Can't have Autism because..........

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"You're not like the autistic kids who were in my class when I was in elementary school."

Yep, that's the one.
Most of the people I know these days have got used to it but I still get the odd frustrated "What? I can hardly hear you." thrown at me - which I've learned to laugh off by saying "Strange - it sounds fine from in here".

Ugh, I hate that one...I had it last month from a 'friend' right before she went on to say 'people say I'm a bit autistic' followed by '...because I'm shy' - yeah, shy doesn't quite express it, and dear god do I hate being called shy, which is another one; "It's not Asperger's, you're just shy"

Because you make eye contact. (...No, I don't. I'm just really good at faking.)

OK, I put this in the on line tests thread, but maybe this is a better place. I took those online tests and every one of them put me in an extreme score that may indicate autism. And I've always thought I was, and as a kid I had stereotypies/hand flapping/fascination with water, odd speech, shyness, etce etc.

So I talked to a couple of psychologists and psychiatrists at work ( I am a counselor in a program for kids with mental health problems) about the tests and they said

I was not autistic because I relate so well to people.

I don't. Like many of you, I have learned how to hide my considerable anxiety about any social interaction and at work I am comfortable because it is just like following a script- I use cognitive behavioral therapy in my work, which is all structured, from a manual even, and I have a well defined role in my workplace. I learned how to make meaningful eye contact,( around age 18 or 19!) etc. But I decline to attend social functions at work unless they are short or involve some strcutured activity, because I get so anxious.

One of the doctors said that many high IQ people score abnormally on those tests because high IQ is a gross abnormality in itself.

I am mystified. There seem to be many smart people who are also socially comfortable, popular, at ease in public, much more succesful than i, even with the same degrees, etc. I doubt they would score high on those tests. Perhaps there are just a whole lot of high IQ people who are not diagnosed?

if that is so, then autism is truly a spectrum with so called "normal" on one end and classical autism on the other, and most of us in between.

Consulting with coworkers on this seems a poor choice. The know you too well and can't be objective. The make their assessment based on what they know of you, not what you choose to keep hidden.

I'll bet if you went to a professional that specializes in diagnosing adults on the spectrum that you would have a different result. And if you DO get a different result, it would indicate that the professionals you work with are in need of some education. It does a dis-service to many when they are not recognized as ASD simply because of ingrained ideas.

thank you wavefreak for responding to my post.

The two doctors I spoke to actually also work in the only diagnostic clinic for spectrum disorders in my area. But I understand what you are saying about them having other bias because they know me personally from work.

Frankly, despite what they said, I am pretty sure I am on the spectrum and am not sure if there is any advantage for me, to having a confirmed diagnosis, which I would have to travel pretty far to get before I could consult someone who doesn't know me, but who does know autism spectrum in adults.

...Because you make eye contact. "You're female, you're too normal looking & acting..." And the list goes on.

Unfortunately, those so-called health professionals have never seen me in anything other than in a room where it's quiet. There's few distractions, loud noises, phones ringing loudly, people speaking loudly, lots of activities going on, etc. They also tend to talk about about their qualifications, & drone on & on about what they know, vs hearing what I have to say.

If they would listen they'd find out that I have severe sensory issues with noise, certain types of clothing/tags, light, smells, textures, etc. Sometimes it's bad enough that it's all I can do to keep from running out of the area that's causing me problems. I have learned to avoid some places that I have trouble tolerating: malls, casinos, any place with big crowds, etc. Unfortunately, my job often puts me in the middle of situations that are difficult to tolerate. But because I have to earn a living, I am required to put up with stuff that I find to be physically painful. I have found that wearing certain clothes can help...things that don't irritate my skin, turning socks inside out so the seams don't cause friction on my feet, going into parts of the building where there are no phones/away from voices & activities, all help me to cope.

I think autism & aspergers have so many traits. But unfortunately, it seems as though there are just a few that are recognizable to people who deal with mental health...they pick & choose what they think are blanket symptoms that apply to all. If you don't do those known things, you have another disorder, if you have any disorder at all.

because I constantly fidget (pop my knuckles, fiddle with my bracelet, etc) rather than actually rocking back and forth or flapping my hands or any of that.

because the sounds, textures, etc that I hate ("mouth sounds" such as people eating or smacking their lips; having my hands, hair, or the bottoms of my jeans wet; wearing shoes unless it's too cold not to; hot or humid days; having my upper arms touched, etc) don't actually cause me physical pain, they just make me very upset or uncomfortable.

because none of the myriad doctors I went to as a kid diagnosed me (to my knowledge) with anything besides ADHD and depression.

because it's extremely possible that crappy eye contact, being really nervous around strangers, etc are simply some kind of, uh, social anxiety.... thingy.

Yeah, these are the ones I say about myself, though. My guy (an aspie) swears I have AS too, and it probably shouldn't matter as much as it does, but I can't quit driving myself nuts over the whole bloody thing.

It´s unbelievable how misunderstood autism is, and from professionals as well- unfortunately.

Ironic how people have all kinds of reasons as to why people like us "can´t have autism"- but yet, if some guy murders someone and there´s media attention, suddenly people start saying "oh, he probably has Asperger´s"- (this has happened several times recently).

My favorite:

"I've worked with Autistics, so I know Autism. You aren't Autistic."








Idiots.

I've literally heard this one : "People with Aspergers don't drive; people with Aspergers can't even work enough to buy a car, and if they could, then they couldn't make eye contact with the road to drive."

WOW

I know it's wrong, but a small part of me thinks this is brilliant.

Make eye contact... with the ROAD?! The road has eyes?!

Anyway, try this one: you can't be autistic because you don't think autism is an awful tragedy worse than cancer.

I remember when I was a kid I learned some about Autism and felt somehow connected. So, I asked my mom "Am I Autistic?"

Her answer bugs the ever loving s**t out of me to this day...

"Autistic people don't talk, honey. You can talk."