I'm proud to be autistic, you should be too

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FlintsDoorknob
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08 Jan 2011, 7:05 pm

Verdandi wrote:
The point of pride is to reject the assumption that one should be ashamed of being gay or autistic. So instead of accepting the cultural narrative that these are shameful, one has pride instead.

That said, whatever my own personal feelings on any element of my life, I wouldn't tell others to have the same attitude. Not everyone's circumstances are like mine. I would only hope that others do the same in return.


Pride and shame aren't black and white. If you are prideful you don't necessarily feel shameful. If you feel shame you don't necessarily not feel pride. I reject the assumption that one should be ashamed of being gay or autistic... I just don't feel the need to feel huge amounts of pride. Pride should occur when you've actually done things, taken action, or accomplished something.

I'm proud I accept who I am. But I am a human being for I am Asperger's syndrome.



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08 Jan 2011, 7:11 pm

FlintsDoorknob wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
The point of pride is to reject the assumption that one should be ashamed of being gay or autistic. So instead of accepting the cultural narrative that these are shameful, one has pride instead.

That said, whatever my own personal feelings on any element of my life, I wouldn't tell others to have the same attitude. Not everyone's circumstances are like mine. I would only hope that others do the same in return.


Pride and shame aren't black and white. If you are prideful you don't necessarily feel shameful. If you feel shame you don't necessarily not feel pride. I reject the assumption that one should be ashamed of being gay or autistic... I just don't feel the need to feel huge amounts of pride. Pride should occur when you've actually done things, taken action, or accomplished something.

I'm proud I accept who I am. But I am a human being for I am Asperger's syndrome.


I wasn't taking that stance, I was explaining it. I realize they are not black or white and that not having one doesn't require having the other.

I realize you may not be aiming at me, but I wanted to clarify what I was saying.



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08 Jan 2011, 7:14 pm

Lucky you. I can't help but be extremely focused on how few - how low a percentage of asd's this is - that there is a positive outcome. Please - tell me I'm wrong.



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08 Jan 2011, 7:14 pm

I'm also very proud to be autistic, as well. I have a mind of my own. I know a lot about the special interests that I've had. I still remember things that I've read about most of the interests that I've had. I also love the fact that I can handle a job, where I can work by myself. Most people would feel isolated, if they had a job like mine. I'm also proud of the fact that I'm not influenced by my peers. I don't feel the need to own every little gadget that they own. Another thing that I'm proud of, in regards to my autism, is that I can be alone for hours, without going crazy. Not only that. I'm proud of the self discipline that I had in high school. While my peers were goofing off, I was doing my school work and my homework.


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08 Jan 2011, 7:15 pm

Your being autistic is not something you chose or worked to achieve so you have no basis for pride.

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08 Jan 2011, 7:22 pm

Moog wrote:
Neither proud or ashamed. I enjoy the gifts and take steps to alleviate the curses.


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08 Jan 2011, 7:38 pm

I'm proud to be who I am. Am I proud to be autistic? I don't feel shame. I am happy to be who I am, and feel content with my life right now.


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FlintsDoorknob
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08 Jan 2011, 9:12 pm

Verdandi wrote:
FlintsDoorknob wrote:
Verdandi wrote:
The point of pride is to reject the assumption that one should be ashamed of being gay or autistic. So instead of accepting the cultural narrative that these are shameful, one has pride instead.

That said, whatever my own personal feelings on any element of my life, I wouldn't tell others to have the same attitude. Not everyone's circumstances are like mine. I would only hope that others do the same in return.


Pride and shame aren't black and white. If you are prideful you don't necessarily feel shameful. If you feel shame you don't necessarily not feel pride. I reject the assumption that one should be ashamed of being gay or autistic... I just don't feel the need to feel huge amounts of pride. Pride should occur when you've actually done things, taken action, or accomplished something.

I'm proud I accept who I am. But I am a human being for I am Asperger's syndrome.


I wasn't taking that stance, I was explaining it. I realize they are not black or white and that not having one doesn't require having the other.

I realize you may not be aiming at me, but I wanted to clarify what I was saying.


Ooh yeah, I thinkI misunderstood it a little. And no I wasn't directing it at you.

I want to clarify to other people that if you are proud of having AS, go for it! It's just not something I feel myself. If you are, go for it!



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08 Jan 2011, 11:22 pm

aluisha wrote:
Lucky you. I can't help but be extremely focused on how few - how low a percentage of asd's this is - that there is a positive outcome. Please - tell me I'm wrong.


