Should you tell people that you're autistic/ have AS?

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Shaebybaby56
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28 Nov 2010, 6:36 pm

I feel that i should tell my friend that i have AS but what if she thinks i am stupid and she might not want to play with me anymore



Ariela
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29 Nov 2010, 12:09 am

I find that when I tell people about my AS, they respect me for it and are more curious to hear about it. I actually told a Harvard student and he wanted to hear about it.



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29 Nov 2010, 1:17 am

I only do it in the right situations, like to medical workers or the police. And I like my friends to know. Other than that I don't tell people. They probably suspect it themselves though. I don't appear NT.


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mimsy123
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29 Nov 2010, 1:59 am

I think it's totally up to you who you decide to tell. In my mind, it's something very personal and I choose not to pursue formal diagnosis or tell others for that reason alone. For me, knowing is a secret weapon that helps me get along better in the world. I haven't come across any situation in which it would be clearly beneficial to out myself, so I haven't.


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claudia
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29 Nov 2010, 4:04 am

CRACK wrote:
corroonb wrote:
CRACK wrote:
don't do it.


Can you elaborate further? Why shouldn't I do it?

I autistic and proud of it.


You shouldn't be open about it because people either won't believe you and think unfairly low of you or they will have complete misconceptions about you. Why would you need to reveal that information to anybody anyways?


It is more complex than this unfortunately. I can tell my son's story from a parent's point of view. Until he was not diagnosed, everyone in the family knew that he was not like others and felt that there was something wrong with him. They gave me unrequested advices because they thought I was not a good parent.
They forced me to make him attend day nursery because "he will learn to socialize", they said. I read by accident a book, Doring Lessing's "the fifth son" and I had a revelation reading it.
It tells about a child who was different, she never says why, but he was. Reading that book was like having punch in the stomach. I recognised every single sentence because I heard it in my real life and the main character was my son.
Months later he finally was diagnosed and I told it without any embarassment to my family and my friends.
My family stopped thinking that I am not a good parent, but they certainly started thinking that disgace was driving me mad. The lack of respect never stopped, I can't see a real difference. The only difference is the label.
Crack says people either
- won't believe you. That is an escape strategy, I think that is a fake to avoid being involved. The problem doesn't exist, that's why I can avoid helping you
- think unfairly low of you. Yes, and it is due to ignorance mostly. They think you are hopeless and try to comfort you. I add, someone thinks to be still able to give you advices about a matter that no one knows. No one but autistic people.
Why would you need to reveal that information to anybody anyways?
Because I don't have nothing to feel ashamed of and if I tell it I can claim to be respected as the parent of an autistic child and I can claim respect for my son as an autistic child.



Shadi2
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29 Nov 2010, 4:37 am

claudia wrote:
Why would you need to reveal that information to anybody anyways?
Because I don't have nothing to feel ashamed of and if I tell it I can claim to be respected as the parent of an autistic child and I can claim respect for my son as an autistic child.


Beautifully said claudia! :thumright:


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Eggman
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29 Nov 2010, 11:27 am

if by you you mean me, then like any other info not required for interactions, then I would not, if by you you mean one that depends on the person


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Todesking
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29 Nov 2010, 1:43 pm

Telling a cop that I had aspergers kept me from catching an asswhooping when he had trouble looking into my eyes to check to see if I was high because I was staggering so bad. He grabbed me by the arm and was forcing me to the front of his squad car when I blurted out I am autistic and have trouble with eye contact. He let go of my arm and explained to me he was taking me to the front of the car so he could see me pupils dilate better in the car lights. I guess he thought I was a speed freak who was avoiding eye contact so he could not see if I was high or not.


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TobyRulz
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29 Nov 2010, 3:09 pm

Hi I am 15 and have recently met up with two boys from my old school and we are getting on really well I dont have any other freinds so I really value them,,should I tell them about my ASD? or not one of my major faults is I say things to honestly and I think if I tell them they might understand more,,they are very understanding but I am unsure,,?? any help thanks,,:)


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Adam_Raki
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29 Nov 2010, 3:33 pm

Hi,

This topic makes me think about a AS french canadian guy who gives some conferences on Autism and Asperger. He is kind of "fat guy" (actually, he looks like Santa Claus! :D)
I see one of his conferences on Youtube and he started saying:
"Hello, I am an autistic but I'm not fat!": joke :)

As far as I'm concerned, I say that I have AS when things begins to be difficult with NTs. I try to mimick the best as I can their behavior, but I am limited... So, sometimes I have to say that I have this thing called AS which bla bla bla...
2 kinds of answer:
- NTs don't care about that!
- NTs try to understand and forgive you for your "social mistakes"...

See you around,
:)


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LongJohnSilver
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29 Nov 2010, 4:48 pm

Whether I tell someone I have Asperger's or not depends on the relationship I have with him or her. For example, if I know someone who has an ASD or who has a family member or close friend with an ASD, I will usually tell him or her. It establishes the fact that I have an acute understanding of the condition, and alerts the person that I may have shortcomings similar to what they or their family member is going through. Better still, though, it gives both the person and I an outlet to discuss our feelings and experiences, and gives us a subject of discussion that we find mutually of interest. I find it difficult to initiate conversation with someone unless I know the person and I share a similar interest in something. If we share a common interest, then I don't have to try to pretend I am interested in the conversation, or worse, not pretend and be obviously bored with the person. I have learned that showing obvious boredom in a person is not a good way to continue a friendship.

As a general rule, however, I don't share my condition with people unless there is a good reason for it. People usually pick up some of my more obvious quirks after only a few minutes with me, and they can decide for themselves whether I am worthwhile as a friend or not. Someone once stated, "It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt." I think the same can be true of an autistic person. It is usually better to just be yourself and let your friends decide whether they like you or not. If you let them know up front that you have autism, a lot of people either don't want anything to do with you or they treat you very differently from a "normal" person. Neither condition is agreeable to me. - LJS


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30 Nov 2010, 2:55 am

I have told most everyone in my life as I think it is a pretty big deal. (including my boss) So far I haven't heard one person say they did not believe me. In fact I have heard from 100% of them something along the lines of "I am not surprised" or "Oh of course..." My boss said, "Congratulations!" "You are super-human" (she has a son with Aspergers)

I am a bit surprised to hear that people do not believe you guys when you tell them. Apparently I wear mine on my sleeve or something.... :oops: