Board index › General Discussion › General Autism Discussion

What do you hate the most about having autism/aspergers ?

Page 4 of 12 [ 192 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 ... 12  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

Zen
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 10 Nov 2010
Age: 48
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,868

07 Jan 2011, 5:32 pm

I hate feeling unable to relax and be myself and say whatever's on my mind without being judged... anywhere.



LizzasaurusRex
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 14 Nov 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 8

07 Jan 2011, 5:57 pm

Fiere wrote:
Heh, my dislike is simple, having both selective mutism (Yeah, I have the inability to talk to people I don't know, viscious circle much?) and aspie syndrome I can't talk when I want to and have an inabillity to voice my true thoughts. I often find it irritating that I cannot express my own intelligence, and no one will give it a second thought that I may be more intelligent than my sister, though don't take it that I think I am.

Having said all that, I can also see the kind of person I would have been without aspie syndrome, and I can never say how thankful I am from that point of view ;)


I have selective mutism, too. I hate going shopping alone. When I go with my friends or parents I usually get them to talk to the employees, but when I'm by myself, I usually just end up wandering around if I can't find something and then eventually leaving. Also I get extreme anxiety at the beginning of the school year. Luckily this year, one of my good friends is in all the same classes as me. I have no trouble talking around my friends, but at times when I don't have friends in my classes, I'm known as "the shy girl who never talks".



evilduck
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2011
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 96

07 Jan 2011, 6:26 pm

I hate...
- stupid morons who can't just read my mind to understand what I am talking about.
- to have to conform to their illogical social rules.
- that people makes sounds I can't stand.
- that people makes movements I can't look at.
- that the day only have 24 hours.
- to be considerate.

I want to be myself.

That is impossible.



evilduck
Blue Jay
Blue Jay

User avatar

Joined: 3 Jan 2011
Age: 53
Gender: Male
Posts: 96

07 Jan 2011, 6:30 pm

Non_Passerine wrote:
How I get the mental capacity of a little kid during a meltdown when my mother yells at me.

I see what you mean, so this not to discredit what you say about that. I just want to add that small children are smarter than they are credited for. They are cold calculating creatures that uses the world around them for all that it is worth.
Aspies could learn a lot from children.



Vigilans
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Jun 2008
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 12,181
Location: Montreal

07 Jan 2011, 6:45 pm

I hate the way I've been treated throughout my life. I hate how some people will do whatever they can to sabotage me in any way for no reason at all. Mostly I just hate the way people treat me as I am proud of being different; I hate not being able to tell people what I have to explain my eccentric personality. Nobody in the world knows about my AS



FlintsDoorknob
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

User avatar

Joined: 3 Nov 2010
Age: 34
Gender: Male
Posts: 69

07 Jan 2011, 8:22 pm

Sensitivity to sound.

And meltdowns, so many meltdowns.

I hate how anxiety prevents me from doing things, and going places that I know I would enjoy...but I'm not ready for. It feels like it traps me sometimes. I know I'm not actually stuck...but sometimes I feel I am... It's hard to do most things alone.

I wish mroe people were aware of autism. I wish I was emotionally cabable of helping individuals with severe autism, or sensory needs. I really think I could make a difference.



Cornflake
Administrator
Administrator

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 69,049
Location: Over there

07 Jan 2011, 8:44 pm

FlintsDoorknob wrote:
I hate how anxiety prevents me from doing things, and going places that I know I would enjoy...but I'm not ready for. It feels like it traps me sometimes. I know I'm not actually stuck...but sometimes I feel I am... It's hard to do most things alone.

Yes, same here. :cry:
A special interest of mine is photography and another is cathedrals (not for any religious reasons; they're just nice/interesting places) and in the UK there are lots I would really love to visit and take some pictures. But the conflict and anxiety arising from planning the details of how to get there, that I'll be away from known & trusted surroundings, and that I'd be doing it alone - means that I end up not going at all.
It's not a real trap but you're right - it certainly feels like one.

One friend with similar interests would sometimes manage to convince me that everything would be fine if both of us went (and of course it was), but he died a couple of years ago. Since then I only ever go out for food shopping and other essential stuff.
No-one else is interested.


