Why don't I want people to know about my diagnoses?

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So why don't I want my friends and peers to know I have HFA, can anyone shed light on it as well?

Has anyone experienced the same problem, or are they the other way around, and tell everyone?

Should it make any difference to who I am?

I think if people know, then maybe it might impact on me.

Should I be afraid people will think of me as a nerd or social reject, who needs to be spoken to as a three year old child if they know about my HFA? (I'm not a nerd on any accounts, but then often the nicest people are nerds, hmm maybe I am nerdy then).

Once I had to go a speech therapist ( I am actually extremely well spoken for an Aussie as apparently I sound British, but apparently I also need to slow down my speech, which was why that I apparently needed therapy), and obviously the therapist knew that I had HFA, and she was incredibly patronising.
i.e: the therapist showing me a picture of a basket ball hoop and saying; " w-h-a-t i-ssss t-h-i-s?"
and then later on she says: "c-a-n y-o-u reeeead l-o-n-g b-o-ok-s?" and staring me painfully in the eye.
I mean, duh, I've been reading since I was three, and novels since I was five!

So do people here think this one experience indicates the way I will be treated in other situations?

please shed some personal experiences!! !
ps with the speech therapist, I refused to go back, and made quite a fuss over it.

I'm a British speaking Aussie too.

Your speech therapist was a douche, plain and simple.
Not everyone is like that. Some people go 'LOL' when I tell them, some go 'Aww' as if it's such a horrible thing, some say 'but you seem pretty normal', some are in denial and some just treat me normally.
I prefer people know. It makes me feel more comfortable around them.

Thanks!! ! Yay, another Brit Aussie

Ok, so the speech therapist is an outlier douche hehe, and people don't really judge you badly?

Yes, I'm not clearly Autistic either, so maybe people could be in denial- not sure if that's good or bad.

I'm not wanting any "awww" responses though...although maybe I can't pick and choose

One friend I use to have ( and still do, but don't see her often as at different school now) has Aspergers, and I didn't know until someone told me. And , maybe although because I also am on the spectrum, I honestly couldn't have cared less, as she still seemed the same awesome person. I wish everyone had the attitude as me

ps pensieve, I love your blogs, just read them, you sound so like me it's scary, but I guess that's the good thing about this site, you discover there are lots out there like you

I agree that the speech therapist was a fool. How rude!
and it's a double edged sword when you tell people so one may feel more comfortable around them, when it makes them feel more uncomfortable around me.

It is really no one's business. I find that if I tell someone, even if I suggest it is personal and I am telling them in confidence, they have no compunctions not to just include it casually into their convo with other people. Then I start getting the stink eye from all sorts of folks, looking for symptoms and signs. Some days I just want to slouch and drool and startle them with a loud "OOOGA BOOOGA" while shaking my arms and hands in front of them.

so. it's up to you. actually.

Merle

Some - Don't know what it is
Some - See me as wierd & Freakish still
Some - Say 'Oh I would never have guessed'
Some - Say wow...
Some - Treat my specially because they know I have it...
Though the people I like best and they know I have it are the ones that treat me normally.. (Though I Guess they are a bit more tolerant of me)

Some - Don't know what it is
Some - See me as wierd & Freakish still
Some - Say 'Oh I would never have guessed'
Some - Say wow...
Some - Treat my specially because they know I have it...
Though the people I like best and they know I have it are the ones that treat me normally.. (Though I Guess they are a bit more tolerant of me)

You know I had to deal with that issue through the years of trying to get people not to notice what I got. I think the real issue is how they would treat me after I have told them, like instead of a peer maybe they might treat me like a child. That right there is what I believe to be the true reason why I don't tell people, I have seen people acted so fake and phony while we are at a party for the special needs kids at the high school dance---I hated that. Cheerleaders and the student aids all acted this way at the party and just in general when they where with us.

Now that I am out in the real world, I don't mind people know what I have; In fact I would be in comfort that they do know so there aren't any awkward moments. Also I kind of think now that autism kind of attracts cute girls lol

I generally keep it to myself - i've only told two people outside my family (as far as i can remember)

I'm not ashamed of being on the spectrum but (in my case) I don't see the gain in telling people. When people are not making allowances for me i can learn much faster

this is where I'm going wrong then better out than in perhaps?

When I first found out, I tried telling a bunch of people...most of them reacted negatively, so now I'm mostly in the closet about it

I had one friend who reacted positively, and I thought he understood me and everything...but then, yeah, this happens every now and then

I dated a guy that I liked a lot and cared for that I figured out later (after we broke up) he is very likely and Aspie. I think in very close relationships it should be disclosed because you run into the risk of having the other person either think you are a complete a***hole or that person getting really hurt (you know, no phone calls, no setting time aside to see you, routine more important than you etc etc). I guess when it comes to anybody else then I agree, you can keep it to yourself. The communication is so important in close relationships that if you do not talk about it, the relationship is bound to fail.

That's the same reason that I don't want people to know. They buy too much into Rain Man and Autism Speaks.

well, im shure everyone in my immidiate familys knows i'm autisitc. however my dads family doesnt know i dont think and its not like im gonna tell them anytime soon!

I cant be around people like that. right ?

lets go, where outta the conversation!!

Last edited by richardbenson on 02 Nov 2010, 8:13 pm, edited 2 times in total.

I don't really tell people and plus if you tell them you have it, they start making assumptions about you and I hate that. Plus it might make it look like I am using it as an excuse. Plus it's embarrassing. I don't need people to be nice to me just because I have it so while they treat others like dirt for the same things I do, they treat me all special and I would rather have them treat me like how they treat others because it tells me what kind of people they are.

thanks for all the replies!!
I'll have a think, and then decide