Aspies who crave love with abandonment issues

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thank you Parrow

Yes, C-PTSD fits very well.

After years of specialist treatment,
healing and recovery, I have come to
the conclusion I will never be free
of the pain of the past.

However, these days I am aware that I can hold my wounds in a way that they can cease to become toxic over me or others.

The grieving process has been profound and at times unrelenting. However, through my tears I have (and continue to) come face to face with my deeper-self.

I am also coming to terms with the fact that I will never know where my autism starts and where my trauma ends. This has been a major obsession for me in recent years. However, the more I accept my self in a deeper way the more the dance between my neurology and psychology becomes naturalised.

hey......nice to hear from you LB.

how funny we should be posting here
at exactly the same time.

Will check this guy out.....thankx
so much.

cxx

Today my daughter told me she and her sister believe I'm an aspie. I laughed...then thought about it. They've been talking together and researching, and think all the symptoms are me to a tee. I went to my comp and looked up various sites which give tests to determine aspie "ness", they are right! For the first time in my 54 years I think I have a handle on why I have felt so different all my life. My mother walked out on my father and me when I was 5 years old, a weird thing to do I always thought, especially since having my own daughters and loving them so fiercely it literally hurts me. I've gone from one relationship to the next, dumping the poor blokes as soon as they get comfortable. I really only feel love for my children and my cat. I hate "team" anythings, my blood boils at work when I have to be nice to work mates, I just go mute and don't speak at all, they think I'm horrid, I really just don't know what to say to them and would prefer to be on my own. Not sure where I'll go from here, but it's great I found this site and realize I'm not alone.

Welcome, your in good company here.

Wishing you well from London.

Thank you quaker, and a very happy birthday for Sunday! x

I have a huge problem with abandonment. I've lost 3 very close friends this year alone as a result. One just mailed me saying I am so needy and clingy that it freaks everyone out so they don't want anything more to do with me I didn't realise this until they mailed me. If they'd approached me to talk about it I would have listened and been more concious of what I was doing.

I feel like approaching my remaining friends to tell them about having AS and why I am the way I am. Not sure if this will help or make things worse.

Thank you Rjay and I wish you a happy birthday in a couple of weeks time too.

Bobby, I am sorry to hear of your friends reaction.

For me, 99% of the time my relationships with others have been enhanced by my discloseussre of having AS.

The challenge as i see it is to convey the gift alongside the disability that AS can be for me. Doing this in a way that informs people of my limitations withought diminishing my abilites is never easy, but For me it is worth it.