Sick of people undermining aspergers/HFA

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Heres something I'm going to say from now on: I don't have mild autism, I have milder autism.

I read a story on Tumblr that this girl was on a softball team with AS. Everybody knew she had AS but apparently nobody understood what it meant because they were blatantly insulting and complaining about her awkwardness and how she was standing around and being almost stiff and not talking to anybody. One girl even says "I know she has Asperger's but does she have to act all anti-social and freaky?"

It made me wanna do a facepalm.

Well played.

raisebyignorance,

Wow, that's just... Some people are annoying.

Oh, it sounds so painful to be that girl on the receiving end of that kind of treatment. I was just like that girl and this post brought back the awful memory, of course back then nobody knew anything about Asperger's .

I don't blame you either, raisedbyignorance

In terms of comparison of severity of issues, I think the autism spectrum bears some resemblance to cerebral palsy. I have an 18-year-old anything but NT stepson who has severe CP. He cannot walk or talk or take care of any of his personal needs. He has "classic" CP I guees you could say. Now, during the course of my life, I have met many folks with much milder forms of cerebral palsy. Maybe they have difficulty speaking or walk with a pronounced hitch. Does that make their form of CP less important because they are not as severely affected as my stepson? Of course not. CP is CP. This is what I think many "normal" folks have difficulty processing when it comes to the autism spectrum. They simply don't understand the idea of "spectrum." NTs see us Aspies/HFAs as intelligent, functioning human beings and have no way of relating to the issues that confront our psyches and physical selves on a daily basis. It is a weird disorder for sure and it's almost impossible to explain many of the symptoms to people who have not experienced them. I guess that's why they call AS an "invisible" disorder. Not to us ... but to the rest of the world.

My ex husband's family said that if I had AS I was so mild as I was nothing like their autistic son. My ex insisted that I just had ADD (which I do also have)............... anyways eventually they all got mad at me and told my ex things like "she won't compromise on anything.........she's like a child" (his mom) and "she really hurt my feelings..........she's very abrupt"( his sister). They were apparently disappointing that "I wasn't what I seemed". Couldn't you at least Google "symptoms of AS"?

-Well this is one of the reasons why the highest functioning of us might NOT want diagnosis. I believe somebody said on the work and finding a job forum, 80% of the forum members are unemployed. Isn't it better to be a a 'terrible' normal person than the 'best' autistic person?
-And I have a younger brother who is NOT autistic, just low IQ, borderline mildly ret*d (think forest gump) I consider his problems to be FAR worse than mine.
-And yes I'm going to say it. If you have AS you have FAR fewer problem that the non-verbal. Cause YOU can TALK! You can say 'food' and 'water' and you can come on the internet and say "I'm 17 and never kissed a girl" that makes you a teenager, not a basket case.
-Lastly I'd argue my main point, the very fact we may/do suffer in society shows that was are FAR more successful than those who are never allowed into society, or have chosen to withdraw completely.

Yeah, okay:

It's not cool to use people you assume can't speak for themselves as tokens to make your point. I say "assume" because there are actual nonverbal autistic people who read and post on WP.

For that matter, do not assume that they are not a part of society.

I don't even know where you're going with that "basket case" comment.

It's also not cool to tell people who have real problems that they don't have real problems because they are verbal. Being unemployed, unable to live independently, dealing with sensory overload, dealing with other difficulties that being autistic causes don't somehow cease to be difficulties because someone somewhere else has a harder time.

Being diagnosed as AS does not make anyone "the best autistic person."

Disability is about how you do relative to expected performance, not how you do relative to some random internet' guy's brother.

I know for a fact that a lot of autistic people have a harder time than I do. I talk to some of them regularly. But you know what? None of them tell me my problems are irrelevant, because they are still problems.

But does your brother starve on a regular basis because he can't say 'food'? I'm assuming he's taken care of and/or makes his own food, in which case his not being able to say 'food' is not that big of a deal. I'm not trying to be an obtuse about it, but not being able to speak, while I have no doubt can and does cause hardships, isn't the worst problem that a human could have, although it often seems to be regarded that way. It's the "Trump card" of disability, sort of. There are "high functioning" people I've heard of who can speak, but have starved due to other issues. So, if a "high-functioning person" (meaning they can speak) is starving, and a "low-functioning person" (meaning they can't speak) isn't, does the "LF" person still have it "worse?"



Or, maybe not so much more successful, but deemed worthy enough (by questionable criteria) to participate in society at all. Or, IOW, to have the usual full set of human rights. OTOH, there are greater expectations.