_________________
Giraffe: a ruminant with a view.


BottleCap
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Sep 2010
Age: 33
Gender: Male
Posts: 525
Location: Cat Land

07 Jan 2011, 9:00 pm

Extreme social retardation. It will always be there for me. Could possibly improve it a bit, but.... I will always be at least very socially ret*d.
It's a good thing that I can handle being alone better than most people.

Other than that, I don't think that there's anything else about my AS that I hate... yes, there's other things too, such as clumsiness for example, probably because of AS, over 9000 mood swings and other stuff but mainly... I don't mind this.



bee33
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 19 Apr 2008
Age: 60
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,862

07 Jan 2011, 9:28 pm

The subtleties of being socially inept.

I can reasonably carry on a conversation, though I may appear shy and awkward, but I get lost in the complex social games that come into play when I am involved in a group of people. It's hard for me to tell when I should just let things go instead of arguing and standing up for what I think is right, or insisting that others recognize and injustice or petty cruelty.

I have run into terrible trouble, not so much talking to someone but getting stuck in a quagmire when conflicts and infighting came up. And even looking back with hindsight, I'm not sure how I could have dealt with things differently, because cruelty and injustice just make me see red.



Cornflake
Administrator
Administrator

User avatar

Joined: 30 Oct 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 69,049
Location: Over there

07 Jan 2011, 9:55 pm

bee33 wrote:
I get lost in the complex social games that come into play when I am involved in a group of people. It's hard for me to tell when I should just let things go instead of arguing and standing up for what I think is right
Yes. One of the many reasons why I get told I'm arrogant and/or rant.

I'm not/don't - it's just that I have to talk about something; social chatter is frustrating, boring or incomprehensible. Usually all three. :lol:
So if I manage to get into a conversation I tend to take it over and go into all sorts of detail which absolutely must be explained, with the inevitable results. It's knowing how to not to cross that fine line dividing "interesting" and "don't you ever just shut up?!" - but the line is practically invisible to me, and only as people start walking away do I get that horrible sinking feeling that I've missed it. Again.

It's less stressful to just not get involved with it, really. :roll:


_________________
Giraffe: a ruminant with a view.


Fiere
Butterfly
Butterfly

User avatar

Joined: 5 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 17

08 Jan 2011, 6:27 am

LizzasaurusRex wrote:

I have selective mutism, too. I hate going shopping alone. When I go with my friends or parents I usually get them to talk to the employees, but when I'm by myself, I usually just end up wandering around if I can't find something and then eventually leaving. Also I get extreme anxiety at the beginning of the school year. Luckily this year, one of my good friends is in all the same classes as me. I have no trouble talking around my friends, but at times when I don't have friends in my classes, I'm known as "the shy girl who never talks".


Yeah, I know the feeling, though usually if I have a reason to talk to someone and say something specific, I can, albeit shakily.
Just moved to college, seems I have had pretty good luck with friends this year, most of which started talking to me first. Though funny how many were surprised how talkative I was online even though I was pretty quiet/shy seeming.

Just to add, another thing I dislike is that I cannot tell my family, hence being undiagnosed, when my sister told them she was it went down a bit like a brick. Dosent make sense to me why it did but it did. If they understood they might stop doubting my sexuality and realise why I have not had a girlfriend yet >.<



EricS
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 100

22 Jan 2011, 12:40 am

corroonb wrote:
The difficulty with non-verbal communication and socialising. I find this the most difficult aspect of having AS. It's very frustrating not knowing what to say, when to say it, who to say it to, how to say it. Everything has to be thought through, very little is natural and spontaneous, it's a bit exhausting at times with depression and OCD thrown in on top.


This is just my own assumption of the NTs -
I think our socializing problem has to do with "what is a commonly acceptable and appropriate form of expression of being a normal human being".

We as aspies and autistic people seem to show such different expression and characteristic that they find us kinda funny, that's why we're considered a bit weird, different, or sometimes they even think we're impolite.

And because they are so good in mixing around that they'd rather be with other people as friends, leaving us behind. And they consider us unacceptable.

That's why we're left behind - like we're aliens from outer space!



EricS
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 100

22 Jan 2011, 12:49 am

Fu-Manchu wrote:
The social difficulty of fitting in and making friends. Then if I make friends I don't know what to do with them. My wife says I drive them away......When I am not with my wife I spend most of my time alone.


