Pessimistic vs Optimistic

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I find that rather than using positive things to cheer me up on a bad day like: “the sun is shining” that continuing to list negative things helps to relax me and laugh at them. This may be because I am using the idea that if everything is bad then the bad things are not that bad anymore. Most people don’t seem to understand this and keep trying to get me to focus on the good things in life to cheer me up. I find when I try to think about the good things it makes me feel worse. I don’t know what to think about it, is it normal or rare and unusual, and even more so I have trouble expressing this to others who don’t understand that I like being pessimistic for that reason. Any thoughts?

Same here. I think positivity often comes off as something false/trite. That or it seems like an attempt to force me to pull the wool over my eyes or invalidate my concern in order to avoid addressing an issue realistically. Or it's one of those things people say when all else fails and they can't think of anything actually useful to say.

It's also true that negative humor cheers me up. George Carlin was one of the best.

I always think negatively. It has been this way since I was able to speak. I even have my own personal dance called the "Its not real" dance when something that the world prays is successful but never is like the business getting an investor or something that would make us better off. How about my art taking off......yeah right! Lets all do the INR dance!

I can see the logic in that. It's kind of like a Buddhist approach. Like if you think 'life is suffering' then when things go wrong or you feel crappy etc you're not disappointed because that's what you expected. When you have less expectations and thus less disappointments then you start to feel more happy. What's happening there is that the cause of suffering - wanting things to be 'better'- is lessening.

Just my thoughts.

Sometimes we just have to accept the bitter along with the sour, eh?!

You're a Stoic, and you didn't even know it.

"Negative visualization" would be the term for your thinking. It is used by Stoicism, Buddhism, and many others.

I totally understand where you are coming from. I feel like those who tell you to think positively no matter what is happening are basically telling you it is shameful to feel the way you must feel!! I realize in some cases you have to be less of a pessimist but if you are unhappy about something, my gosh, you need to express it!! Faking positivity I feel is not healthy! You need to feel your emotions, and then regroup after. There is nothing wrong with not being ms or mr merry sunshine all of the time.

Mir

"Hope for the best, expect the worst."

Wow, I admire you for that. For me, listing the bad things doesn't make them any less real or potent, it just amplifies my depression. In fact, I find that on my good days I tend to multiply and list the good things about my life, while on my bad days I list the bad things. Both times, my mood - good or bad - intensifies with this exercise. I like to fully immerse myself in my emotions and suck the marrow out of them.

I wish I was capable of doing that! lol
I respect it For me, though, that is more along the lines of looking at the bigger picture as opposed to all the little details. I can't do that. If I could, my mind would rest. To me, expecting and preparing go hand-in hand. As far as hope goes, I've always said if you don't have hope, you have nothing.

Nihilist

The glass and water are both equally meaningless, objectively; as is this, so are you, so... ~

Sorry, I am a sickeningly optimistic person.