The autism social rule book.

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Don't talk about your special interests in public.

Dont explain how something bad happened unless you are asked. You will be accused of making excuses.

Another rule:
When meeting someone you like, engage in ordinary conversation until anxiety has lowered naturally. When anxiety has lowered and emotions feel a little bit at ease, continue the conversation into a "likening state" where similar interests are in the context. Let the other person engage in the conversation as well. Remember, conservations are 60/40 or 40/60 not 80/20 or 20/80.

Another rule:
Approach slowly to the "likening state" not exciting or frustrating the person too early. Haste makes waste.

Another rule:
If the person does not seem interested, then the person is not interested. Say a warming "goodbye" or "I'll see you again sometime" then leave. Try not to think of the outcome as a failure but valuable social experience.

Another rule:
If the first social encounter went well and into the "likening state", then take the opportunity to ask for contact information. If he/she accepts, congratulations!

Another rule:
Never obsess over the contact information and flood him/her with text messages or phone calls. This is a major letdown on the relationship and will devastate future possibilities. Take it slow and remember that relationship making is a process not something that can be "obtained easily". He/she is a person not some problem that can be solved immediately.

Another rule:
Remember to breathe and relax, which is hard but can be done. Try using a mental visualization of a peaceful place like walking in a serene path with cherry blossom trees in the outer sides of the path. Anything that is colorful that soothes the senses work. This will make interacting with people go much smoother.

Hope this helps!
--berlingots

If someone tells you their in-laws lives in Idaho, do not make jokes about white supremacists. They won't think it's funny and you can't explain it away.

If someone invites you over for a party, dinner or other gathering ask what you can bring. If you do not receive a concrete reply (for example-"Please bring potato chips") then bring a bottle of wine or a fancy sparkling juice beverage. If the host does not drink or the event is for a younger or non-drinking crowd then the sparkling juice beverage is especially nice.

Always thank someone after they have given you a gift or have done a favor for you or helped you out in some way. If you are unable to thank them in person be sure to send a card or emails as thanks.

People are much more likely to want to invite you over again and/or do favors for you if you are thankful.

Don't tell people you know they have a cat because of their scent.

If someone offers you a breath mint. Always take it. They might be implying your breath stinks. (That's good advice for anyone)

_________________
(I'm a Girl... )

"The person who knows everything has a lot to learn."

"Dubito, ergo cogito, ergo sum" (I doubt, therefore I think, therefore I am) René Descartes

Don't do anything that you know--or even think--is unusual.

hahaha! some of this stuff would be pretty funny, if much of it hadn't also happened to me. I wish I had this forum 40 years ago!

If your super anxiety prone and straightfoward like me. And you always think your friends dont like you but arent saying anything. Dont approach them about it unless you are completely certain they dont like you/something going wrong. If you do approach them about it, do it in a more indirect route at first. Asking if their stressed, fustrated about something, caring and concerning way.

When you're engaged in conversation with someone and something off-topic or even on-topic but not on-time comes to your mind be mindful not to interrupt even if it means you will certainly forget what you wanted/needed to say and also try not to get upset by when you forget that thing becuase otherwise you take the focus off the other person and can make them feel uninteresting.

Don't ask anyone over 30 how old he or she is.

One rule I've encountered recently:

If someone has just finished explaining something for a several minutes or longer, or giving advice, say "I understand. Thanks for informing me, I didn't know." -- Of course, for me, if I did know, I wouldn't lie about it. But in this case, I wasn't completely aware.

_________________
I think you guys will like my blog. http://modestyking.wordpress.com/

I cannot stress how important this is. It took a lot of failed relationships from me, close NT's telling me, and doctor's telling me to not do it. I know Aspies (well at least me) tend to get excited about the new relationship/friendship/other person in their life and want to be around them all the time. NT's take it down several notches. So you have to pretend to not be as interested or convince yourself somehow to not be that interested in the person. To remain friendly with them. Does this make sense?

Another rule:
Never obsess over the contact information and flood him/her with text messages or phone calls. This is a major letdown on the relationship and will devastate future possibilities. Take it slow and remember that relationship making is a process not something that can be "obtained easily". He/she is a person not some problem that can be solved immediately.

Hope this helps!
--berlingots[/quote]

If you're at a party, don't say you're bored--even if you are bored.