Should I Tell Them?

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Hi I am 15 and have recently met up with two boys from my old school and we are getting on really well I dont have any other freinds so I really value them,,one of them asked me out and I said no I just want to be freind wich isnt exactly true as I do like him (in that way) but I said no because I havent told him about my AS and I think he should know becasue if it was the other way round I would want him to tell me,,and now things are aqward between us now,and I think if I told him he might understand my reasons,,should I tell him/them about my ASD? or not?one of my major faults is I say things to honestly and I think if I tell them they might understand more,,they are very understanding but I am really unsure as I dont want to lose them alltogether,,?? any help thanks,,:)

First of all, I want to know who the "Toby" is in your username. It could get rather awkward if Toby is a different person than this kid you're talking about.

Just a word of caution in advance, TobyRulz. Don't get more involved than you feel comfortable with. Some boys (certainly not all) of your age might be more interested in a quick "adventure" than in a serious, committed relationship. If you are uncertain of your footing, take your time and try to figure out things before you do something that could get your feelings hurt later on.

Apart from that, it is a rather tricky question. I can understand that you want to share your knowledge about yourself. I would prefer my own partner to know as well (if I had one at the moment). But some people simply do not know what to make of this kind of knowledge. One of the main issues here is probably that some NTs tend to think of the more severe cases of autism when they hear the term. And some people actually assume that everyone on the spectrum is more stupid than NTs are.
Could you handle an adverse reaction by your friend? This is not only about being open with him, it is also about your feelings and your self-esteem.

Have you considered what kind of reaction you are hoping for? What would you wish would change by sharing your knowledge? Do you think you would gain enough to make up for the risk of making your friends think worse of you? I am not saying that they will, but they might.

If you decide to tell them, I think you should include some basic information on how a spectrum disorder influences somebody's life and how severe the condition is in your case. If it is a "milder" form, it would be preferable to prevent them thinking of you as someone who cannot handle her own life. If it is more pronounced in you, you should try to give the some help in understanding which things are difficult for you to handle and how they can help with that.
Many NTs get very uncomfortable around people whose mind works different from what they are used to simply because they do not know how to behave towards those people. Patience and openness can help here.

Also, you should consider whether you want to tell both boys or just the one you are interested in. Do you think he could keep a secret like that, even from his friend if neccessary?

As I said above, take your time to think things through and do not let yourself be pushed into anything you do not feel okay with.

Hi FluffyDog thank you you have helped alot thank you and "Toby" is my pony lol I will upload a avater =) Thanks

You are welcome, TobyRulz. Sometimes all you need is someone to prod you a bit so can find the questions that ought to be answered in a difficult situation.

And I meant what I wrote: If anyone asks anything of you that you do not feel comfortable with you always have the right to refuse doing it.