Aging Aspie

Post Reply New Topic

Hi. This is hutchscott and it has been awhile since I posted. I miss you guys.

Is it true that Asperger's gets worse as I age, or is this more BS told to me by my NT advisor? I do feel like I am worse off now than before.

I am now 41, if you need to know that.

I hope to get my home Internet connection back so I will be more active in WP once I do.

Thanks. Things aren't going well for me right now.

I'm 41, undiagnosed, although I've suspected I've had it for years (but never did anything about it). I feel like the things that made me suspect it in the first place are actually worse now, and I've been experiencing more shutdowns and having more issues with functioning in general.

This is completely unscientific personal observation, of course, and I'm not sure how comorbidities play into things.

Also, based on what I've been reading, it's not the same for everyone.

I'm sorry things aren't going well for you. I think stress makes one's aspiness worse, not aging, or so it has proved for me.

I can't say with any kind of assurance that it gets any worse as you get older. Some days I think that, others days not so much. I do think if you're diagnosed in middle age, you are likely to become suddenly very aware of personality traits you always knew you had, but that now have a specific name, so you notice them more in the moment. I also think once you're diagnosed there' a tendency to stop trying so hard to appear like all the NTs, 'cause you know you're not one of them and never will be, so the effort seems kind of pointless. So you may seem like your AS traits are getting more pronounced, but its more like your fake NT traits just went away.

I think it's getting easier for me.

Mine has almost unquestionably gotten better as I've gotten older. Part of that, though is the medications I take for my depression (though I've been on that for 8 years now so it's not gonna account for everything). I'm much better at interacting with people. I've broken myself of being such a slave to routine (though I still hate to be interrupted when I'm concentrating). I very seldom have breakdowns, and it's usually related to something fairly major (like job loss). I don't get so upset over small changes in routine or everyday annoyances like traffic and waiting in line and such. Mine was much worse as a young child. I'd throw fits over getting my shirt wet, or having a tag in my shirt, or if we had to wait to get a table at a restaurant, or if my parents made me put on a coat or well..you get the idea. I was totally unsociable and insensitive. I wanted to play by myself because other kids just got in the way or did it wrong or wanted to do something boring. I'd say just about anything that was on my mind without noticing it's impact on others (brutal honesty).

I could go on, but I have to be off to get pizza. I think it all depends on how how you handle it. The mind is an amazing thing, and it can adapt in some very amazing ways. I know mine has, and IMO, you're never too old to change if you really put your mind to it. Take little steps, don't try to move mountains.

it gets easier. You will have to deal with the typical stuff with aging that even NTs deal with, but overall, AS gets easier because you have more perspective, you understand yourself better and you're just not as uptight about everything.

Don't worry. It'll be OK. You'll get cranky and achier, but everyone does, AS and NT. But you'll be able to laugh at yourself more. So it's balances out.

I find my executive function disorder is easier to manage and my PTSD has mellowed. So I'm a bit more productive.

But you need to know that if you are not socializing, you need to make an effort. Whether you have AS or you're an NT a lack of socializing in later years has be shown to increase cognitive decline. So find a hobby that gets you out and talking with other people. I'm 39 and thankfully I love languages, so I have online classes and private tutor sessions in foreign languages that let me interact with other people on a regular basis.

It probably depends of various things. I find I have a lot less energy to deal with "faking it" and otherwise trying for maximal appearance of normality. But I also care less, and I think being 40+ yeas old and male people causes people to be a little more intimidated against pointing out oddities (or being jerks, in general).

And, "worse" also depends on who is making the judgment. If someone decides, say, that they're happier not hiding stims, to that person it's an improvement. But to NT observers it might seem like "the autism is getting worse."

I believe I was worst when I was in my teens. But now in my forties I have less to patience with jerks. I have become quicker to fight or insult someone.