Want to know every single detail of what you are doing or have done or will be doing and then critisize you or call you cruel to them for you being overwhelmed
Call you constantly to tell you about the family tree and then expect you to remember it and also have the same enthusiasm as you otherwise you are just proving how much you don't love them
Want to know every single feeling you have and then critisise you for not having the feelings they want you to have
Have a selfish rant, for hours, giving me every reason under the sun, until there's one I buy, then tell me that wasn't the reason a week later, after I've modified my behaviour for them
Suddenly come out with "I'm really good at manipulating people and you don't realise" after having thought you've just sorted out a problem and are happy, making it impossible to confront, especially as you are both just on your way out to be somewhere with people. Later, deny ever having said or being manipulative, and accuse me of it and to all our friends.
Turn up unnannounced
Be grabby and needy and call me unloving because I can't stand your needy draining hugs which are about you not me
Randomly "stroke" or "pat" me, particularly when making a soppy face as if you actually care or I'm a poor child and infront of other adults (such as in a school meeting)
Always go on about how you wish I was still a baby when it was perfect (when I was perfect apparently)
Accuse a baby of not loving her mother because she likes to look around the room
Presume that babies are born with social skills and the fact that she was "a good girl" and "never cried" had something to do with being good
Interfere in every aspect of parenting like you know better, even to the point of my feeling I have to physically remove you when touching you is the last thing I want
Say you're not coming round, then come round when I'm no longer in, and tell my Son I'd agreed to it, so they both have a go at me (that's not fair on an innocent child)
Have different standards for each of your children
Never tell me how you really feel, even if experience has told me to ask you if you are really sure, and say you are, only to then accuse me of hurting you as I should have known you didn't want to do it and force me to apologise.
Say that I haven't apologised for something which I have twice already and it wasn't even something I had to apologise for in the first place.
Say I am cruel because I won't let you do my washing-up
Deliver my child one hour late on a school night and pretend you've never had any knowledge of school night requirement before now. Then tell me the reason why you were late after I've got angry so it lloks like I'm insensitive. Then admit it was your fault and on my aggrement walk away in a huff without saying good bye.
Tell my Son falsities about how I feel so as to make him scared or unsure of me
Presume "there is something behind" what I saying
Interpret what I am saying out of context on purpose because you want me to do something and can't ast me directly for some reason
Assume I doing as NT's do
Tell me I never tell you my feelings when I actually have
Tell me I never think of you when I actually prove that I do
Tell me I don't want to speak to you (don't love you) when I have just told you I do want to speak to you but later when I'm not working (Even NT's would be pissed off by this, yeah???)
Tell embarrassing childhood stories to every friend that visits the house
When I'm depressed and on medication tell all the family you're depressed but don't tell me so I don't have a choice to stop confiding in you if it's hurting you but find out randomly from a family member that I'm to get better because I'm hurting my Mum whilst I'm also collecting an armchair from that member of the family as I've lost all my furniture due to abusive relationship breakdown, illness and subsequent poverty, which is humiliating and straining enough!
Telling me that I can just "get better" if I "choose to"
Making spastic mouth signs to friends in the same room when I'm not looking 'cos I just misunderstood something even though you were kind enough to help clarify it for me
Touch me when I've asked you not to touch me and accuse me of being too sensitive and autistic
Neighbours who repeatedly make noise even though I've made them aware of how they make noise, and then continue to complain about my noise, except it's the other neighbour above me, which I've told them about!
Doubt me
Make fun of me when I get angry with you for being out of order and never take responsibility
Pester me even though I've said no and explained a perfectly good reason, you just don't want the reason to exist because you want what you want
Tell me when I'm doing my special interest that I always do "useless things"
Never teach me any practical living skills and then expect me to have them like you do
Never ask me to help you, be resentful because I don't help you, and then once I've got the invitation and opportunity to help you, still act resentful and entitled
Ignore me then say it's me who was ignoring you
Ignore what I've said saying I haven't said anything
Ask me a question and then start talking over me with your thoughts before I've finished
Ask me the same question 15 times over a long period of time having never even heard and/or accepted the answer (exhausting and ends in anger and then I'm wrong apparently)
Expect me to "catch on"
Borrow a book from me and never give it back and then have a friend to tell me I should've known that there's apparently a rule that people don't give books back when they borrow them in this tiny community (????????) Weird one!
Be Housing Options service and convince me you can help only to come round to tell me there's nothing you can do to help, and even though you know I'm clinically depressed with PTSD accuse my lack of tidiness to be Laziness.
Agree that we are not compatible and then message me a year later telling me you that I'm not to get my hopes up but you can give me another chance when you also know I'm dating someone else and just interupted me answering your question on how it went only to then deny you said what you said and accuse me of reading into it.
Call me a sucker
Use me for sex
Use me for money
Use me for housing
Use me and my Son as the metaphorical dog you kick when you get in from work
Lie, admit you lied, then deny you lied
Say you are committed to me going on and on about it and forcing me to prove my commitment only to turn around 4 years later and tell me you were always pretending.
Tell every one I'm mad so as to protect you're image after I've called you out, causing a mass friend exodus! Just at the time I needed them.
Tell me it's one reason, then another, (assuming it is a situation with a variety of reasons, do so without continuity and deny the previous reason????)
14 Apr 2011, 2:54 pm
very true.
