100 Ways to Annoy Somebody With Asperger's Syndrome

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Answer EVERYTHING in metaphors!

When you see the aspie start to call a taxi, tell her no, you'll give her a lift. Stick around chatting for another hour until the aspie finally gives up and gets a taxi anyway. Bonus points if the aspie had been ready to leave for at least 45 mins before calling the taxi in the first place.

NTs do not understand the meaning of the word now.

Open your mouth ...


I'm a little bit like B 9 and prefer a slient head.

Tell them not to "speak to you with that tone" or "make that face" when they are not aware of having any tone of voice or facial expression and were not intending to communicate anything (i.e. read into their behaviour.....chances are there isn't ever anything to read into!)

I know I made a whole thread about this...but............I'm still bitter!

Tell them to open their eyes when they're talking to you.
Actually, my wife was more pissed off over that for me, than I was.
-Bill, otherwise known as Kraichgauer

100. Have patterns broken in illogical places, e.g:

@@@@@@$@@

instead of:

@@@@$@@@@

Give an aspie a rule, and then when they apply it, correct all the 'errors'. Then tell them it is their call as to when to apply the rule.

Give an aspie a rule, and then routinely break it. Corollary: when the aspie breaks the rule in return, claim the aspie is wrong.

During an argument, make your point (which is inevitably completely wrong and totally unfair), and then walk away so they don't have a chance to defend their position. This one makes me so angry I want to hit them, and I am not a violent person at all.

Make the same arguments again and again and again and when the aspie defends their position in the same way, tell them that they're making the same arguments and it's getting boring.

Tell them to stop 'defending themselves' when you are making accusation after accusation against them.

Don't answer the question posed, but instead answer a different one which wasn't asked and claim you have now 'answered their question'.

Ask a rhetorical question and then when they answer because it wasn't obvious it was rhetorical, get upset and angry.

Expect them to take part of the blame for a mistake they were neither responsible for, nor involved in.

When they do something which is a) logical and b) better than the existing system, tell them that they can't do it because it isn't according to the way things are done here.

Look me in the eyes you rude freak.

After he/she has failed horribly to an embarrassing extent at showing excitement at an event, lecture him/her about how badly they show emotions.

If your girlfriend/boyfriend has difficulties coping with the social connectivity of romantic relationships, proceed to start calling them every single day. (double annoyance if they can't stand phones)