Independent living difficulties

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I'd suggest cooking with appliances that have timers. Perhaps the best example is the Zojirushi rice cooker I bought--it not only cooks rice to be ready at a preset time, but keeps it warm it you are too busy to eat it--it even tells you how many hours it has been keeping it warm!

Similarly, if you cook macaroni and cheese in a microwave oven, it won't overcook it if you put in the right amount of time on the timer.

My biggest problem is I don't drive. Which is a big issue as we live in a typical suburb with nothing but houses around. I do tend to order things online a lot so I don't have to do as much shopping, still things like going to the doctors and running errands are trouble. Usually I need to wait until weekend so DH can drive me to places.

It doesn't help that my parents keep picking on me for not driving, because, well I did have a driver's license years ago but I gave it up. I have poor reflex and coordination and anxiety, driving is just too stressful. I'm always ashamed to admit to people that I don't drive, as I managed (or faked) everything else in life almost as expected for a normal adult. They expect me to be able to do everything.

*All right I guess I didn't mention that my house is a huge mess. Almost everything is dirty or covered with dust. We eat under a chandelier with cobwebs all over it. Amazingly none of us has ever got stomach bugs or get sick much at all. I call our filthy house "immune system training ground". At least I know I'm not alone. My brother's (also Aspie) place is even dirtier, and he doesn't have the excuse of other people making mess.

I cook nice food everyday but I don't wash pots and pans, hubby does that. I never bathed the kids, hubby does that twice a week. He also does all the bills and go through mail and the kids' school notices. I feel overwhelmed just thinking about all those papers. Many other similar issues, but I'm not exactly sure if that falls under "independent living difficulties". I did take care of myself perfectly fine when I was living alone. I kept minimal possessions and was very careful not to make anything dirty, to reduce the need to clean. I only not do so well now I'm responsible for a whole family. My house feels too big, we have too much stuff, we don't have a place for everything, my old grandma collects junks and wouldn't throw anything out and kids make mess everywhere. It's way over my limit. We have 4 bathrooms and I only clean the toilets if I can no longer tell if the kids flushed or not. It's just too much for an unorganized person to maintain. Oh well at least I love cooking and laundry, so my family eat well and wear clean clothes.

I can handle the basics of independent living, like going to work, paying my bills, cooking, cleaning, going shopping etc. What I have difficulty with is things that involve some hassles, like standing up for myself, protecting or seeking my rights, seeking medical help and such. For those things I'd need someone who would stand up for me and deal with the hassles.

I'm also very socially isolated and would need someone who could help me out of that social isolation, like someone who would take the initiative and start a friendship or help me get involved in something that involved a comfortable doze of social interaction. And by that I mean a pleasant social interaction, not just someone dragging me along to some big group gathering that will just overwhelm me and where I'll just be ignored or treated badly like usually.

I never had a problem with paying bills when I had my own apartment in college. My biggest concern was what to do when an issue arises like my toilet gets clogged or something and I cant fix it myself. I called a plumber because I didnt know what to do and it cost my dad $300. If my landlord had been there to pick up the phone when I tried to call him I probably would've gotten it fixed for free but I was in a panicky situation.

I didnt have a car when I had my own apartment. I wished I did but I think car expenses would be a greater concern than living expenses because so much more unexpected stuff can happen with a car than an apartment and I think it's more difficult to keep track of insurance, oil, gas, tires, etc for a car than it would be to keep track of utilities for an apartment or house.

I have a learning disability with math so I can't do things with bills and such. I live at home still and need help with a lot of things. Agoraphobia, anxiety, ocd, social and sensory problems doesn't allow me to live independently.

For those that are looking for help and are in the US, state based developmental disability services are the place to go from my understanding. I also understand that you will need a diagnosis for that. In the UK it is your local autority and in Australia it is stated based disability services which again require a diagnosis. You would be amazed at how many medical and other professionals have no idea at all of where to go to get support with living and maintaing a home, and I have found that when I fully explained to mine what was going on for me, they were more than willing to help, they simply had not realised how bad it was, didn't think of asking, assumed if I was going to see them then everything was OK, etc.

I don't have any trouble living on my own, as I live in a city that has AMAZING public transport. I have a sort of OCD so I am constantly cleaning my house and always pay bills early. I like to have things taken care of. It's really easy here too, cuz all of our bills are paid at the convenience store which is a 2 minute walk from my house.

If I had to live somewhere a car was needed, I'd be way out of luck.

The only issue I have is with directions. I get lost a lot, if I don't follow the same route each time.

