A little help.

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I have some problems.
I dont know how to explain them. But i'll try.

im 20 years old and i need 2 credits to graduate highschool.
A Highschool in my town let me in but i dropped out because of my fear of people and my anxiety i have towards them.
4 weeks in... i dropped out... i've been telling my parental units im still in school.
I've been trying to prove to them that i have this condition. I've given them literature and pointed out things in my life that direct me more towards having this condition over Bi-Polar. You see... When i was really younger they told my parents i had ADD they put me on ritalin when i was 15 until the time i was 17 when it started to give me angry outbursts before that moment i was a completely calm and relaxed stoic person. They then put me on anti-depressants Paxil.. when i told them it was making me hear voices they put me on rispiradol. Eventually i tried to commit suicide because my parents were yelling at me about how i was never happy. how come i could never function or cope or in school... i dont know if you have any idea how it feels to try your absolute hardest and fail at everything you do. But its starting to hurt me... like... i moved out of my parents house shortly after my suicide. They tried to put me on Lithium in a Combonation with Zyprexa and i started to fell like a f*****g pez dispenser.
I just wish someone could tell me how i am susposed to cope with people and society and trying to convince the doctor that i actually have this disorder. I have been off medication for a year and a half and i have found that i am stoic calm relaxed again. But i still have all my anxieties. I've always had problems dealing with doing things at the same time everyday but i own like 8 pairs of the same clothes... i cant look people in the eyes and i have never been able to. I've been made fun of my entire life because of my inability to hold a directly emotive conversation. I have a hard time understanding my emotions and even really whats going on with me. I talked to a doctor who told me it could be aspergers and i became interested and i did research and im susposed to be getting back to him but i dont want to be diagnosed as bi-polar or anything again i dont like the restrictive feeling it causes my thoughts to have. I cant think anymore than what my mind blankness allows me to... it feels like the wires from my mouth to my brain lack connection and im speaking through the soul most of the time... i just need to know how one gets diagnosed properly i need help and i cant get it anywhere here... 20 and f****d i should just be homeless.

Why don't you return to the doctor who suggested asperger's since he's the one who brought it up.

I'm really sorry--it sounds like you've gone through some really hard things in life. My child is much younger than you are but we've lived with his pain as he's dealt with social and school anxiety plus a bad med reaction. Like yourself it took well over a year to get back to calm but happily those issues are all well in the past, at least for this stage of the game.

Do you have anyone at all in your life (like a relative, roommate or friend?) who could help you take the few next steps of seeing a doctor and help you get a plan in place to finish high school or the equivalent? Maybe go to a few appointments with you and talk you through anything that's holding you back? The reality of seeing a doctor for a diagnosis is that sometimes they don't agree with us and then we have to decide what to do from there. Sometimes even specialists who don't agree with us fully might have something to offer in terms of treatment or having a grasp on local resources.