Are you or were you self centered?

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Thinking the world centered around you and everyone had to cater to you?

Is this an AS trait?

If I asked someone if they want something to do with me, and they said no, I would become angry inside.

My theory of mind is broken so my concept of self is already atypical. So I'm not sure that 'self centered' means to me what it means to others.

I have to agree with this statement entirely.... That said, I have worked really hard to try to raise my awareness of others. I still give a s**t what they think about me though... LOL!

Also, isn't it the case that everyone goes through stages of "self-center" as they mature?

Yes, I admit that I'm prone to being self-centered. I'm better than I was when I was a child/teenager though.

I am quite happy to admit that I am self-centred to a certain extent as a means of self-preservation. I have a generous, considerate etc side to me, don't get me wrong, but I don't then want to become vulnerable and too far out of my comfort zone (which in itself is quite broad anyway).

Yeah.

It may sound very strange, but I had no concept of self until after high school. My consciousness would have been best described as 'outward facing'. I clearly remember a sudden epiphany of 'self'. Sort of an existential "OMG" moment, a jarring realization there is a thing called "me" inside of my head that isn't just a name referring to this thing called a body that seems so demanding and uncomfortable.

I am told I am and if the shoe fits, I will wear it. I've been told I was selfish ever since early childhood and it never phased me. By the time I grew up I was so used to being told that, "selfish" became a part of my idenity just like my brown hair and blue eyes. I wanted to bake cookies and distribute them to the neighbors for Christmas this year and my mom reminded me that was my idea. It's so confusing; one minnute I am selfish and the next I am horrible and selfish. I will never master therory-of-mind one hundred percent and today I think mine is about at 3%. Empathy is another concept that is alien to me.

I've been self-centered. I can still be.

People I know matter to me, and anyone I can communicate with. In person, though, someone I don't know is either a reason for me to avoid the space they're in or they may as well be objects (which is really the only way I get around the avoidance). This doesn't really bother me as such - I didn't invite them over or ask to socialize with them, you know?

Okay, that does sound really self-centered. But dealing with unexpected (to me, anyway) guests is pretty stressful, so ignoring them is just generally better for me unless I have to deal with them.

How is that selfish? It sounds nice to me, to give other people cookies.

Anyway, people have often told me that I am self-centered and I am willing to accept that as valid if by "self-centered" you mean "thinking a lot about myself and my own needs and trying to take care of myself, sometimes to the exclusion of paying attention to others and their needs". But if by "self-centered" you mean that I don't give a **** about others, then no, I'm not. I actually care very much about others. I just often am not aware of their needs and feelings because I am absorbed in the often exhausting task of self-preservation.

I like this distinction. I find often that my own self-care can take up a lot of energy and leave little for others, and when I try to ignore that to accommodate others I tend to end up in worse shape with a need for recovery time.

Last edited by Verdandi on 21 Dec 2010, 6:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Yep. Mainly because when I was growing up, no one gave a s**t about me. It's hard to care about others when they don't care about you.

I wouldn't call myself self centered but I do lean on family too much. I don't expect them to cater to me though. I am pretty independent. It doesn't bother me if people don't want to be with me. So I don't know if that's self centeredness or not.

Some people say I am but I don't really care. I don't let it get to me and change what I do such as all of a sudden refusing to do things or refusing to do nice things or being thoughtful and caring now since I am now self centered so I will mind as well act like it. I only do it to the ones who call me it.

I was, still am to some extent (much less than previously), and I'm constantly working on it.

It's pretty exhausting trying to fix this and to try to relate to others in a 'proper' way, and I agree that it's related to theory of mind impairment.

I suspect the self-centeredness we're talking about differs from NT egocentricism as it's more innocent and basically relates to a lack of awareness of others.