Oh Brother

Post Reply New Topic

I didn't know if I should put this in the parent section or put it here. As you know I have a younger brother who is high functioning autistic. I have come on here with several problems before concerning him, like eating the leaves of Christmas trees, staring at walls for hours, and his extreme obsession with Legos.

Currently my parents have gone through a divorce and his behavior has become a little more so than usual. He's submerging himself deeper in his obsessions ever before.

Is this is way of acting out?

I know how much the divorce has affected me. But he hasn't exactly told me how he has felt. Not sure how to reach at this point since he ignores me and continues and pretends he doesn't hear me. He doesn't talk much to begin with anyway.

Is he dwelling deeper to combat the stress of it?

How does divorce affect high functioning?

The anger and depression is probably tenfold for him compared to nt's, he needs to express it somewhere.
Lego is a really good spot to vent. Maybe a new lego set might cushion the stress a little?


An hour sitting with a pretty girl on a park bench passes like a minute, but a minute sitting on a hot stove feels like an hour -AE

Let him have his extreme obsession with Legos. He's not hurting anybody.

Acting out!?

My guess is he's incredibly stressed out, both by what's happening and by the change involved. Much of what gets called "autistic behavior" is either ways of managing stress (because we are always under stress from confusion or bombardment with information), or things that we do that while not just because of stress, are extremely comforting in times of stress. It's probably healthy for him.

http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/templ ... minds.html

Yep. He's stressed out because of parents divorcing. He is probably hurting inside, wondering what has happened to his world. If he is really young, like, from two to four years, it's going to be a confusing and traumatic time. He won't understand why the parents are divorcing.

The best thing to do is to tell him that you are there for him and share his interests with him for a while....like if he wants to play legos, play legos with him while giving him comfortinmg advice....even if he does not respond, he still heard you

Acceptance is the best cure. A little acceptance goes a long way.

When I'm upset or frustrated I don't want to talk to people. If people try to be around me this will agitate me more. Just give him his space and go easy on him. The last thing I need when I'm upset or frustrated is people making a big deal that I'm not normal or yell at me for making little mistakes. Not saying that you or anyone is, just keep it in mind.

To deal with stress I do get deeper into my special interests and even go into my imagination and not come out for days.

When my parents divorced I didn't even know. I was less than high functioning back then or maybe had other issues worse than autism. I suppose I was five and barely knew my dad...or mum for that matter.

I like the idea about buying him a lego set, just to show you care about him.

I'm not sure if he doesn't want to change. It can be very difficult to even attempt it because it seems so impossible. I'm 25 and have never worked and don't live on my own. I at least tried to go into a supermarket today and immediately began acting more autistic, which is what I do when I'm so stressed and overloaded. But at 14 when I thought I couldn't do something I wouldn't do it. It takes time for someone with autism to realise when they need to embrace change and when they can actually do it.