"Are you okay?"

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An annoying yet common question was asked of me this morning. At the check out stand of the grocery store I was asked, "Are you okay?" by the employee. At the time I know I was rather emotionless (okay, I was fully flat) and there wasn't an ounce of eye contact. Because of this I get asked this question a lot and was wondering if anyone else on the spectrum experiences this, or something like it? People seem to think just because I am flat and no eye contact is made that something must horribly be wrong.

If you are interested you can read the full story on my blog today at http://lifeontheothersideofthewall.blog ... -okay.html

I get this a lot. I just respond that it has been a long day and I'm tired. Works most of the time.

And THEN - when you are horribly down and under attack and utterly miserable - like your fiance ran off with your boss who fired you and drove off running over your dog - they perceive you as feeling up - "Boy, you are looking cheerful today, win the lottery?"

I think it is kind of people to ask that. They are usually doing their best based on what they know. I would simlply give a little smile and say with a bit of wry humour, "Yeah, this is normal for me, I'm fine, I'm just not good with eye contact."

No, I'm not okay.

I get told this a lot. My parents assume I'm upset I insist no I'm fine yet they persist. It's annoying.

i read your blog post to get the full story. it really sounds like she was just showing friendly concern, with no intentional harm meant.

have you ever considered carrying some autism cards with you to give to people in situations like that? you can buy them or even make them yourself on business card stock. they can be a good way to explain or educate without doing so verbally. and if this lost opportunity stays with you and you continue to regret it, consider going through that checkers line next time you are at the store and giving her a card.

I have a friend who always asks if I'm okay when I start rocking

I get this occasionally, or more often it's the standard "How are you?" Of course the standard response to this is usually "Fine", and when I say I'm fine people normally believe me. At church, however, a strange thing happens. They ask how I am, I say I'm fine, and they don't believe me, and so they wait around for what they think the correct answer should be as they assume I'm never fine. But it's just at church for some reason.

I hate this the most from my older brother, who says "cheer up!" even though I am happy, I just don't show it. I hate him, he doesn't understand or even know about my Asperger's.

I get that all the time. I dont go around smiling. My default face is a blank stare. and people think that i am sad, pissed off, worrying, etc.
in fact last night my fiance said why do you look so pissed off all the time? You could look at a wall(zone out) and have a pissed off look on your face.

Its not that im pissed off... my regular face is just blank.. and ... NTs arent used to that...?

I know this. People like to wave their hands and tell me Earth to Valoy! Are you ok? They probably would want me to look at them and to have constant joy. They don't understand I'm usually in neutral mood and I don't need to cheer up or to talk.

My mom asks me this once a day. I simply reply 'Yes.'

I've always hated that question. When I could talk I'd always just bark at people "yeahI'mfine" really fast just to get them to go away.