What's a positive outcome is usually determined by the standards of nondisabled people. Often the actual disabled people have a very different view of matters. (Although since we live in an ableist world, most of us internalize at least some of the idea that a negative outcome is any outcome that differs significantly from a nondisabled person's ideal of a perfect life.) Also determined by people of a certain culture -- in many cultures "independence" isn't prized the way it is in the "mainstream" of the USA and several related cultures. Much of my family seems to have done fine with interdependence and not been ashamed of most of our issues even though most of us qualify as disabled in one sense or another (from what most would consider "mildly" to "profoundly" depending on the person and what time of their life). Not that we have exactly one point of view on it, but that we don't always see it the way it's seen in mainstream American culture, for some reason.

Speaking for myself, I have what would normally be considered an extremely negative outcome. That is, I need some degree of help with every aspect of daily living skills, and most often just need them outright done for me. (The best I can do is do something if someone hands me all the things to do it with, and that's never something I can manage all the time, given that I have "autistic catatonia" which often prevents me from doing anything at all.)

However, I consider my "outcome" just fine because I don't happen to think that being disabled is the end of the world, whether it's mildly or severely in the eyes of the public. (In my case it'd be considered severely, given that I can rarely even get out of bed for longer than it takes to get to the bathroom and back -- I have other issues in addition to autism as well, but even autism-related issues don't have me much better than that. I don't like putting autism in terms of mild and severe or HF and LF, but my doctor keeps writing severe on my paperwork regardless of my views, and that's how most people seem to perceive me.) I'm not the type of person who prizes an illusion of independence over all else. And I feel this way even at times when I'm unable to communicate, and even though the future might hold a situation where I'm rarely if ever able to use language for all I know given that my autism-related movement disorder is progressive so far.

I just don't happen to have mainstream values about what a positive or negative outcome is. To me a negative outcome is one where a person is unhappy, regardless of whether they need constant assistance or live what most of the world calls "independently". (Nobody is truly independent. We're all interdependent. Compared to most people, even the most extreme impairments don't cause that much more dependence on each other than most people already have. It just looks that way because societies don't plan for people like us. When people depend on others for a thousand things, what's another fifty or so?) And to me a positive outcome is when someone is happy. And that's happy measured by their own standards, not others. (Some really ridiculous quality of life measures don't measure whether the person themselves is okay with their life, they measure how "independent" a person is. Which is... just ridiculous as a measure of something that's inherently subjective. When controlled for that, most disabled people rate our quality of life the same as others, and if we became disabled after being nondisabled, then after an adjustment period we rate our quality of life approximately the same, sometimes slightly better, after we become disabled, as it was before.)

I'm both a happy person (one of my definitions of a positive outcome) and when I was unhappier, I didn't consider the source of my unhappiness to be being disabled (another of my definitions of a positive outcome in terms of disability). Nobody else gets to define a "positive outcome" for me based on what I can and cannot do. Many of the most miserable autistic people are those who are "fully independent" by most people's definition, and yet live lives so filled with the stress caused by overworking themselves to "overcome" their impairments, that they end up completely overloaded, overstressed, and unhappy. That's a high price to pay for a so-called "positive outcome". But really there are both happy and unhappy people at all "levels of impairment" among autistic people and other disabled people. You can't determine how positive a person's outcome is just by what they can and can't do, even if that's how (biased, ableist) scientists tend to do it.

Oh, and while I understand the meaning of pride (in the context of "not ashamed") and have used it that way before (both about "disability pride" and "gay pride"), I tend to avoid the term these days because of how confusing it is for a lot of people especially those who take words literally. Basically I have no particular desire to become nonautistic (or for that matter nondisabled in general, although there are particular conditions I might not want but even that's not always high on my priority list compared to other issues). I really dislike the whole idea (that seems to be put forth both by many proponents and opponents of the whole "autistic pride" idea) that being okay with who you are is only okay for those considered "mildly disabled" by the world. That's not what I'm generally considered and I'm fine with who I am, at least in terms of how my body (including brain) is constructed. (I of course, like everyone, have plenty of room to grow and change. That has nothing to do with what I mean when I say I'm okay how I am.) While I dislike "models" in general, the following is the "model" of disability that is closest to how I see it:

http://still.my.revolution.tao.ca/radical

That means I get irritated by people who go "I'm okay with autism because autism isn't a disability." Nope, sorry, try again, that kind of idea harms other disabled people. It also means I agree with the following said on that page: "To us, disability is not a point of individual or social tragedy but a natural and necessary part of human diversity. The tragedy of disability is not our minds and bodies but oppression, exclusion and marginalization." That's how I can have the views I have even though I have the kind of difficulties that normally are considered to prove that people shouldn't have the views I have.

