madbirdgirl wrote:
the notion that cold, unempathetic mothers cause their children to become autistic was dismissed long ago, but i sometimes wonder if it isn't absolutely true.
i haven't been diagnosed because i don't have the money to see a psychiatrist, but i think my mom has a lot to do with my inability to bond with others, make eye contact, etc.
my mom is very, very self-centered, self-righteous and controlling. she obviously doesn't have autism herself because she always seems to know exactly what i'm thinking by the look on my face. but she's awful and i can't even stand the sight of her. she's not physically abusive but unless you are smart (or grown up enough) to realize what she's doing, you'll be stripped of your own identity and emotions.
she has always talked to me like a ret*d, helpless baby. she tells me things that a 4 year old can figure out. she lectures me constantly, and demeans me over common, human mistakes. she's always right. she always has to be one-up. the look on her face is almost always stern and hostile - that, or she's smiling at me like a monkey in the zoo. when we're with her friends, she tells them not to offer me things like food, as if i'm a dog or something. i could go on and on about how much she screwed up my childhood...
i'm wondering if anyone else has a "refrigerator" mother, and i'm interested in hearing opinions/information as to whether or not this theory could be true.
Studies have been done on children raised in orphanages with very little human contact and they do have developmental delays similar to autism but they supposedly catch up once they get into a home of some kind, whether it's adoptive parents or foster. The kids who have a tough time catching up and may not are the ones with underlying medical conditions of some kind. Feral kids suffering severe neglect are developmentally delayed. Certain genes need human comfort to activate and if none is around, they simply don't switch on and a delay is present.
I don't know if a mother who is cold and unempathetic is enough to cause delays in development unless she is neglectful, too.
16 Dec 2010, 11:58 pm
