Discovering AA/AS and age

Post Reply New Topic

I was 24 and I stumbled upon it by chance. The moment of realization for me, and seeing all the pieces of the mental puzzle that was my life suddenly fall into place was so powerful a moment for me I had to lie down in my bed.

For me such a moment would have been a lot nicer for me back in 1985 when I was in kindergarden. I hated the fact that I was the one always getting yelled at, getting sent to the back room, having to see the principal and counslers every week, the incredible friction present between me and my parents who could not understand me.

I remember all the evaluations the school district gave me over the years and getting pulled out of class for them and me wishing I knew why this was happening.

I went through three months of horrible depression in late 2002 as I was in despair over the social failures I had experienced that year. I wished back then I could explain what was wrong with my life.

It would be almost another 2 years before I had the answer, and look back at that life altering moment, I wish it had happened sooner.

I was diagnosed at age 41 in 2004 I am 43 now.

Hi Starr (and everyone else)

I imagined you younger. I was 47 when I first heard about AS. I am now 47.

I communicate better with family now, so that's good. I think at school it was better not knowing. It would have been an excuse to not get out of bed.

Me self dx as non-NT at 36 and I am 36. Pre-that I thought I just had social anxiety disorder.

Just recently diagnosed in the last few months (24 years old.)

A book actually tipped me off. Running with Scissors ( a good book btw), in it the author spends about 1 or 2 pages describing his brother who seemed strikingly similar to me in the way he is describing him. He ends his description saying that later in life he was diagnosed as having something called Asperger's Syndrome. I made mental note of it and continued on reading. A few weeks later on a Wikipedia binge (I can spend hours doing nothing but reading wikipedia and what ever topics I find by just clicking the highlighted texts) the brother popped into mind and I looked up AS and about cried from reading the description. It was everything I ever experienced and thought about life. After a few weeks of digging 'round the web and a few visits with a shrink it was pretty easy to put the puzzle together and diagnose.

As to the question of wanting to have found out sooner, I am at odds with my own thought on this. Would knowing and going through therapy/treatment have changed who I am now? Would I have used this 'disorder' as a crutch and leaned on it throughout life as an excuse as to why I never fit in? Or, would I have benefited from treatment and been a better person? And that leads me back to think that if I would have been a better person that means I am not the best person i can be today and did losing out on what could have been 10+ years of help when I probably needed it the most leave me socially crippled for life?

I'm 56, self-diagnosed this year, professional Dx coming up. I was relieved to find out why I'm like this. I wish there could have been Dx and special ed. and occupational therapy when I was a kid. As it is, I got scapegoated a lot.

It occurs to me that a Dx would never have been permitted in Mom's lifetime. She was a great believer in willpower and the work ethic. She wouldn't have believed it. But I do, which is what counts.

Being possibly the eldest here, I tried several times to introduce the subject of age and AS. And I think there is not such a clear cut division between aspies and NT, or at least that many people considered NT are more AS then NT. A simple test to know might be to answer this question: how many real friends you feel you have? But, if you are in a position of wealth and/or power it would not be easy to answer. It's only in need and hardship that you can measure real friendship. Moreover if you belong to an upper class you probably will not have met so many obtacles in finding some sort of job and generally some sort of social acceptance. So you can reach old age without having to ask fo a DX. Asperger is also considered as a serious anomaly only since the nineties and since the rise of evolutionary psychology and cognitivism. So a formal DX is sifting a very restricted number of persons. Then there are still many taboos as to heredity, leftovers from psychoanalys and other cultural resistances, to accept frames like those of Uta Frith or Baron-Cohen.

Thanks everyone for your sharing you thoughts and experiences about this.

I think it's comforting to feel not alone as an Aspie, (or however you want to it, the condition of AS) The feeling of alienation has been mentioned a lot, and the feeling of 'aha, now I understand' when the DX or self DX has been made.

If I may put it this way-the experience of feeling oneself to be strange is a lot easier when you know there are others who also experience it.

(Sorry, having a very Aspie day today, my ability to use words seems to be having a day off!
)

For me, yes I would of liked to know that I had AS as a child, because their were alot of unexplained things as a child and growing up that were hard for me to understand in a social way. I didn't really think of being social as something that I shoul do, in fact it would scare me to talk to anyone that I didn't know well. Couple this with the fact that my family was very religious and explained everything through religion and everything else was secondary. So yes I think it would have helped to at least know that I was separated from being social not only by religion but also by AS, do you know what I mean.

Self-(and wife and parents and friends) diagnosed this year at age 35 with borderline Aspergers and definitely "adult" ADD. I have to say, it's certainly shed a new light on a lot of my life. This is on top of a pre-existing diagnosis of bipolar type 2 and "borderline unspecified pervasive personality disorder" which, imo, was a shorthand way of saying 'you're kinda screwed in the head but we're not entirely sure what's wrong".
Ran across it on Wiki (good to see another wikimaniac, btw) and elsewhere and reading through the manifestations was like ticking off a list. Found WP, spent 26 hours going through the archives and was just in shock. Had my wife read some of it and we were both somewhat stunned... it was like an entire forum full of me-clones, to one extent or another.
Recently told an old friend of mine about it and, especially in reference to the ADD, he said "Man, I thought you already knew and just didn't like to talk about it. Good lord. I woulda told you years ago if I'd known you didn't know."
Back when he and I were in school, the only ADD/ADHD kids you saw were the really really serious cases. Same thing with the AS kids. I'm glad it's beginning to get more recognition, I have to say. Especially if it can help some people avoid having to go through some of the crap that I put myself through over the years.
Overall, friends and family have been very supportive.

44 now. Provisional self-diagnosis within the past year. When I first heard about Asperger's, I was intrigued enough to do some research. And some of what I found, my reaction was "Okay, that would explain a few things..." I know Asperger's is getting a rep for being the "flavour of the day", but never before have I found something that so perfectly explained things about me... nothing else even came close. I think that says something.

I am almost 33 and I was diagnosed when I was 27.

Before that, I knew I didn't fit in. For the most part, I was ok with that. I try not to meltdown in front of others. I try not to snap at people to leave me alone. I'm happier alone, but I still try to make myself reach out to people that may want to be my friend.