So I don't necessarily agree with the OP's point of view (I don't know enough about it to say for sure, but it's quite probable that I don't), but I also probably don't agree with yours either. I'm one of those weird people who doesn't like much of the "autistic pride" stuff because it's so often ignorant of what the positions taken mean to other disabled people. However I'm also not one of those people who thinks people who don't agree with me are evil (whether they don't agree because they do the "autism is not a disability and that's why I like being autistic" thing or because they do the "autistic people need to be cured because of the misery it causes" thing). I like, and sometimes work alongside, many, many people who don't agree with me on much of anything related to all this.


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08 Jan 2011, 11:41 pm

Why not just be proud of what you do?



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09 Jan 2011, 7:31 am

I'm not proud in the same way that I'd be proud of painting a really good portrait when it comes to autism. However, I'm proud in the sense that I refuse to let society beat me into thinking that my life isn't worth living because I'm disabled or that I'm a waste of potential. Furthermore, I refuse to be ashamed of having an ASD and I do not blame all of my shortcomings on it. I accept that I have it and I know it's difficult to live up to the expectations of society, but I am not going to feel bad about not being "normal". I do not think I am inferior on the grounds that I am disabled.

One time I was in a room with another disabled person (a room with no one else in it) and they still talked about their disability in whispers, as if somebody was listening in. I understand (to some degree) that mentality, but it's really annoying. I on the other hand, will casually talk about it if the subject comes up in conversation. And I don't whisper. I just talk casually about it and if people have a problem with it, it's their problem, not mine.

It worries me that many people feel so ashamed of simply existing with some sort of disability. I don't blame them- it's not their fault that they have been brainwashed by society to feel inferior. I don't know how I managed to not be this way myself, but the only thing I've really ever known is not being ashamed of being what I am. I guess, in that sense, I'm rpoud.



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09 Jan 2011, 9:04 am

Pride: I am a Geek, Nerds rule. As per mentioned on Revenge of the Nerds. I am not privilleged to be in the same Universe stream as a Nerd Girl (I'm talking about the ones with Glasses). There's nothing more revenue generating for the economy as Fanboy-girlism, would it be for Lou Rawls, the Jazzist, harry potter, Ancient cult classics such as the work of Lugosi, aka Doctor Vornof progenitor of the great Atomic race.

Self identity and experimentation. Auspies are not afraid to look for external ways to define themselves, with a wide range of faucets, that is if they live in a democratic society. (I feel the pain of Chinese Aspies, a mideval culture, supersticious, paranoid, XENOPHOBIC, and ignorant, to those who are harmlessly different). So what if I perfer imaginary women to real women?

Higher intelligence. Even if it's a few points, or one, it's higher. With comsumption of poisons in the food, and general living, it's natural that intelligence goes down. It's extremely RARE that one would be born as a savant. Usuall life is extremely unpleasant for such people. Like that professor who is highly citated, can you imagine what his life would be like high stress, to compound the discomfort of being an Autistic.

Non pride burdens: Pain, pain pain, pain, low energy, numb feeling, zoned out spaced out, joyless existance of stoticica
paralysis, no friends or limited friends, clumsy eye hand manipulations to the point that impatient people like this lady unfortunatly in my life (by circumstance). Impatience with the trivial matters of NTs and belive me their little things are quite trivial. It's like you're IN a really stupid stupid sitcom and you're the character that plays the serious one, while other characters play the stupid ones....



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09 Jan 2011, 10:15 am

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Last edited by b9 on 09 Jan 2011, 8:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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09 Jan 2011, 11:05 am

Proud because of it? Nah, and for the same reasons I'm not proud of being right-handed. I just am.
Proud of what I've managed to achieve despite it? Of course. Well, sometimes... :oops:


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09 Jan 2011, 6:13 pm

Cornflake wrote:
Proud because of it? Nah, and for the same reasons I'm not proud of being right-handed. I just am.
Proud of what I've managed to achieve despite it? Of course.


This is more what I am referring to, bad choice of wording on my part. I guess "happy" would be better, but anyway, I'm not ashamed of it.



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09 Jan 2011, 7:22 pm

robh wrote:
Cornflake wrote:
Proud because of it? Nah, and for the same reasons I'm not proud of being right-handed. I just am.
Proud of what I've managed to achieve despite it? Of course.


This is more what I am referring to, bad choice of wording on my part. I guess "happy" would be better, but anyway, I'm not ashamed of it.

Absolutely. It's nothing to be ashamed of.


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