Losing the right to self-determination because of someone else's (wrong) judgment sucks, and being allowed to drown as the only other choice also sucks.

I guess what I find having "mild autism"/aspergers is that since we are technically mild cases in terms of having a disability, most people dont really see that we are so called disabled even people that know us. Essentially we get judged according to NT standards, if were socially awkward we can be seen as freaks or weirdos whatever. We are expected to perform up to the same capacity as NTs are.

I really do feel this at times, it doesnt really help that I often times expect myself to perform at the same capacity as my peers and get really disapointed when Im not always comprehending things the same way socially that my peers do. In the end, I dont nessarily want my peers to give me what my friend calls, "special priveledges", because this will equal being treated like a baby. I dont want my peers to be disrespectful towards me in that sense. Asking for respect means being judged and treated in the same manner that NTs are treated. That means suffering the reprocussions for my actions even tho I have aspergers, even tho I was selectively mute with no friends till I was 17-18, even tho my social intuition is equivelent to a 12 yr old.

Some people can't understand just how much they can hurt with all this undermining. I hate it so much when people say that if you look nothing like this "autistic guy" from some movie and if you're able to keep a job then you have nothing to complain about. Yet the same people say I'm being whiny and childish when I complain on how much hard work and effort it takes me to actually keep this job. Just because so far I can make it doesn't mean I don't struggle. Being told that some people have it harder just makes me feel like nothing I ever do or achieve is good enough because "I've got it better". I also find it really hurtful when some NT's are very quick to dismiss some of the difficulties we face. For example, when I told a friend who knows about AS that the fire alarm really hurts my ears she just said "well nobody likes that sound". Come on! There's a difference between not liking and hurting!

-I felt the issue at hand, namely the thread is NOT "Do AS people have problems?" but rather do "AS people have problems as severe as the more extreme classic autism sufferer?"
-I feel I will never be treated as a totally normal person in a normal american social setting. Fired from jobs, clueless in chit-chat, usually single, and requiring a huge amount of downtime between stress, are all parts of normal aspie life.
-The NT world is the 'real world'. I may not like this world. I believe autism awareness is a good thing. Information is important. Mothers used to be accused of 'lacking maternal feelings' for having autistic children. We know better today. The link between Autism spectrum and allergies is being studied. Books are being published. All this is certainly a sign of progress and keen interest in the part of society. Society, is not against in toto.
-But I can not expect or demand anything, if I want to be a fully independent and functional member of their society. We do not allow the blind to become pilots. The number of deaf musicians is quite small. There are very few short people in the NBA. Society makes rules that it functions by.
I think Ai_Ling said it MUCH better

-Since society is shaped by consent of the majority/ or those in power where the majority is not in power, and society is neither ruled nor dominated by those on the Autism Spectrum, it is rather pointless to demand it accommodate us when one considered that 140 years ago it was permissible to keep people as slaves based on the color of their skin in America. The fact that certain sounds/smells and social interactions 'annoy us' or even make us sick does not mean we can expect to be catered to, except in those cases where a cottage industry exists. A case in point, actually being this forum.

I thought the topic was "AS/HFA people have real problems that shouldn't be dismissed just because they are not as severe as the ones of LFA people"...

True, but society also used not to let people in wheelchairs have office jobs.



Not sure what you mean with the slavery reference. If no one had argued against slavery it would still be going on. Probably, the efforts of countless people, who may have never seen any results from their efforts, in their lifetimes, none the less made a difference.

I think it's often forgotten that being able to say "we can't expect society... so we must..." is an argument that only the more privileged get to make. There are those who can't make that argument at all, because no amount of "sucking it up" is going to be enough to keep them alive (or not homeless, etc.) -- the world needs to adjust some for them or they're dead. So, arguing for adjustments from society is not necessarily a fanciful, un-serious notion. It might work out to be pointless, in a given case, but it also may be the only argument someone has. (Personally, I'm probably a borderline case; but there are others for whom it really is that stark of a choice.)

Yes exactly! Society should cater to those who are the worst off. For example, those with autism who can't find normal jobs should be catered to by heath/social services. Since my life is more independent and functional than the majority, I should receive few if any benefits or slack from society. Those who can not work, live alone should receive the most help.

I think that any person with an ASD who plays the "my-autism-is-more-severe-than-your-autism-so-your-problems-are-nothing" card is kinda throwing a pity-party for themselves. Some people need to focus on what they can do rather than all the ways autism limits them.