women and making growls and catcalls at women even when we were around.

but it wasn't until i had therapy last year that i really realized consciously how bad things were. my shrink said i must have known on a certain level because i never raised my daughter like that at all, so i had to possess some kind of knowledge things were messed up. but i had friends who had it way worse than me, so i figured that i shouldn't worry too much about it. it helps a lot to talk about it even now. thanks for starting this thread, and i hope you feel like people do care and will listen to you.

my mom wasnt abusive but my dad is my dad is a CHILD phychiartrist (not sure how to spell that lol) and a well respected one too so the courts would believe him over my mom and my sister recently confided in me that she had repressed memorys of sexual abuse i was lucky i never remembered it if i was my dad would slam my 15year old sister up againts a wall makeing backprobs even worse for her my dad is a docter so he can get trial doses of medicines and he would drug us with stronger stuff than morphine we would wake up and not know where we were or how we got there it was a nightmare and he also acts like a child its crazy the other day i made a joke on facebook about him and he blocks me and my sister sends a request to facebook requesting that i not be able to request any friends and erases me from his site what a childish thing to do my sister sent my aad a letter a day ago this is what it said "I've been on a hunt for answers lately, trying to deal with old memories that won't seem to leave me alone anymore.
It's amazing what is in the divorce binders. It's amazing what's in my old diaries. It's amazing that you never went to prison for half of the stuff you did to us. Expecially with all the proof and all the testimonies.
Even your side of the family saw some of how you really were and we hardly ever even saw them.
I just hope Chelsea ( stepmom)has the strength to escape you and save Corey(stepbrother). I know how you work. Physical Abuse, then you shifted into the mindgames. You lie so much that you even believe your own sick lies. I hate you for what you have done to me.
You became a monster during the divorce once mom wasn't there trying to keep you sane. You are a sick person and I hate how you tried to break us. I love Chelsea so it's upsetting to see her change. I'm not suprised though, -I heard how
Chelsea seemed beaten down and broken the last time you were in Nebraska (Way to go treating your dad and sue like crap btw ), I remember when you had mom broken and speaking in a tiny voice for a while. Her soul leaking out as you tried
your best to destroy everything stong and good and happy inside her. Don't think I don't remember. No kid forgets if their mom acts like a zombie who had given up. I even wrote about it in my diary when I was a kid.
I remember it all dad. Mom never even knew the half of it.
How does it feel to know that YOU caused your two little kids to experience utter terror and hopelessness? Caused us let's see we have both cut ourselves trying to feel ANYTHING, I have been suicidal once, I don't know for sure about Holly(thats me) but I
think she has too. Not to worry, you never gave a crap about my sister. Not unless you could use her in some way that you could benefit from.
You probably don't feel to much emotion at all knowing that stuff. Because I'm sure you don't believe that you did what everyone says you did. That makes sense though, I wouldn't think anyone with a heart could live with themselves after
wounding those that loved you and needed you the most.
Thanks for pretending to give a crap about me being raped. You didn't bother to pretend to care with the actual case/trial but that's ok. I don't need fake words and I most certainly would not feel comforted with both my rapists with me
in court so it's ok. You raped my mind and he raped my body but I still have my soul and I hope to God that I get justice for at least one atrocity.
Anyways, I understand if Chelsea isn't able to have contact with me. I know you like to isolate your experiments. I still like her anyways. :] I'd say tell Corey I love him, but knowing you, it would probably be closer to "Hey Corey, It's ok, I
love you so so much never leave daddy. Your half-sisters are saying awful things about you again, don't worry, daddy loves you." Chelsea would probably be making dinner and taking care of the baby and trying not to cry because her feelings of
self-worth are fading and she can't leave you now because you tricked her and somehow she ended up with a child even though she always said no kids until she finished school. Interesting. To finish that little assumption scenario, you probably
would leave to go play basketball, and then Chelsea will let herself cry because crying doesn't effect you like it does to others, all crying does, is show you someones weak point. Their vulnerabillity.
-Heidi
P.S. What do you take the Klonopin for, dad? (I hope you are aware that it's illegal to prescribe for yourself or your family if you are a physician btw) I don't know if you are aware, but it's an EXTREMELY addictive drug prescribed for; correct me if
i'm wrong; Panic, Seizures and Schizophrenia. As far as I'm aware, you don't have any of those... Oh, shame on you for having Hol and I take it in the past, apparently it can be fatal for kids under 18. Huh. Also, I am not really cool that you have
given me Trazadone. That's kind of a heavy drug. You shouldn't play experiment on your children. *Please do the right thing and get your birth mother's medical history so you can provide something beneficial to your children. (And yes, We are still
your children. Just because we aren't all over your facebook page, doesn't mean you don't have responsibilities to us. I will pursue if you do not. I am having some pretty serious health problems and it would really help me out. -Heidi you are my brave hero sister

wow, that was incredibly brave of you to share that. thank you for telling your story.

((((hugs))))

i am so proud of your sister for speaking up to him in a letter too. it is amazing that you are able to put you experiences into perspective and start to recover from the abuse. the fact that you recognize the abuse for what it is and to recognize that he is a sick and twisted individual is a big step.

i hope you get lots of support IRL too, though i understand you may be skeptical of the medical and psychological community.

A "friend" of mine shanked me in the mall in my town. Underwear and all.

I'd like to list the stuff that has happened to me, mostly just bulling sibling and friendships crashing and burning. I dont feel strong enough right now though.

I'm so sorry for everyone's pain, so unnecessary if society was more accommodating of difference.