I'm exactly like you! In fact, I'm about your age too! But my wife passed away 2 years ago.



EricS
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 100

22 Jan 2011, 1:23 am

LuxoJr wrote:
Bullying is fortunately, no longer a problem for me. :)
And facial expressions and social skills are things Ive picked up on for a long time now.

But. I. Really. Hate. Stimming.

I stim literally 24/7 (unless I'm asleep, of course) because if I a forced to sit absolutely still I will go insane.
And it consists primarily of cracking/twisting joints. I have learned how to do this more discreetly now, but it still gets painful sometimes.

Another thing is expressing my emotions/manners.
I often hide my true emotions because I never know how certain people are going to react to anything I do or say. I make it seem as though the only emotions I have are happy, angry, hyper, frustrated, and bored. I hide my sadness but it often shows even then. Never do I express affection of any kind. When someone hugs me I don't hug back, but I simply let them hug me, because I assume that should be good enough. When someone compliments me, I don't know how to say thank you properly. I almost never say sorry when I should because I don't know if I should (I say sorry when I bump into someone or any other similar situation but that's it). And I never ever say any kind of "I love you." So therefore, I've never had a boyfriend, or had a really close friend, or had the kind of relationship with my family that others do with theirs.
Quite honestly, the last two don't hurt me at all, even though they don't sound at all like good things. And as for the first, relationships aren't really a priority of mine.
But it'd be nice if I weren't so afraid or confused about how to act. It's almost like being sociopathic or something -__-


In this forum, I find so many problems of so many people similar to mine. Except like for you, on social skills which you find no problem, I really wish I could. Only one type of thing may be similar on skimming - my fingers can go backwards and I used to 'crack' my fingers, making cracking sound.

"Never do I express affection of any kind. When someone hugs me I don't hug back, but I simply let them hug me, because I assume that should be good enough. When someone compliments me, I don't know how to say thank you properly. I almost never say sorry when I should because I don't know if I should (I say sorry when I bump into someone or any other similar situation but that's it)."
- I had similar problem here when young, but if no one taught me to improve, I might still be like that. It was my wife who teach me these are important, acceptable things I must improve on or else people will only think I'm an actsy person, you know, acting like a bully! So I did. It felt a bit difficult, uneasy to adjust or change but after some time, it became a natural thing. It's really helpful. But too bad my socializing skill still has not improved much.



EricS
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 100

22 Jan 2011, 1:37 am

nelle wrote:
sometimes I can't handle talking to anyone and I have to arrange my life so that I wont have to talk or look at anyone. It is a pain that I can't do simple things, like go for groceries or the post office, because it involves talking and interacting with people.


When talking to the postman, salesman, anything dealing in their business or sales, I find no problem. Because this just involves the business dealing, what I'm buying or what they are selling. Like just saying "I want this, this type I want, can it be bigger, I want it to be in red...." So what's so difficult?

But if I happen to see someone I should know or seen before, I just say 'Hello" and just walk away because I don't know how to make a conversation! This is my difficult part.



EricS
Raven
Raven

User avatar

Joined: 22 Dec 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 100

22 Jan 2011, 1:54 am

woodss82 wrote:
the label it self makin u look like a ret*d to the NTs
And the social skills u lack to hang with NTs


Points of View:

Social skills are not what you are born with, if this was the case there would not be Aspies, Aspies to me are just people "NT"s with special gifts and talents and the obsessional habits are a product of these gifts, there is no such thing as a social impairment, its just the person has not been properly trained, evidence of this, you lock a child in a room especially during their developmental years, they have developmental delays and social problems, so therefore these problems are not Asperger exclusive, I think a NT if exposed to these situations can exbit similar behavioral.

All due to social isolation, against their will, and these children can still be diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome, there is cat's whiskers in Aspie diagnosis, now think about it, you place a child into isolation even if they are NT. they can exbit Asper-like behaviors.


I can't really agree with this. NTs are the norm. We are just like all the other unlucky people including schrezophrenia, ADHD, ADD, etc. For what reason I can never know but God made us born like this, we are experiencing torture before sin.