I have been helped through state disability services. I have trouble with housework as I cannot stand the sound of the vacuum and so they provide someone to come in and clean for me. I have a problem having my hands in water for long periods and would not wash the dishes, so I have help with that. I have trouble touching raw foods and will not chop them up. I have trouble with different textures of foods and have a limited diet. I have help with cooking, so people come in and cook for me, and I have had the assistance of a dietician to work with me and accept the issues that I do have and to work out some recipies that I would eat and that would ensure I meet my nutritional needs, without causing me any trauma, etc. I cannot cope on public transport for long periods and cannot drive. I get some assistance to take me out to places, shop, etc, and provide some limited social support type thing. I have had a weighted blanket funded, been moved to appropraite public housing, etc. I cannot cope with noise, need to live on quite streets, in a quiet suburb, away from schools, child care centres, shops, etc. I cannot cope with brigth lights and so we got them to put awnings on the windows of the unit to help with blocking out full sun light. I have also been provided with black out blinds in the bedroom as I cannot sleep with light. I have the state fund psychological therapy with an autism specialist psychologist, and a few other things. I live in a state with Individual Support Packages and so have a package of funding which I decide within reason what to do with. I have 10 hours a week of attendent care type support, to help with cooking, cleaning, shopping, etc, etc. I have a session with a psychologist each week and am currently also getting massage therapy in a hope that the deep pressure touch will help to make me less sensitive. I am studying at a college and get a one on one suppport person there as well. I cannot sit in the classroom and take notes and so she takes the notes for me, but I also need someone to be there for me, to give me a person to focus on not have to worry about the rest of the students, and I sit all my tests and exams seperately, in shortened time periods (the test is broken into differnet parts, and I sit each part seperately rather than all at once), and I have a scribe for my tests. I have an incredibly high IQ and can basically rote learn anything, but I cannot struture assignments and the like and do get assistance with that, with organisation and the like. I also struggle with household organisation, putting things away and the like, and so part of the carers roles are to assist with that.

I should add that initially they did try to teach me what to do, they soon realised that I was not going to learn and so they now provide me with support to have things done for me. I choose the carers, the hours I have them, etc. This is not possible in all states, but you do have the right to assistance, if you ask for it. I do not have a problem budgeting, etc. But I have at times failed to pay bills on time. I do have automatic payments set up, whereby part of my pension is paid straight to the electricity company, telephone company, my rent, etc. This is not a direct debit as it does not come from my bank account, I simply get a lower pension, but that is in Australia and not something they get in the US. The concessions I get for electricity, water, etc, etc are also deducted straight from our bills and so the bill is reduced and is not something I have to apply for which I understand is what happens in the US.

I have trouble with everyday living. At least I thought I did, before reading all of these posts. I think perhaps I don't have it very bad at all.

I luckily don't have to worry about paying bills, officially. I'm still a student so my parents cover most stuff. I've never had a job before, though I've done some volunteer work. My parents are having some financial difficulties, though, so I need to fix that situation. Hopefully I'll be able to manage full time or part time employment.

Most of my difficulties are just related to a complete lack of time management skills and my tendency to do nothing but "goof around" all the time. I manage to get myself to class on time and that's really about it.

I don't remember to take my ADHD meds most of the time. I forget to do laundry. I intend to clean, but don't. I forget to do the dishes. I get lost or sidetracked and don't remember that I'm supposed to study. When I do remember that I'm supposed to study, opening the book often puts me right to sleep (unless I've taken my meds.. in which case I will do my work). Going to the library helps sometimes, but I don't like leaving my apartment all that much. It's warm and cozy and I can enjoy some peaceful alone time. All in all, I feel like I go through life largely in a "dream" state. I don't socialize much, if at all. Oddly enough, though, my grades are pretty decent. Especially considering that I don't really study as much as I should. But, of course, who am I to complain of such things...

I think if I could have some sort of "service", it would be someone to help with the daily tasks such as cooking, cleaning, and making/remembering appointments. That would be really helpful to me. I'm sure an accountant would be of use too, later down the road. I don't fail at math, but most finance and business stuff intimidates me. One day I'll get good at it. Until then, just gotta keep plodding along!

For NSW, the place to look is the state government home page for disability services. NSW does not yet have Individual Support Packages in which an amount of money is allocated to a person and within reason they are free to choose what services they want with that money. That does not however mean that no services exist in that state, it just means that they will attempt to put you into a box and make you fit the services that do exist. There are also a million other things that would be taken into account besides diagnosis. Every single person on the autism spectrum copes differently in the world around them, and they also vary signficantly in the amounts of personal supports they have from family and friends, other co-occuring conditions and the like. If you really do need help then looking up disability services is the first place to go. More than likely you would inititally be referred to HACC services.

For NSW this is the state government home page for human services which include disability services:
http://www.dadhc.nsw.gov.au/dadhc/