Mom was lovely. She regularly reminded me that I was useless and would never amount to anything. That I should never have been born. Dad was great too. I was a spaced out weirdo (spoken in the kindest of terms), according to him. Then there was the suppression of my excessive movement (stimming) that bordered on sadistic. Grandpa had atypical sexual proclivities that involved underage relatives.

Other than that, growing up was magical.

If you're looking for those who have shared the pain, check out some PTSD forums. It surprised me that most of the people there are not just soldiers from war.

The depths of pure evil that some people can do to others is almost beyond comprehension. Yet we are still here.

All throughout my school career I was bullied. One day I was hunted down by a mob. One day, I was shoved off the sidewalk into a busy roadway. One day I was ridden like a human sled down a hill covered in ice.

My dad never understood why I didn't want to fight back. So instead he beat me. My mum would go through boyfriends. The first one took all my toys and locked me in the attic. The second one choked me twice, and attempted to murder me with a knife after. My mum herself would drag me around the house by my hair.

My friends played nasty tricks on me because I was gullible. I was always the butt of the jokes. When I started standing up for myself, I was met with great hostility. After which I had no friends (except for online ones) for a few years.

Mother's side of the family was riddled with selfish drug addicts and dirty alcoholics. Whenever something went wrong, it always fell on my lap to stitch the family back together. Didn't help that everyone knew I was the smartest. Apparently that didn't get me any respect either.

Dad's side was full of uppity rich schmucks who already looked down on my dad (he was a biker) so, therefore vicariously they saw me as scum too. Luckily I only saw them for Christmas. After awhile we just stopped going.

I was abused growing up, I was thrown through walls, beaten unconscious over a missing brussel sprout or something equally trivial like a Diana Ross CD missing from it's case ( which my father hid btw) , kicked down the stairs, kicked up the stairs, on and on. The physical stuff was daily, if it wasn't me being beaten it was my mother or my older brother, the only person who was left alone for the most part was my sister, who attended boarding school ( she's PDD & dyslexic) which was full to the rafters with social workers and other busy bodies.

My mother eventually left him, but in doing so she left us alone with him. Not that I could ever blame her, had she not left when she did I'm certain he would of killed her, with my mother gone, that was one less person to shoulder the abuse, so consequently my father 'upped the anty' on my brother and I. The very worst would be watching him trying to strangle my brother, I would have to wrap my arms around my fathers neck to get him to ease off, did the job a treat. But it usually meant lights out for me. Eventually my brother left and it was just me and him.

I have some pretty nasty memories of sexual abuse as a very small child, that my sister also verified happened to her, not someting I would feel comfortable writting about. When I was in my early teens and it was just me and him in that house I would awaken in the night and be aware of him standing beside my bed fiddling with himself, he would then disappear and fiddle with himself some more downstairs leaving his mess for me to clean up in the morning before getting ready for school.

Any ways my father has asperger's (amongst other things, aspergers being the least of his problems), he's the most likely source of my asperger's and my sisters PDD. Having aspergers's and not being able to read his moods and seeing where the danger lies, and a uncontrollable need to correct him often meant that I was a huge source of his melt downs. It seems cruel, but I take pride that my aspergers (force) is/was stronger than his. And I did plot revenge frequently, for example I emptied three boxes of tacs onto his side of the bed ( I was 5! and kicking ass) , climb up onto the roof a kicked his self made satellite dish off ( he was pirating serves him right), if your going to get beaten over a brussel sprout you didn't take then you might as well do something that makes the beating worth it... good times.

The best way to find your way free for any kind of pain or trauma is to breakdown let it all out and then find the humour in it, at least that's what worked for me.

I haven't been diagnosed yet, but I am 14, probably am an aspie and have experienced bullying, so I will tell you my story.

I was a happy and healthy child, with no major problems with communication, and all the teachers and my family thought I was normal, just eccentric and independant. I talked and walked at the normal times, though my speech was very formal, and I never understood jokes, but they just thought I was being touchy. What they didn't know was the abuse I was getting from my peers and classmates.
Pre-school and reception, as I recall, were relatively peaceful, though I got teased a lot about my name (Caitlin) and my puny stature. And, naturally, I couldn't deal with the jokes. The most I did then was stick my tongue out at other kids. I got pushed around a lot, and beaten up by my older brother at home. Years one and two... well, I had had so many friends (though only one or two at a time), and I changed again. My ex-friend Alice was very upset, and went off crying, and I showed no remorse at all- friends were for convenience and guidance. My new friends... well, I was almost unaware that they had merely taken me under their wing and when I left that school, they forgot all about me. I can't tell you how much it hurt when I saw one of them when I hit high school, and they didn't remember me at all.
Year three was great. I made loads of friends, because at that age, it was acceptable to love crazy bones, football and pokemon and dress as a boy all the time. Year four was terrible, my parents split, my dad left and went into prison, and my mum got abusive. GREAT.
She hit me and swore at me frequently, and I was terrified I'd go into care- social workers kept coming to call. My mum eventually got better, but then her boyfriend moved in. Rude, insensitive and uncaring, he really brought out the aspie in me. My childish tantrums resurfaced, I said EXACTLY what I thought, and I didn't care if I was rude or if my daily routine interrupted other people's activities. Then I found a talent. In music. I started the violin, then the flute, then the recorder, then I joined a choir and three orchestras. I am grade 7 now, and play 1st flute, principle musician in the IW Orchestra.
I researched aspergers for a year, outlining the ways I fit the criteria before I told my mum, who promptly dismissed the idea. I kept mentioning it, but she thought there were too many labels being tossed around now and it would ruin my life. I feel so alone and I can't talk to anybody, I live in a madhouse where no-one talks to eachother, and everyone teases and shouts.

That was my story, I hope it ends well eventually... x