WrongPlanet OCD Rituals

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Your posts have been very interesting for me to read. I appreciate the time you have taken with it. It is interesting how many of us are alike. As I read Morgana'a post for example, it is so much how I am.

I thought after making this thread I might be able to stop doing the checking here on the WP---but no luck. I still feel compelled to do it as I always have.

One day shortly after I joined the WP, I had forgotten to put subject headings on my posts. I went back through my previous posts and edited in subject headings. Like an itch (as Cornflake said), it had to be scratched (written in).

Yeah. I've tried and failed to tone down many of my weird little obsessions but really, it's much less stressful to just do them anyway.
No-one gets hurt, nothing breaks, life goes on.
I've noticed that over time, some just fade away - so it seems that the itch can disappear if it's scratched for long enough.

still curious, especially since OCD seems pretty rare even on WP, i'd ask (to everyone) what is the 'fear? or perhaps, what would happen if you didn't do what you feel you must do? for me, the bulk of the anxiety i feel revolves around germs, leading to compulsive hand-washing & being very particular about what i touch. ie nothing that i know, have seen, has touched the floor, or been touched by something that has touched the floor etc. the fear for me, is the germs making me ill & ultimately, potentially causing death.
anyway i hope i haven't turned this thread 'morbid'.

Nah, of course not. It's all interesting stuff.

But you still do it automatically every time anyway, right?
Even though you can step back and rationalize it away by studying how everyone else doesn't drop down dead with some awful disease, despite not doing the same things you do, and that you know the immune system is extremely effective in dealing with these background hazards and your worry of germs is far more acute than practical necessity really requires.

If you really rationalize your actions you'll probably be able to drop a slice of bread on the floor, then pick it up and immediately eat it - but I'm guessing you'd struggle and even if you do manage it, it will still feel completely wrong. Horribly wrong.

Me arranging jars and a general obsession with counting and symmetry/patterns is the same - I think my symmetry/patterns anxiety is your germs anxiety.
It's irrational, compulsive and ultimately pointless behaviour - but it doesn't need to be founded on worry of a genuine, potential danger for it to be OCD; the obsessive thoughts and compulsive actions are enough and the anxiety felt by not performing a ritual is still as real.
The rational me knows that those jars function just as well in one order as they do in any other order - but the intrusive thought always pops up, nagging that they should still be arranged anyway.

Meh. Along with the other ones it's all pretty minor stuff in the grand scheme of things, and not much of a worry. As I'd said, some do just fade out on their own.
At least now I can leave my home after just patting my jacket pocket as a final check that the keys are there, instead of repeatedly picking them up and putting them in my pocket until they actually feel like they're really, Definitely. In. My. Pocket. before I can leave.
That one got a bit tedious, I can tell you.

I have to read it from the last green flashy new post thing, even if it two pages back and then move up the page to the more recent posts because I don't want to miss any of the topics, I don't always read them but I have to know what they are. I also have to read the General Autism Discussion first. So yes I do have some rituals on here oh and I check back like incessantly to see if any one replies because I almost never post (as you can see from my date joined and my number of posts)

In my case, I don´t feel anything that I would call fear...I don´t even think I feel any anxiety about it. It´s more just an innate, inexplicable compulsion. (The analogy "an itch that needs to be scratched" is a good one). If I didn´t arrange things in the proper pattern, or if I didn´t check and correct my posts, I would feel sloppy somehow. And the counting and numbers thing just seems to happen unconsciously, sometimes I´m almost unaware of it. I´ve been doing that all my life I guess, so it´s like breathing.

Although there are times when I kind of wish I could "speed up" and get things done as quickly as other people, generally, I´m not really bothered by what I do. I´ve always been this way, so I can´t imagine being another way. It seems to bother other people more than it bothers myself.

If I had OCD, would I be upset by these behaviors?

i don't know that i can rationalise the worries away, i accept it's irrational because everyone says so, but i'm really not sure anymore. some things i can rationalise & work out on my own that my mind is making it worse but i feel i'm losing my grip. and yes, i will still do all the things even if i 'know' they're unnecessary.

re the bread from the floor, i can't see me ever doing that from my perspective now. i kinda wish i could but just thinking about it is quite uncomfortable. wish my ocd had some use or novelty.

Yeah, that's the thing - and me neither. They persist, despite what I know about them.

I stopped trying to work it out because it just made me feel worse.
Unless they're getting in the way of something essential (some did, but they've faded now) I just file them under "Meh - so what".
Plus, doing that doesn't distract from the warm satisfaction of symmetry and properly arranged jars.

Sorry about that. I couldn't think of another way of showing how rationalizing and knowing that it's irrational still doesn't make it go away.