First post: not sure I'm diagnose-able.

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Hey, all. I'm going to write this out quickly before going to bed (so that I'll actually post it and not change my mind at the last second). It's 3pm here, but that's late when you work overnight shifts.

Some background about myself: I'm 29 years old, male. I started showing signs of Tourette's Syndrome around the age of 12 with repeated throat clearing and eye-rolling. My parents took me to a doctor once, learned that there were no "real" problems with me, and that was that. I would say the tics started diminishing in my early twenties. They can still be triggered, but for the most part they've gone away.

Around that same time I also started stimming, but I could keep that private. Alone, I would (and still do) hand-flap and bounce. I think it's probably the same for most anyone who has these compulsions, but to be clear I'll describe it: these are actions that I yearn to do when I'm in public and know that I shouldn't do them, and doing these actions makes me feel happy and refreshed and better able to take on the world.

Aside from stimming, do I have symptoms of autism/Asperger's? I do and I don't, apparently. Over the years, I've had a couple of acquaintances say to me without prompting, and without knowing about my stimming, "I think you're on the autism spectrum". On the other hand, I've talked to closer friends (who were also familiar with these disorders) who have said to me, "You? Asperger's? But you're one of the most empathetic people I know!" It seems that I have an awkwardness in casual/group situations that can cause me to be "read" as someone with a form of autism (especially Asperger's), but I also have established plenty of close connections to other people, and I think these friends see my awkward traits as mere quirks that come out on occasion.

In general, in my work life, I pass the one-on-one interview, but then I'm the weird guy when I try to work as part of a team. The reason my mind has been dwelling on this subject again lately is that I think I heard, a few weeks back, one of my co-workers make a comment to another co-worker along the lines of, "I think he has difficulty responding to social cues, like Aspergers or something." It's possible that this co-worker wasn't talking about me, but if they actually were, it would fit with feedback I've heard about being "stand-offish" to the people I work with. (I try to be polite, and I'm in fact a bit of a pushover.)

I enjoy meeting new people, am not much of one for ritual, I understand figurative speech and sarcasm, and I pick up on non-verbal cues. That would seem to rule out Asperger's. On the other hand, looking back, I remember being a teenager who struggled to understand things like the difference between good-natured teasing and rude insults... and the troubles I had with my earliest jobs all came from how confusing it was for me to interact with people.

I saw my father recently. (He lives far away and we have a strained relationship, so this doesn't happen often.) Seeing him again, it struck me how bad he was at interaction with people and how hard it was to redirect him from even the smallest idea. (E.g., while in the food court of a mall, him asking, "Would you like to get a cup of water to go with your sandwich?" and then persisting, even asking the employee if I could get a cup of water after I told him that I wasn't thirsty.) I was talking about this to someone who suggested to me that maybe HE has Asperger's... which blew my mind, because I realized that he happens to have many of the symptoms I'm missing. He was always impossible to argue with, seemed to live according to his own rules, and never was really able to make friends.

I'm not sure what this all adds up to. Or rather, I think that maybe I DO know--I have some inherited neurological variations in me that add up to something like, but maybe not quite equal to, an autism spectrum disorder, and I've been able to get by more easily than many with a "different" neurology can... even though I still frequently don't come across as "normal". But that leaves me feeling like there's something fundamental to me that there isn't an accurate label for.

So, I think I'm just writing this for two purposes: 1. to express this all to an audience that knows (more than I do) about the subject and 2. to see if anyone can offer constructive feedback of whatever kind.

(So much for writing this out quickly.)

Maybe you should take the aspie quiz. Just google it and see what type of score you get. If it's low, then that may indicate you aren't on the spectrum. If it's high, then maybe you should seek out a professional experienced with autism and AS.

Your situation is similar to mine, TB. I have taken the so-called "Aspie Quiz", both as I was at eight years old and as I am today. Today's score is borderline. I score much higher on the spectrum than neurotypicals, but not high enough for a positive diagnosis. At eight years old, however, I score well into the Aspie range, where a diagnosis would have been guaranteed. Most of my symptoms today are social in nature.

I have gotten pretty good over the years in hiding or learning to overcome my social deficiencies, to the point that only someone who is really familiar with ASDs would be able to correctly diagnose me. Most see my social foibles as mere quirks, like you.



Not necessarily. I don't know that any Aspie has every symptom of Asperger's. I had about three-quarters of the classic symptoms as a child, and only about half of them now. I have learned to cover up many of my other symptoms. Like you, I tend to be pretty empathetic, although I wasn't when I was younger. I enjoy talking to people, as long as they are talking about something I'm interested in. However, I hate to approach people I don't know and introduce myself. I always make a mess of that unless I know we have one or more shared interests, or unless someone introduces us first.



I have good reason to believe my father also had Asperger's. I plan to ask his brother about their childhood at my next opportunity.



If you are really interested in finding out what is "wrong" with you, your best bet, as Josh has suggested (great avatar, by the way, Josh), is to get a professional diagnosis. I know what is "wrong" with me without going to a shrink, and I know a lot of the steps I need to take to correct my behavior and make it normal, so paying the hundreds or thousands of dollars for an authentic diagnosis and even more money for treatment would be a waste of money for me. - LJS

And you could also take the AQ Test, which was designed to be used (among other things) for screening adults for diagnostic assessment:

http://aq.server8.org/

Bear in mind that the relatives of people with AS often have a number of autistic characteristics, sometimes having and sometimes without having an ASD themselves.

If you score 32 or more and experience any difficulties, you might want to look for a specialist in ASDs and get a proper assessment. Most people on the spectrum (i.e. 80%) score at least 32 on the AQ Test, although plenty of people without a diagnosis also score 32 or more.

You pretty much described me and my mother. I was diagnosed last month. I recommend seeking a diagnosis. It was the best thing I ever did.

Sounds like me as well.

The curse of being "mild" on the spectrum is that your symptoms are mild enough to be concealable with some effort, and when not concealed, they are not severe enough to raise any flags to anyone NOT informed about AS/Autism.

Getting a Dx for such a person is difficult unless you see a professional experienced in Dx-ing the condition in adults...someone who knows how to look past the social conditioning and discipline that otherwise conceals the symptoms of the condition.

I am interested by the fact you were taken to a doctor at 12 for showing signs of Tourette's.

I also had this same issue, but when I was 8. I used to blink and clear my throat all the time. My parents thought it was allergies. It quickly became clear that wasn't the case. I was taken to a bunch of specialists and actually diagnosed w/Tourette's. It seems that wasn't what I had at all though cuz the symptoms went away. My mom believes it was cuz she prayed over it. I'm not really sure.

I read in Tony Attwood's book that stims can actually mimic Tourette's. For Tourette's to be diagnosed accurately there needs to be a verbal component as well.

I wonder how many other Aspies shared this issue as children.

Thanks to everyone for the responses.

Kiseki, my tics were similar. (Now that I think of it, too, I would have been younger than 12 when they started. I'll say maybe I was 10.) Eye-rolling and throat clearing were the two that were a constant... I also had periods of head-nodding or tensing my neck muscles.

I don't know much about TS aside from what the DSM says. (That seems to tell me that I was well-qualified for a diagnosis long ago.) For all I know, it could be something dietary that triggers my tics. Certainly my symptoms have waxed and waned over the years.

I don't know much about the neurology behind stims, either. My tics have always felt pretty distinct from my stimming: stims are those movements that I like to do but don't have to do, whereas the urge to tic is like the urge to blink or take a breath--it can only be held back for so long. Still, yeah, one has to wonder at how the two could be related. Especially since Asperger's and Tourette's both manifest in so many different ways in so many types of people.